I'm going to try and make this as short as possible but it is a kind of lengthy explanation of details....So here goes.
My sister was diagnosed with cancer in September and within two weeks, I was at her home to help take care of her. I live several states away and decided a leave of absence would be best suited for the situation. My job ended up not following through with the LOA and told me 4 days after being gone that I would have to return to work or resign - I resigned.
I took the burden of losing an income, paying for groceries and gas at my sister's home in addition to the normal expenses in my life. I did small things each week to celebrate her progress with a special gift to mark each chemo with a small type of keepsake I carefully put a lot of thought into.
My sister is married and also has a 10 month old beautiful baby girl, who I also helped care for. I cooked, cleaned, watched my niece during the nights with nearly no help from my BIL. I spent 2 months and 11 days with them and away from my boyfriend (now FI as of the day I got back home!) and felt miserable and used the entire time.
I defended my sister because my BIL was drunk on the sofa and she needed to go to the ER, which is not a place for a baby just getting over a cold. He was rude to her, ignored her wishes, etc. I went to talk to him and he ignored me and was rude, so I told him he was the most selfish person I had ever met and that he needed to grow up and sit with his sick wife in the ER. That didn't go over well.
So, fast-forward a few days to the day before I left. I was informed he wasn't taking me to the airport that is 3 hours round-trip of driving and that she was going to do it. She had chemo 2 days before that and that was not safe for her, so I rented a car and drove myself. Fine, my BIL is an A-hole....That's fine. But, what is truly making me feel like crap and bitter about what I gave up, is that she didn't even wake up to say goodbye to me but the week before was able to make that trip with her husband to drop off her MIL. They gave her a very thoughtful gift of a book by her favorite author to say thank you for helping them for a week.
I didn't do what I did for the recognition, I did it because I wanted to, but is a card thanking me too much to ask? Am I wrong for my feelings being hurt? My aunt just visited to help for one week and she was the most amazing person in the world, but I have yet to even feel as if I was appreciated.
I am very hurt and just don't know if I should just bite the bullet and tell her or if I should just let it go. I wish I didn't feel this way but I feel bitter. One month after being home, I still have no job and for what? I feel so used and don't even know if it's worth mentioning to her because she is the type that will think I am attacking her and won't understand what I am upset about...
I'm sorry it's so long but I really need some outside advice and didn't know where else to look. Thank you in advance. To remind you all, I really didn't do it for any recognition, I just wish what I gave up felt like it was appreciated and I don't feel that way at all.
BFP #1 12/12/11 - Missed M/C 1/9/12 ~ BFP #2 4/5/2012