Wedding Party

to give or not to give bridesmaid gifts?

i have 4 bridesmaids, and i am paying for all of their dresses (~$275 each). not sure if i'm just weird like that or if it's an asian thing, but my line of thinking is if i'm going to MAKE them wear something specific that they have to keep, i will pay for it. otherwise, i would have them pay for their own if i gave them freedom to choose their own dress style. my fiance and i are paying for our wedding ourselves so we're trying to keep costs as low as possible, but i made sure to set aside a budget for the dresses.

that being said, should i still get them a bridal gift? and if so, any suggestions? i feel silly if i end up not physically giving them each something at the rehearsal dinner, since we are getting something for the groomsmen (since it's only a tux rental for them).

any advice for my dilemma?

Re: to give or not to give bridesmaid gifts?

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    We are covering the cost of the dresses and GM outfits, along with getting everyone a gift. I think you need to get them a gift as a thank you. The dress is not a gift as it's for the wedding. I am shopping for my BM like it's their birthday so all 4 are getting something different. One is a gift certificate for a semester of her yoga class, another is jewelry, and one is shoes the last I have not figured out yet.
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    yes you should still get them a gift. that is very gracious of you to cover their dress though!  but a gift is still a nice thank you... i'm sure they'll still incur other costs (shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, bridal shower, bachlorette party, hotel, travel, etc. are all possibilities) not to mention their support that doesn't involve money.  you could get something very little and inexpensive or do something personal or homemade but i still think some little token of thanks would be nice. 
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    I agree with you ... if you were requesting that they wear such an expensive dress, it is only proper for you to pay for it and it's not really a gift or a favor for them since it was your requirement.

    That being said, you should get them a gift but you don't need to go nuts on the gift budget for them. Maybe a $25 gift apiece - a book or DVD they'd like, their favorite wine and chocolates, a gift card to a store or restaurant they like, etc. Just something small but something you know they would enjoy and use (rather than generic "bridesmaid gifts").
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    I agree with still need to get them something.

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    You still need to get them something, for sure.  It doesn't have to be anything big, but should be something not for the wedding day.
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    I'd still get them something, but it can definitely be a smaller gift.  If I were in a wedding, I'd be *very* happy to not have ot pay for the dress and it is nice of you to keep the costs down for them (I'm assuming they dont' have to buy anything else, like shoes or hair/make-up etc).  But it is still a nice gesture to give them a heartfelt thank you card and a small gift.

    And generally speaking, if the choice is bride pays for the dress and no gift, or I buy the dress (even at $100) and get some crappy jewelry I'll never wear again, I'd take the dress over the gift any day.
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    that's what i was thinking. i also gave each of them a personal gift when i asked them to be in my bridal party - a different necklace for each girl to play along with my bridesmaid invitation. but then again, would that be considered as a premature bridal gift? Or it doesn't count, since it came with the invitation?
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    I dont think that it would count since it came with the invitation. Like someone posted above, I would just get them something else small with a nice thank you note. Make sure the gift is personal to each of them and the cost of it will not matter. I would much rather get something that costs only a little that I will use versus getting something that costs a lot and is just going to sit in my closet or something. Good luck! I know shopping to make it personal can sometimes be a little challenge.
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    I disagree. You shouldn't have to get them something extra as a thank you. The dress is the thank you. If a bridesmaid's only true role is to stand up and wear the dress, and you're buying them the dress, are you supposed to get them another gift for standing there?

    Just a thought...
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    In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:37Discussion:ad3e9d19-137b-4db6-8564-22ce8c6b8150Post:6e98b138-b54a-45a5-acd5-c26fd0f819c1">Re: to give or not to give bridesmaid gifts?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree. You shouldn't have to get them something extra as a thank you. <strong>The dress is the thank you</strong>. If a bridesmaid's only true role is to stand up and wear the dress, and you're buying them the dress, are you supposed to get them another gift for standing there? Just a thought...
    Posted by kimberlygo[/QUOTE]

    Absolutely not!  This is not a proper thank you....under any circumstances.

    Technically, they show up, get dressed and stand up there with you.  But it's also a little more than chose these ladies to share in your special day and by giving them a gift, you are in essence thanking them for everything they have done along the way and for choosing to share in this special day with you and your FI.

    Please don't be so unappreciative by thinking the dress is their gift. 


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