Needs advice

gizmochouinard

I am not getting married until 2013, but I am stressing about who to have in my wedding party.  The biggest stress is that my brother got married last year and I was in the wedding party.  My sister-in-law has a very large tatoo on her chest.  I know that which ever dress I choose for the party the tatoo would be exposed.  I know that it sounds like I am being a snarky bride, but I don't want her tatoo to take away from me.  Any suggestions on how to incorporate her into the wedding?

I was thinking about having her do a reading.

saisongbird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_needs-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b9fb7901-dc5f-448f-ba87-076b312ced3cPost:b3f20912-cf09-4eff-9427-94f8c705395e">Needs advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not getting married until 2013, but I am stressing about who to have in my wedding party.  The biggest stress is that my brother got married last year and I was in the wedding party.  My sister-in-law has a very large tatoo on her chest.  I know that which ever dress I choose for the party the tatoo would be exposed.  I know that it sounds like I am being a snarky bride, but I don't want her tatoo to take away from me.  Any suggestions on how to incorporate her into the wedding? I was thinking about having her do a reading.
Posted by gizmochouinard[/QUOTE]

<div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;font-size:medium;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">Who's to say that if she won't wear a chest exposing dress if she does a reading?  You choose PEOPLE who are close to you.  People are not props.  If she means a lot to you, she should be in your bridal party, tattoo or not.</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">Secondly, your wedding is in 2013?  Don't even THINK about this for two years.  Seriously.  It's going to cause you more problems that you could ever imagine if you pick your bridal party before 2012.  Besides, bridal fashions can change.  Have an open mind, and don't ask people to cover up parts of their bodies that clearly mean a lot to them.</div></span></div>

quotequeen

Nobody can take away from a bride on her wedding day, so if that's truly what you're concerned about, just have her in the wedding and don't worry about it.  But I agree with PP - don't ask anybody to be in your wedding for 2 years.

bablingbrooke

You have 3 years until your wedding.  3.  Who is going to be in the WP shouldn't even cross your mind until 2012.  So wait until 2012.  In fact, the only thing you should be doing about the wedding at all right now is saving money.  Don't plan anything yet--your plans are sure to change at some point in the next 3 years.  You may feel very differently about your SIL in 3 years.  In 3 years you may feel that her tattoo isn't such a big deal--surely 3 years from now you and your family will be used to it.  Or in 3 years she may want to cover it up.  Or in 3 years you may not want her at all involved in the wedding--she doesn't have to be.

Do you see a theme in my response?  You have 3 years.  Why your'e stressing about anything related to the wedding 3 years before it happens is beyond me.  It's like you're creating stress in your life for the hell of it.

mkrupar

Please just enjoy your engagement right now and don't even think about your WP. If people as kwho you've chosen just politely tell them "FI and I are just enjoying our engagement and haven't begun planning anything for the wedding." I think people will understand since your wedding is 3 years away. I agree with PP you may think differently about your SIL in three years. Please don't choose people for your WP as props. Choose those that are close to you. Also, one chest tattoo is not going to take away from the girl in the big white dress.

zitiqueen

Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

trix1223

I'm going to ditto the pps on several responses:

Your wedding is 3 years away.  Don't ask ANYONE to be in your WP until about 8-10 months before the wedding.  Don't choose dresses yet~styles change in 3 years.

Start keeping a notebook of things you like, but don't lock anything down yet.  Your taste may change in 3 years.

As for the tattoo:  sorry, but you're being shallow.  There is nothing that can take away from the bride on her wedding day.  Unless you're planning to have your FSIL wear a big white dress and a veil, no one will be looking at her.

Her tattoo is the LEAST of any reason to not ask her, two years from now, to be in your WP.

mbcdefg

I know that it sounds like I am being a snarky bride, but I don't want her tatoo to take away from me.

It's already a whole day centered entirely around you. How much more attention do you possibly need?

loop0406

2013 ?

I would not be thinking about WP or making decisions until 12 months before wedding

hisalwaysandforever

I agree not to ask anyone til it is closer to your wedding day.

About the tattoo...I'm sorry but you should not care about that. Nothing can take from the bride. And it is just a tattoo. No big deal.

Manwaithiel

Hit the brakes, sweetie.

SassyBrass

Ditto. Pretty much everyone.

You're creating unnecessary stress. You don't have to worry about your WP for a couple of years, and you're already concerned about someone who might be part of the WP?
As the others said, styles change. Who knows, high collar-cut dresses might really be in at that time (you know, like a halter style that goes up higher on the chest).
Not only can styles change, but relationships as well. What if she has just had a baby and doesn't want to stand in the WP because she's watching her baby?
All I'm getting at is that there is a lot of time and factors to take place before you need to think about your WP. For now, enjoy the time now when there isn't a lot to stress about.

Beachy730

Do yourself a favor and scroll down through a few pages of threads on this board.  I can't even tell you how many threads there are that go something along the lines of "I asked her to be my BM a year ago and now a year before the wedding I want to kick her out."  Just wait to ask.  And even if you do wait, i'm sure you'll be thinking about who you'll have anyways.  But you'll likely regret it if you ask people now for a wedding 3 years from now.  I hate to say it, but she might not even be your SIL still in 3 years,

When the time comes though, you should ask your SIL because youw want her to be next to you since you think of her as a close and important person to you.  Don't ask her or not ask her because of a tattoo.  However, there are different dress styles that cover the chest.  Not all BM dresses are strapless or low cut.  2 of my BMs wore a y-neck dress from David's Bridal that covered their entire chest because thats what they were more comfortable in. 

aerinpegadrak

Shallow.  So sad.

bablingbrooke

Also, you do know that by having her do a reading she'll be facing the entire audience of guests with her "Sexy Bitch" tat for all to see, but if she's a BM her back will be turned, thereby turning this whole thing into a non-issue...right?