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TwinkieThirty1

thanks for the advice, and my FI already handled the situation on his own this week.  He did some things to my FI that made it obvious that the friendship has ended, so I didn't even have to address the situation.  What an honorable man my FI is!

heyimbren

Ditto Stage. If you don't want him in the WP, then you can't keep a friendship later on. But it's your FI's groomsman/friend so he needs to decide whether he wants to keep the friendship or not.

tldh

Your wedding isn't until July of next year.  If this relationship runs the same course as the others, she'll be gone.  Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the groomsman has a crush on you and that's why he's not disputing anything?

frogurt814

Ditto PPs, and ditto TLDH on him possibly having a crush on you.

Anyway, maybe GM believes that girlfriend should be able to think and speak for herself.  If she believe you have a crush on GM, then she should be able to say that if she wants.  Do I think it's bratty of her to say that?  Yes, but it's still how she feels.

If she had been calling you terrible names and/or making fun of you, then I would expect GM to stand up for you since you two are pretty good friends, but I see nothing wrong with girlfriend expressing her feelings.

bablingbrooke

Oh my God is there something in the water this week that's making people ask if they can FIRE members of the WP for very small infractions?

frogurt814

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b1c15c76-16fc-4af8-8d31-cde3a4055303Post:ccbcfe7b-0372-48ac-a4e3-53b8cfe64d69">Firing a groomsman</a>:
[QUOTE]So my FI's friend and I became really good buddies and enjoyed a good friendship where we played practical jokes on people.  He dates girls that by no means are tasteful, which is fine, but would always make comments about how they would not be around in the future.  Well he started talking to this girl and did the same, except this is one girl that I really didn't like and she works at Hooters.  His new girl and I had a huge blowout and now this groomsman and I were not on speaking terms.  The groomsman and I agreed to disagree about this girl, and I played nice even if I didn't like her because my FI was friends with him.  Me and my FI got engaged, and of course the groomsman was asked to be in the wedding.  Over the last couple months though, they have drifted as friends, and he is still dating this girl.  A friend of my FI contacted both of us to tell us that the groomsmans girlfriend was telling people that I must have had a crush on the groomsman and that I was jealous of her which is why me and the groomsman were not close friends anymore.  My FI was upset that his friend would not put his girlfriend in place and correct the comment, as was I.  The girlfriend is DEFINITELY not invited to the wedding, and now it's to the point where we don't want him in the WP either.  How do we fire a groomsman who has drifted as a friend,and probably will not be close with us in the future?  It's still fine that he attends, but a WP are people that love you as couple and respect the relationship that is established.  Please help!
Posted by TwinkieThirty1[/QUOTE]

TheCranberry

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b1c15c76-16fc-4af8-8d31-cde3a4055303Post:30d3c4b2-1e6f-4559-9468-5735ecf57947">Re: Firing a groomsman</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my God is there something in the water this week that's making people ask if they can FIRE members of the WP for very small infractions?
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

Ditto!  And there's also a lot of high school drama.

Honestly, I would just stop being friends with these people because I don't like drama in my life.  If I felt like I couldn't speak to my friends about things I heard they were saying, what kind of friendship is that.  And also, who are these other people passing along gossip that they overheard?  If a friend talked crap about one of my other friends in my presence, I'd talk to the crap-talking friend and say that isn't cool.  I wouldn't then tell the other friend that someone was talking about them.  It just sounds like a lot of people who like to stir up trouble.

MyNameIsNot

You don't like her because she works at Hooter's.  Shows how much class YOU have.

Stay out of your FI's relationships.  You are a high school drama queen, and he doesn't need you screwing up his friendships for him.  

If your FI decides he doesn't want to be friends with this guy, he can end the friendship, and therefore end GM's involvement in the wedding.  Otherwise, YOU need to suck it up, and let your FI run his own friendships.

Oh, and if GM comes, his GF is invited.  There's no way around that.  

bablingbrooke

You do know that Hooter's isn't a strip club, right?  

mbcdefg

I don't even have a job right now. Frankly, I wouldn't mind working at Hooters and actually making some money and getting out of the house.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b1c15c76-16fc-4af8-8d31-cde3a4055303Post:7991b735-4e06-42b0-8fea-81ba3af79c4d">Re: Firing a groomsman</a>:
[QUOTE]DH and I go to Hooters from time to time.  <strong>The fried pickles are freaking amazing</strong>.  And yeah, the girls flirt a bit, but every single waitress who has ever lived and worked in any establishment in the world will flirt for tips.  It's part of the gig. If your only judgment of this girl is based on her very legitimate and innocuous job, then the only person who looks bad in this situation is you, and it makes you look very bad indeed.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

<div>This is true.  </div><div>
</div><div>My issue with Hooters is that the girls wear their hair down.  At every restaurant I've ever worked at (and it's been a few) anyone that handled food, from the chefs to the servers, had to have their hair up or tied back.  I don't understand how they get away with it there, and it skeeves me.  </div>

aerinpegadrak

The last time we went to Hooters, the waitress was VERY flirty, even though DH and I were pretty much hanging all over each other like we do, well, everywhere.  She came by later because they were playing some sort of server bingo, and she asked for both of our last names...  and was REALLY surprised for some reason that we had the same one.  We were highly amused.

bablingbrooke

When a friend of mine came to visit from Japan (we went to school together in England), I took her to Hooters.  She wanted to go after I explained the concept.  She took photos with all the waitresses.  She loved it. 

stephasuasu

Hooters is a fine establishment to work at. I put in two year at the Phoenix Arizona Center during college. I currently work in research and development, which is a great job in its own, but Hooters still ranks as my favorite job out of the many that I have had

About asking the groomsman to not be in the wedding, I say go ahead and do it as long as your finace is fine with it. There is so much that is going on on your wedding day that the LAST thing you would want to deal with is any unwarranted drama. I actually had to ask a groomsman to not be in our wedding after he was extremely disrespectful, but it all happened 9 months before the wedding and there ended up being no hurt feelings in the end. It's your wedding, and you two get to call the shots.