I'm not going try not to say anything negative about my MIL to be. To be quite honest a lot of the time I see her more as a big sister of sorts to my miance versus a mom sometimes. Never the less she's remarried and has now two children with her new spouse (current ages 5 & 9).
Now my Miancee has a daughter as well and the plan was to have his sister and his daughter be the flower girls (both are 5) And we've aleady asked and asked his brother to have a part in the wedding as well.
I've discussed flower girl dresses with her and her sister is a talented seamstress, and has said that she'd help by making the girls dresses in hopes to save money- as the ones that i found is aroung $80.00.
Now my fiancee's daughter was asked to be in his cousin's wedding as well and she's approached me to try and use the same dress- and she is not as much of a fan as having it made by his aunt. Our colors are similar so we were hoping an Ivory flower girl dress and then maybe just a sash to coordinate best with our own weddings. I thought if I could find another dress similar I could have his Aunt make a matching one for his sister.
Now we've gone thru some changes in our home life with jobs etc, on top of all the stress his MIL doesn't try and lessen it and has cut off contact at this time- we don't fully understand why- again i partially feel as though that it's because she chooses when to put the mother hat on when things are going well, now we have some struggles and it is now too much for her- we haven't asked for a cent from his family nor are they expected to contribute, nor are we living with them etc, so it's hard to understand some of this behavior.
Now we have time to let her cool off and then become mom again, but his cousins wedding is going to be this september and I'd like to pick out a dress that works for both, when the time comes around is it rude to expect them to then get the same dress for his sister? She's completely removed herself from the planning, and I was trying to be respectul of any budget constraints that they might have. Or should we just cough up the cost of the dress that she'll wear once for his cousins wedding and then be amicable and get the dresses made for the girls at a later time?