Little advice?

Blambert01022010

Today I got a call from my salon where I order my BM dresses from. They called and informed me that one of my BMs didn't order her dress yet,She also told me that if she didn't order buy the end of this month, it wouldn't be in by my wedding.Well,  I asked if I may get the name of the BM, so I could call and talk with her about it. Apparently the BM that didn't order her dress, lie to me. So, I know I can't exactly say "Hey, you didn't order you dress, You lied to me about it.So, your not in the wedding." quit frankly I know this end friendships and I don't want to do this. Should I just let this go or say something? I don't want to be snarky about it!

banana468

Could you call and say, "Hey, the store called me and said that they don't have any order information for you for your BM dress.    I thought I remember you telling me this was all set so could you give them a call to straighten out the billing?  If you haven't ordered yet, you can still get it all set as long as they have your info by the end of the month.  If you don't order by that time, it won't be able to arrive in time for the wedding.   I'd hate for you to not have the dress but if you'd rather not be a BM I totally understand."

Assuming you asked each BM individually for her budget and there was no issue with the budget, that's the approach I'd take.

HandBanana

I would just call and say that the salon said she didn't order it and tell her she has till the end of the month. Could she have gotten it somewhere else? I have an Alfred Angelo BM dress I ordered through RK Bridal online which is not who the bride went through.

GoodLuckBear14

Tell her that the store called and said it wasn't ordered.  Like Handbanana said, she may have ordered it somewhere else.  Give her the drop dead date and if she doesn't order by then, she has taken herself out of the wedding.

Blambert01022010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6aadc9d-d4d4-4a33-8344-227b2443e7daPost:1eac5151-4626-472c-9f81-f505635d5da1">Re: Little advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]Could you call and say, "Hey, the store called me and said that they don't have any order information for you for your BM dress.    I thought I remember you telling me this was all set so could you give them a call to straighten out the billing?  If you haven't ordered yet, you can still get it all set as long as they have your info by the end of the month.  If you don't order by that time, it won't be able to arrive in time for the wedding.   I'd hate for you to not have the dress but if you'd rather not be a BM I totally understand." <strong>Assuming you asked each BM individually for her budget and there was no issue with the budget, that's the approach I'd take.</strong>
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

You assumed right! I have been in many weddings and give the same respect to them as they have to me.  :) I will however take the approach and hope for the best. Just don't understand why she felt she has to lie to me.

Mrs.B6302007

Maybe she's a bit short on cash right now and didn't want you to stress about her not having the dress yet?  I mean, lying isn't the way to solve that problem but maybe she thought it would buy her a bit more time.  She probably never thought that the store would call you.

Blambert01022010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6aadc9d-d4d4-4a33-8344-227b2443e7daPost:a6942326-eaf1-4d5d-a596-f43718a8406b">Re:Little advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just call and say that the salon said she didn't order it and tell her she has till the end of the month. <strong>Could she have gotten it somewhere else? I have an Alfred Angelo BM dress I ordered through RK Bridal online which is not who the bride went through.</strong>
Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure she did, but I could be wrong. I never thought the dress we picked out, could have been ordered from somewhere different. I mean, like as far as someone else carrying it I guess :)

Summer2011Bride

I would just tell her the store called and said she hadn't ordered the dress. See what she says. If she hasn't ordered it from anywhere, let her know the absolute latest she can get it ordered and leave the rest up to her. If she doesn't order it in time, she's taken herself out of the wedding.

Blambert01022010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6aadc9d-d4d4-4a33-8344-227b2443e7daPost:498bf37b-066b-4171-a0c9-6fb453b59a61">Re: Little advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Maybe she's a bit short on cash right now and didn't want you to stress about her not having the dress yet?  I mean, lying isn't the way to solve that problem but maybe she thought it would buy her a bit more time.  She probably never thought that the store would call you.</strong>
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

I thought I would ask but don't want to sound rude. Some people take that offensive, like calling someone poor. She is a really good friend, but wouldn't want to give off the wrong vibe!

