I never thought I would have more than maybe 3 bridesmaids. My two sisters and one friend.
That is, until I met my fiance and I'm now inheriting 3 more sisters, which I love. Anyway, my one sister is my MOH, my other sister and his 3 sisters are my bridesmaids, I didn't want to leave my supposed (I will explain the meaning of "supposed") BFF out so I asked her to be in the wedding as well. My BFF agreed and then commented on the money issue of the dress and traveling, etc. So, I gave her 2 opportunities to back out. She really wouldn't hurt my feelings any if she would rather just be a guest than a bridesmaid. But she insisted that I'm her BFF and she wants to, okay so there we have it.
This supposed BFF and I have had a strained relationship here and there over the years. She has a lot of family issues that make her act out in ways...that aren't always sweet as sugar. That said, I've made a lot of excuses for her snarky, sarcastic and sometimes really mean spirited comments. It's her defense mechanism, almost how she copes. Okay, fine. At some point though enough is enough. She is always a negative nancy, a debbie downer if you will. It has always been me trying to make her see the light of situations, and always me making HER feel better about whatever she is down about. In return, I get a lot of backhanded passive aggressive "compliments" and criticism against me as a person for choosing to wear something in particular she doesn't think I should be wearing, or commenting on my weight, because god forbid anyone be skinnier than she is. Everything is a competition with her. She talks about a lot of her other "friends" behind their backs and it really makes me wonder what she is saying about me when I'm not around. I've come to the conclusion she is a classic frenemy. When I'm really honest with myself, I stay angry and upset with her more often than not. That's not a real friendship. I've had to pull teeth to get her to support me getiting married (because I'm doing it before her, she's not happy about it!)
I've come to a point where I'm just over it. I've gone to my sister time and time again for advice about her and she always says the same thing "she's a miserable person, she will always be a miserable person, and misery loves company. She wants to bring you down with her." My BFF (cough) made a comment last week that just sent me over the edge, I FINALLY asked her why she says the things she does, why she is so critical of others. She in turn, played the victim and tried to turn it around like she didn't mean it the way she said it. I haven't spoken to her in almost 2 weeks and frankly, I've been much more stress free without having to play her therpist on a daily basis (which might I add I have mentioned she should try therapy to work on her family issues).
So this leads me to, what do I do? When I really think about it, I do not want her to be part of my wedding party. She doesn't really support me in my upcoming marriage, and why should I have someone apart of the party that really just doesn't care?
Part of me is just hoping she kind of drifts off and doesn't talk to me anymore and I just won't have to deal with it. Another part of me is waiting for the dramatic text or email I will receive from her saying what a terrible friend I am. What do I do? Do I just talk to her and "break up" so to speak, or do I just ride it out and see where it goes? We plan on ordering dresses in December, and if she doesn't speak to me between now and then - do you think she would still consider hersellf part of the wedding party?
HELP!