Sister vs. Best Friend as MOH

shan87

So I have one Sister who is 2 years older than me but she can be very immature and super dramatic. When I got engaged the first thing she said was I'm the Maid of Honor Right?! not even a congratulations - I don't want her to be my MOH, I want my Best Friend to be.
Suggestions on what to do?.... My FI is out of state and I am doing most of the planning by myself- which means I don't have the energy to argue with her and I have a feeling if I don't give my sister the gig she is going to flip out...

I assume 2 MOH is out of the question??

trix1223

Why is 2 MOH out of the question?  People do it all the time.  If you want both, have both.  If you want your friend, have your friend.  If you can't decide, don't have a MOH.  Say "I love you too much to choose between you".  It's just a random title, after all.

SarahPLiz

2 MOH is never out of the question. I have 2, and no BMs.. its doable.. Or you can have no MOH and just have BMs.

pooh8402

what PP said. I have 2 MOHs.

MyNameIsNot

2 MOH is totally fine, and pretty common.  That would definately be the path of least resistance.

Of course, she shouldn't bully herself into a position and all that, but it's up to you whether it's worth it to deal with that.

stina93446

You can definitely have 2, but it sounds to me like you don't want your sister to be the MOH. If you only want your friend to be, then make it so.

If I wanted my friend to be the MOH and my sis tried to get the spot, I'd either have a second spot, or stick up and tell her that she's a bm. But I'm brassy like that.

gottahavashorti

2 MOH is fine.  Telling your sister she's not MOH could cause family problems down the line - even if it shoudln't.

mags0607

Two MOH's would probably be the path of least resistance. I was MOH for my friend's wedding, and she had two sisters. She told them (not that you are obligated to give a reason why) that she couldn't choose between family, so she chose her best friend. Everyone was okay with that. Then, of course, this only works if you have two siblings.

emilyinchile

Have you said anything in response to your sister about her being MOH? If you've already accepted it, then she is your MOH, you can't demote her. But as PPs have said, you can definitely ask your friend as well.

If you haven't actually discussed your sis being MOH (or really given her reason to think that you agreed with her comment), then technically she's just assuming, and you could say "sis, I'm really hoping you'll be a BM" and tell her that best friend is MOH if she asks. But since it's family, and that's likely to cause drama, I'd probably just sigh over her rudeness, accept that her being MOH rather than a BM isn't actually going to change one single thing about your wedding, and have 2 MOHs.

SocialWorker2B

Since it's family and I personally know how much drama family tends to cause on occasion......I would m ake both ladies MOH.

However, if you really don't want to give your sister that title, than maybe it would be better to have all BMs and no MOHs.

And, if you're 'brassy,' as Stina said, tell your sister that she is not MOH and your BF is. And, if she doesn't like it then she doesn't have to be in the wedding.

Do what feels right in your heart of hearts. GL! :-)

shan87

Update:
My Sister decided that she didn't want to be MOH if there were 2 so she is now a BM.
What a mess - but I am still planning on doing something special with her the day of.