I don't have any friends to be bridesmaids... anyone else the same?

Marth85

I certainly have never admit this to anyone and when approached with the topic I make it seem like I just want my sister to be my bridesmaid. But the truth is, I don't have any close friends. I'm getting engaged in a few weeks, very excited. But have thought of this in the last 6 weeks or so. I KNOW people, just my boyfriend's friends girlfriends, none of whom I've become close to, but we are very friendly with eachother and have fun! Also, in rare contact with college friends whom live far away. So no close friends that I see one on one... I just feel sad looking at pictures of people's weddings and they have 7 bridesmaids. Anyone else in this situation? I don't care about numbers, I could have my future SIL in it but that may not be a good idea considering how she is, long story short. So I will just have my sister in it. But still... is everyone going to know I must not have friends when my fiance has got like 3-4 (of his MANY) groomsmen up there with him? I don't think there's any chance of a new big friendship in a year's time... I know I will at some point. I don't think I have a problem making friends or anything, just have been satisfied with what I've got I suppose. Is anyone else in the same boat? Have you been to a wedding where the bridesmaids were severely outnumbered by the groomsmen, or vice versa? ...Would anyone ever think "boy, she must have no friends!"?

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dont-friends-bridesmaids-anyone-else-same?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c0b00689-99ca-43b4-ac7b-3d7c7e55ceb0Post:431a5876-90ce-4a86-ac7b-5c2255a18bee">I don't have any friends to be bridesmaids... anyone else the same?</a>:
[QUOTE]I certainly have never admit this to anyone and when approached with the topic I make it seem like I just want my sister to be my bridesmaid. But the truth is, I don't have any close friends. I'm getting engaged in a few weeks, very excited. But have thought of this in the last 6 weeks or so. I KNOW people, just my boyfriend's friends girlfriends, none of whom I've become close to, but we are very friendly with eachother and have fun! Also, in rare contact with college friends whom live far away. So no close friends that I see one on one... I just feel sad looking at pictures of people's weddings and they have 7 bridesmaids. Anyone else in this situation? I don't care about numbers, I could have my future SIL in it but that may not be a good idea considering how she is, long story short. So I will just have my sister in it. But still... is everyone going to know I must not have friends when my fiance has got like 3-4 (of his MANY) groomsmen up there with him? I don't think there's any chance of a new big friendship in a year's time... I know I will at some point. I don't think I have a problem making friends or anything, just have been satisfied with what I've got I suppose. Is anyone else in the same boat? Have you been to a wedding where the bridesmaids were severely outnumbered by the groomsmen, or vice versa? ...Would anyone ever think "boy, she must have no friends!"?
Posted by Marth85[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It is perfectly fine to just have your sister, and I know that I definitely would not think that you had no close friends if you just had your sister. You may want to reconsider asking your FSIL though, just because some families consider siblings in the wedding party to be a must.</div><div>
</div><div>You really don't need to be thinking about it now though. First get engaged. </div><div>
</div><div>If/when that happens then wait until you are about 8 months out from the wedding to ask anyone. If anyone asks who your attendants are, just say that you haven't decided anything yet and are enjoying being engaged.

</div>

saxy414

First of all, there's no problem with only having your sister stand on your side.  Do you have brothers or close guy friends?  You don't have to only have females on your side--just whoever is closest to you.  Going along with that, the sides don't have to be even.  NBD if your FI has 3 guys--if you're worried about how it will look at the altar, just have the rest of the WP sit during th ceremony and just have your MOH/sister and his BM stand next to you two.