Blambert01022010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6aadc9d-d4d4-4a33-8344-227b2443e7daPost:1d33e31b-1bfc-41c9-b3c2-6da354b884f6">Re: Little advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just tell her the store called and said she hadn't ordered the dress. See what she says. If she hasn't ordered it from anywhere,<strong> let her know the absolute latest she can get it ordered and leave the rest up to her</strong>. If she doesn't order it in time, she's taken herself out of the wedding.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

It's just weird because she works at the same place I chose to order my dresses at ,except its in another state. . .

HandBanana

In Response to Re:Little advice?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Little advice?:I would just tell her the store called and said she hadn't ordered the dress. See what she says. If she hasn't ordered it from anywhere, let her know the absolute latest she can get it ordered and leave the rest up to her. If she doesn't order it in time, she's taken herself out of the wedding.Posted by Summer2011BrideIt's just weird because she works at the same place I chose to order my dresses at ,except its in another state. . . Posted by Blambert01022010[/QUOTE]

Did she order it through the shop she works at and the shop you are going through doesn't know? Talk to her because us hyputhesizing solves nothing.

Blambert01022010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6aadc9d-d4d4-4a33-8344-227b2443e7daPost:05fabb28-552e-4c72-b795-506bfeb37791">Re:Little advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Little advice?: <strong> Did she order it through the shop she works at and the shop you are going through doesn't know?</strong> <strong>Talk to her because us hyputhesizing solves nothing.</strong>
Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]

Possibly, but I won't know until she calls me back. I called but no answer, so I left her a voicemail asking her to call me that I received a confusing call to day, regaurding her ordering her dress, if she could call me back.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6aadc9d-d4d4-4a33-8344-227b2443e7daPost:7766329f-13c6-4424-a0a0-ff3812f18a96">Re: Little advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Little advice? : I thought I would ask but don't want to sound rude. Some people take that offensive, like calling someone poor. She is a really good friend, but wouldn't want to give off the wrong vibe!
Posted by Blambert01022010[/QUOTE]

Oh, I wouldn't ask her why she lied.  She's going to know you know as soon as you tell her what the shop said and she's probably going to be embarrassed. Asking her would just be insulting on top of that and might cause her to get defensive.  She might offer up an explanation during the conversation.  If not, I would let it lie (no pun intended).

After reading your other post that she works for the same salon chain, maybe she did order it through her own store and it's just not showing up in the system some how.  Or, maybe t she gets an employee discount and it has to be rung up differently and it won't show under your name?  This is all speculation of course, but I am curious now to hear how your conversation goes.  Update us later, please.

Blambert01022010

Alright everyone! So I have talked to my BM, and great to know that she is still in the wedding She called me back and the converstation goes as follows

She called me and was like, Hey, everything okay chick?
I just explained to her I was little confused, I got a call today to let me know she hadn't order her dress yet, and that I thought I remember her have saying she did, BUT I could have misunderstood her. I didn't misunderstand her. . . but my other BM was called and told that she couldn't order her dress yet, bc she had an out of state emergency and hadn't gotten around to it, to please let me know. . . Message never made it to me. Why she didn't call ME idk. So I asked her and she said I was stressed out (Family issues myself and im sick) and she just called to let the other BM so she could relay it whenever I was better. I told her I totally understood and that I hope everything is okay now. She will be ordering tomorrow.

Blambert01022010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6aadc9d-d4d4-4a33-8344-227b2443e7daPost:849383ac-dfc4-4bf8-b061-97977b6e0ac1">Re:Little advice?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I'm totally confused, but it sounds like it worked out, so yay!</strong>
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

:) Well, since I have been sick and dealing with family issues myself, she said she didn't want to call me and stress me out more, with her not ordering her dress. So, she left the message with my other BM and told her to tell me when I was feeling better. I guess the other BM forgot to relay the message. All in all she is still getting her dress. I'm really happy it worked out too lol!