confused

kjwest5024

Short version possible. Originally I had chosen a MOH and 5 BMs....my FI had a BM and 5GM....My MOH is a friend of mine(although not the closet friend at the time) and my FI best friend(my reason for choosing her). One of my BM has been a friend of mine for several years now and I want her in the wedding. She got into a argument with FI because her heard her bad mouthing me for not picking her for my MOH. She asked my to call her because she knew he had already text me and told me(which of course he had). I was busy at the time and told her that i would try to later on. Needless to say I forgot and even forgot the whole thing(im very forgetful) and she blew up at me for it and took herself out of the wedding.

So with all the drama we decided to change things around and do mostly family wedding party....my 2 cousins, a friend and my MOH(original friend) and then his dad(best man) 2 uncles and my little brother. Well his mom asked his uncle who he didn't want to ask to be in the wedding and now they say his uncle should be in it and not his best friend that he had already wanted to be a GM

I guess my question is what should we do in these situations?

sdeluna08

Assuming that you had already asked the original WP and told them you changed it to a family affair, I would tell the family members who are saying your FI friend shouldn't be in that you have already changed things enough and that you are keeping the friend in it.  You can always have an extra GM...i've seen it done before and it was perfectly fine. 

Most importantly, remember that it is YOUR wedding and the people standing up there with you should be people that mean the  most to you.

RaptorSLH

You have uneven sides, remember that these are people, not props, and keep everyone who has already been asked by the bride or groom.  That may include the original line up, the new line up, or both, but does not include anyone asked only by MOG, who had no authority to make that decision.

TiffannieF

Please re read your post and edit. I cannot follow some of it. "She got into an argument with FI Because her heard her bad mouthing". (is it he heard Her or she heard him). "She asked my to call her because..." I also don't understand the beginning when describing your MOH you started talking about your FIs best friend...are you having 2 MOHs? Who is being the drama queen?

kjwest5024

its one moh she is my friend but also my FI best friend. we didnt switch the entire party...i hadnt asked one girl and then he had only asked his dad and uncle so no one else knew that they were going to be in it. FI has three uncles still living, he wanted to 2 from his mothers side in the wedding but not the one from his fathers side and she misunderstood him.

im sorry for the misspelling i was typing to fast....my friend who i asked to be a bridesmaid is the one getting mad because she not MOH and causing problems.

skippylouwho

Common punctuation would be a huge help also.

mbody

Wait.. What?

Maggie0829

So you chose your MOH because she is best friends with your FI but is only a semi-friend to you?  Um, that is not how you choose your MOH!  You should be choosing the person who is nearest and dearest to you.  But since you have already picked your MOH you cannot change that.  Honestly, I would try to stop pleasing everyone with your wedding party...the decision of who you have standing next to you is your decision and yours alone (same goes for you FI side...his decision).

As far as your close friend being upset that she isn't your MOH...well that is her problem that she needs to get over.  I tend to think it is crazy when girls get all upset because they were either not included in the bridal party or they weren't designated MOH.

Keep your wedding party the way it is and move on.  If she continues to complain, tell her that you and your FI have decided on your wedding party and then change the subject.  Being invited as a guest is an honor as well.

TiffannieF

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_confused-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c00bc00b-9167-46c9-a89a-e694f50bca0ePost:16f32916-48c9-4ee7-ad3c-2689b37b83bc">Re: confused</a>:
[QUOTE]its one moh she is my friend but also my FI best friend. we didnt switch the entire party...i hadnt asked one girl and then he had only asked his dad and uncle so no one else knew that they were going to be in it. FI has three uncles still living, he wanted to 2 from his mothers side in the wedding but not the one from his fathers side and she misunderstood him. im sorry for the misspelling i was typing to fast....my friend who i asked to be a bridesmaid is the one getting mad because she not MOH and causing problems.
Posted by kjwest5024[/QUOTE]



I'm SO sorry but I STILL don't understand....

You have the following drama with:
-a friend of yours, that's a BM, but mad because she is not the MOH.
-some female who is upset because FIs 3rd uncle (from fathers side) wasnt asked to be a GM

I think, since you hadn't asked the original 5, rearranging the BP is fine. Large WP *tend* to be more drama so maybe the smaller the better. But this friend that is mad, did you ask her to be a BM and now are kicking her out because she's being a drama queen? What is your question again? Lol sorry, I want to help I'm just very confused what's going on....

TiffannieF

Oh I see that MOG mentioned the uncle. The only people who chose the WP, regardless of who is paying, is the B & G. Your FI needs to tell her this and that she needs to shut her mouth before she creates more drama. If your FI doesn't want his uncle in it, I'm sure it's because of an obvious relationship. I had my uncle as an U although I have 4 other uncles....I don't believe their feelings were hurt because I'm not very close to them where as my uncle that was an U I am (use to call him Uncle Daddy, he considers me his only daughter). If this uncle does get his feelings hurt maybe it will make him reconsider his relationship with his nephew and the two will have a stronger bond.

zitiqueen

<address>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_confused-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c00bc00b-9167-46c9-a89a-e694f50bca0ePost:488a86e1-592e-4a43-b2a5-c11e2b52d123">confused</a>:
[QUOTE]Short version possible. <strong>Originally I had chosen a MOH and 5 BMs....</strong>my FI had a BM and 5GM....My MOH is a friend of mine(although not the closet friend at the time) and my FI best friend(my reason for choosing her). One of my BM has been a friend of mine for several years now and I want her in the wedding. She got into a argument with FI because her heard her bad mouthing me for not picking her for my MOH. She asked my to call her because she knew he had already text me and told me(which of course he had). I was busy at the time and told her that i would try to later on. Needless to say I forgot and even forgot the whole thing(im very forgetful) and she blew up at me for it and took herself out of the wedding. So with all the drama we decided to change things around and do mostly family wedding party....my 2 cousins, a friend and my MOH(original friend) and then his dad(best man) 2 uncles and my little brother. Well his mom asked his uncle who he didn't want to ask to be in the wedding and now they say his uncle should be in it and not his best friend that he had already wanted to be a GM I guess my question is what should we do in these situations?
Posted by kjwest5024[/QUOTE]

Are any of these people (the original MOH and 5 BMs) still in your wedding party?</address>

mbcdefg

Whoever you've already asked is in.

Whoever you have not asked is not.

Well his mom asked his uncle who he didn't want to ask to be in the wedding and now they say his uncle should be in it and not his best friend that he had already wanted to be a GM


Even if, hypothetically, you DID want the uncle in the wedding party, why would the best friend have to be kicked out?

TiffannieF

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_confused-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c00bc00b-9167-46c9-a89a-e694f50bca0ePost:c8151946-4518-4fdb-8445-c166b667d2df">Re: confused</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still confused, but what malphabet said.
Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]

Me too

kjwest5024

thanks for the advice....and i didnt kick anyone out...she said she wasnt gonna be a bm anymore

Sydney91

You need to be clear and explicit when you write. I couldn't follow what you are saying.