When To Say When

kelmal

We've picked out most  of our wedding party, with the exception of 1 more groomsman. He's having 2 bestmen, 1 groomsman, and a ringbearer and I am having 2 maids of honor and 1 bridesmaid. The bestmen, ringbearer and all the girls have been asked.

We were thinking of asking my older brother to be the final member of the wedding party but nothing is decided.

My fiance's mother emailed me and stated that she thinks it would be nice if "the cousins" were in the wedding party...2 groomsmen, 1 bridesmaid. We were planning on inviting them as guests.

I never envisioned a large wedding party...7 was a good number for me. I don't know how I feel about 9. My fiance is close to his cousins and they are all fabulous people but it's more than we planned and, in addition to the size issue, it does mean he and I would need to shell out money for more attendent gifts...and we're already on a tight budget!

Help??

JoyTate1

My FMIL tried to tell my FI that I HAD to have my FBIL's wife in my WP (who I had met once) and that he HAD to have his cousins on his side (his mom is one of 7 children, you can imagine the number of cousins he has).  My FI told his mother we would have who we wanted in our wedding party, and that was that. 

Since this is your fiance's mother, he should be the one to handle it.  Since they are his cousins, it really is his decision.  He can have them on his side and your brother can be on yours.  However, do not be pressured into including them.  They may prefer to just be guests themselves.

saxy414

Now is a good time to say "when."  PPs have said it very well--tell FMIL thanks for the suggestion, but it's already been decided.  You're right about the financial aspect of it, too.  Have FI talk to his mom if she pushes it any further.

xoxob

She definitely does not need a say in your wedding party. Say that you're happy she wants to be involved in your planning process, but your wedding party is already chosen.