GM stepped down...

alliesono

Hello, I'm a newbie here. My fiance and I have been put in a tough situation when a friend of his from HS announced they he will be getting married the day after us. Their location is about a 3 hour drive from ours. Here's the scoop...

My poor hubby-to-be. A good friend of his, and GM, was just asked to be the best man in a wedding that's the day after ours. At first, the GM thought he could do both, but has now decided that he would rather be at the rehearsal dinner for the groom instead of at our wedding. Mostly, we're both just disappointed - him especially.

Any advise on how to handle this situation? I know there's really nothing we can do.

Thanks for reading!

bablingbrooke

Totally fair to be disappointed in him for ditching you guys for another wedding.  That's pretty crappy of him to do and speaks volumes about his character

You're right, there's really nothing you can do.  What you two should do from here: Take a couple of days to be bummed, then move on as best you can.  You don't need to (and shouldn't) replace him, just go forth with the people you have already.  I don't think it's necessarily constructive to speak to him about it, but if your FI wants to talk to him about what happened, he should.  I do NOT think this is something YOU should take any part in.  This is his GM and his friend, his situation to deal with.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_gm-stepped-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b223fd7a-0564-4fec-8139-642bdc395425Post:311e04d5-3623-4491-aa1c-b53bef4454e8">Re: GM stepped down...</a>:
[QUOTE]Totally fair to be disappointed in him for ditching you guys for another wedding.  That's pretty crappy of him to do and speaks volumes about his character You're right, there's really nothing you can do.  What you two should do from here: Take a couple of days to be bummed, then move on as best you can.  You don't need to (and shouldn't) replace him, just go forth with the people you have already.  I don't think it's necessarily constructive to speak to him about it, but if your FI wants to talk to him about what happened, he should.  I do NOT think this is something YOU should take any part in.  This is his GM and his friend, his situation to deal with.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

This.

Did you guys ask him to be in your wedding first? Cause if you did what he did is total douchebaggery.

MyNameIsNot

He sucks.  Wedding should trump rehearsal, especially if he agreed to the wedding first.

But you're right, there's nothing you can do.  I would expect that your FI would be bummed, and would take a couple of days and be pissy/annoyed/crabby about it, and then move on.  

Like Brooke said, just leave the WP alone.  Don't try to fill him in with an understudy or anything.  Let your FI make the call if he wants to call this friend out for ditching him or if he just wants to let it lie.  Now your FI knows a little something about his friend.  

jaimed99

Not to demean you or your FI at all, but is the other wedding someone with whom the GM is close? I mean, what he did was pretty crappy, but is the other wedding for someone like his brother, cousin, best friend? Maybe he feels that the relationship with the other person/couple is more important, which is crappy, but that may have been his logic.

I'll also agree with PPs saying not to replace him. Other than that, there's nothing you can do. Enjoy your wedding...it will be his loss for not being there!

alliesono

Thanks for the advice, and for listening, ladies

To answer a few of your questions:

The other wedding the GM is going to is for one of his best friends. We announced our wedding date waaaaay back in 2009 (long engagement due to our both being grad students, at schools across the country from each other). Early this year, once "other groom" had already announced his wedding date, we asked GM to be in our wedding. My fiance knew that this GM would probably be a GM in the other wedding, too, and had a long talk with GM about it. You know, that he was one of his really good friends, but that he know he'd be in this other wedding, and that he'd like him to be a GM in his but he'd understand if he couldn't. GM was very very adament that he could do both, and was super excited for a double-wedding weekend. A few months after that he was officially asked by "other groom" to be a GM in his wedding.

Fast forward to a few days ago, when all of a sudden GM has been "promoted" to best man in the other wedding. This is when he tells my fiance that he won't be at our wedding.

I understand that this is GM's best friend. I understand that GM may not have felt comfortable declining to be a GM in our wedding at first, but I can't help feeling a little peeved.

There, that's the end of my rant.

Oh, and no, we have no plans on "replacing" him.

bablingbrooke

It does suck, but now reading all of this, I'd cut him some slack.  HE didn't pick the date for this other wedding, or for yours.  He has two events he was asked to be in and he tried to balance them as best he could.  Upon his "promotion" he probably felt obligated to give that wedding his full attention.  I'm not saying he handled it very well, or that you don't have any right to be peeved with him, I'm just saying that he didn't schedule this other wedding so you can only be so mad at him for how it turned out.  Know what I mean?

I would still refrain from calling or talking to him about it yourself.  It has the potential to blow things up further, and I think it would be best for everyone to just try to pick up the pieces and move on.

jaimed99

That sucks...again, it was crappy of your man's friend to back down like that, but he'll be the one missing out on enjoying TWO weddings in one weekend

deepcovejackie

That sucks, but yes, you'll have a kick-ass wedding anyway!

MyNameIsNot

Yeah, I still think he sucks.  I still think wedding trumps rehearsal any day of the week.  

But I understand his motives now and would forgive him.

mrsjustinm2b

agree with Manwaithiel Its definetly douchbaggery to ditch for a rehearsal. How much rehearsing does this fellow need to walk in a straight line?

artbyallie

I agree with pps and would like to add that the other groom is a twit for "promoting" the GM to best man. Who does that? Was he (shudder) "replacing" the former best man?