Never drink and Knot (apologies in advance)

xoxob

MOTHERFLIPPIN'MOTHEREFFERHOW THE HELL (you probably shouldn't even read this)

I'm really sorry ladies, I just need to put this out there into the great wide world of vastness. I'm so upset, crying, freaking out, couldn't even ride the subway home because I was about to tear everyone's head off, drank a bottle of wine and screamed at the top of my lungs to FI, who said "I know baby, I know, you want to knot?"

My mom, is considering getting back together with my Step Father, who just six months ago said he had to leave her because he was no longer attracted to her. While they were in the process of separation put charges on their joint credit card to join a dating service, and charged a bunch of "presents" he needed to give his GIRLFRIEND.

Refused to call me (he'd been my step dad for 20 years) because he said that my mother was a poisonous bitch who clearly turned me against him. I HATE THIS MAN! He destroyed my mother. Destroyed her. She finally moved away from Florida, which was where they lived and moved back to CT where she was from.

And now, she is going back to that?! she is going back there?! he pulled this crap 10 years ago, and it's ok that she is going back now?

Really? Really?

I don't get it...I hate it...this is crap. I don't understand. I'm flabbergasted and I just...I'm freaking out...my mother, who to me has always been a pillar of strength is now considering going to someone whose reasoning was "I love you, but I don't lust you, anymore." She doesn't deserve that.

I hate myself because in this moment I cannot respect her.

I'm really sorry. This isn't even half of the back story and I have no place writing this here, but I am so afraid of everyone I know right now. When I'm this upset I usually go to my dad but he is on vacation right now (for the first time in over 10 years because of his bipolar disorder) and I don't want to upset him.

Steve has been amazing but I can only take him agreeing with me so much. I'm sure, I'm a bitch for freaking out like this. But what scares me the most is, if my mom goes back to him, I can never trust him again, how am I supposed to go back to treating him like family?

I just want to scream profanities off a rooftop. And, I'm sorry, again.

xoxob

You ladies, you are the best. Another glass of wine, some stand up comedy on the instant netflix and FI gave me an early birthday present!

Thank you for justifying all of my frutstrations. You're the best!!

Stina, you have a PM!!

stina93446

I don't see one...

xoxob

You repsonded to this before I finished typing! You do for sure right now! lol

SassyBrass

That's hard to deal with. Do what you need to do- get your fristrations out, wine, comedy, whatever works.
Give it a bit of time so you can be composed about this, then you'll know where to go from there. Keep in mind you can wine and knot anyime. There's always someone here for ya.

CA2MT4EveR

I'm sorry your night (and the situation) sucked  

I don't mind the venting.  That what "friends" are for!  I hope you get a good nights sleep.

caseyandlizzie

I've gone through something similar with my mother and her husband. They split up for the first time when I was about 15 and they get back together and split up again every few years. He has cheated on her, stole money from her and basically has treated her like crap for the past 14 years, and for some godforsaken reason she keeps going back to him. It really sucks because I don't want him to be a part of my life (neither do my siblings) but then she makes us choose between the whole family and him for holidays because she can't leave him by himself. We had Thanksgiving without her last year because of this.

Yep, your mom is an adult and she will make decisions that you won't agree with, but that's life. Be there for her as much as you can....you don't have to like it, but its your mom. It sucks, but its your mom.

baystateapple

Late to this...but jeezum, Bec, I'm sorry.  *HUGS* 

xoxob

Thanks everyone! I feel a little better today (a little hungover) but, OK.

My mom sent me an email and I told I need a day to absorb and she will probably get an earful.

And don't worry, a year from now I won't be on the E board asking if I HAVE to invite my Step Father even though I hate him.

suz62984

haha- its ok. I'm not inviting my stepmother.  I even told my father that if she shows they will both be escorted off the premises. Sorry about all the drama, even though i'm late  to this. I hope you are feeling better this morning.

CTGirl30

It's possible to sometimes hate the choices someone makes and still love them as person.

I'm sorry you've got a lot going on right now. I'm glad the venting helped. Hang in there.

SarahPLiz

Sorry so late, but I hope you are getting some perspective this morning. My situation is not as sever as yours, but I really dislike my step dad and the way he treats my older sister and BIL, and other people in general. He has narrowed my mother's previously wide world view, and it makes me sad. BUT he makes her happy and he takes care of her and my little sister and would do anything for them, so I accept what I can and move on.

Its entirely ok to not like the decisions your mom is making, and to tell her that. But you can't change her mind if she doesn't want to change it in the first place.

Perhaps you should write back to her, but not send it. Then re-read it tomorrow morning after you have had more time to digest before you send it.

LarissaAnn

I'm late on this & sorry I wasn't around last night, but I'm glad you're doing a little better this morning.

The situation sucks, of course.  I think people just have an easier time sticking with an awful situation they KNOW than really diving into the new & unknown.  The known evil always seems like the easier and (believe it or not) more comfortable choice.

Hopefully he'll either truly be good to her this time or she'll wise up & kick him to the curb for good.

Hang in there.  And yeah, don't apologize.