But really, don't worry about this now!  You're not engaged yet...there's a little bit of "cart before the horse" happening here.  You don't need to decide on BMs until 8ish months out.  Just see where things go with your friendships in the next several months.

emilykathleen511

<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">[QUOTE]Thanks for responses though I'm a little surprised it's found to be odd I am thinking about this now, we are being realistic about the wedding, a ring is all we are really waiting on to be completed.<div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">I think I'll just be vague or say it's a simple wedding to anyone who asks, though it is a little upsetting I don't have a few friends to be bridesmaids. I am hoping someone else will chime in that is in the same situation.[/QUOTE]</div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">
</div><div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-size:12px;vertical-align:baseline;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">Well if you are both in agreement about your relationship status and both consider yourselves engaged and are basically just waiting to announce it until you have the ring, I guess I don't see a big issue with that. You should know though, that there are definitely women out there who are not quite where you are and try to plan their wedding when they think they might be getting engaged soon.</div></span>

mbcdefg

I, personally, don't judge a bride by how few bridesmaids she has. In fact, the more bridesmaids someone has, the more I tend to think, "Geez, is she REALLY friends with all these chicks, or is she just trying to show off?"

Plus, read through all these boards a while and you'll read posts from people complaining about how stressful, and expensive, having a bunch of bridesmaids can be.

I had my sister and my friend since high school. My husband had his best friend from high school, and my brother. That was it. Nobody said a word about it, we kept on a nice tight budget with only four people, and it made it a snap to arrange the limo and reception seating arrangements and find gifts for everyone.

I don't think anyone's ever posted here, "I really wish I'd had more bridesmaids." VERY often, we see posts saying, "I wish I hadn't asked so many people."

bablingbrooke

Having just your sister is great; I think it's just lovely and I, too, tend to judge brides with huge WPs.  You'll save yourself a ton of headaches and make the wedding a more intimate experience.  

And no, you don't need a ring to be engaged--just an agreement between you and your FI to get married.

orangecrush32

I don't think there's anything wrong with just having your sister. Don't feel too badly about the friend situation. I will end up with 3 BMs, but 2 of them are my sisters. I only have one girl I consider a close friend and I wouldn't trade her for anyone.

Marth85

<div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dont-friends-bridesmaids-anyone-else-same?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c0b00689-99ca-43b4-ac7b-3d7c7e55ceb0Post:619ee173-5aed-4de0-9d29-17572abcaffa">Re: I don't have any friends to be bridesmaids... anyone else the same?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well if you are both in agreement about your relationship status and both consider yourselves engaged and are basically just waiting to announce it until you have the ring, I guess I don't see a big issue with that. You should know though, that there are definitely women out there who are not quite where you are and try to plan their wedding when they think they might be getting engaged soon.
Posted by emilykathleen511[/QUOTE]

<div>I can imagine! I know I didn't give a ton of detail about that in particular in my post so I had deleted that comment, I'm just so curious about this BM business! I certainly have had this bridesmaid thing on my mind since long before we were engaged. I always have thought about the fact I felt I really wouldn't have anyone else up there with me... I just always thought about it from time to time.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm liking that a couple of you said a lot of BMs can be more of a headache, that makes me feel better! Though I'm still a bit bummed out that outside of it I don't have the close friends.</div><div>
</div><div>A wedding I was in, I was surprised because it seemed 2 girls the bride wasn't very close with. Me included (this is the future SIL I'm talking about)</div><div>
</div></div></div></div></div>

mbcdefg

Don't forget that if you have brothers or close male friends, they can stand for you, too.

But don't ask someone to stand for you just to bulk up the numbers. PLENTY of brides have one, two or even zero attendants.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dont-friends-bridesmaids-anyone-else-same?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c0b00689-99ca-43b4-ac7b-3d7c7e55ceb0Post:e233b5d4-9531-423f-8e98-3f1ce8afc63d">Re: I don't have any friends to be bridesmaids... anyone else the same?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to  Re: I don't have any friends to be bridesmaids... anyone else the same? :  A wedding I was in, I was surprised because it seemed 2 girls the bride wasn't very close with. Me included (this is the future SIL I'm talking about)
Posted by Marth85[/QUOTE]
Which is why I think you need to go with your gut and just ask your sister.  It adds nothing to the experience to have a bunch of warm bodies with whom you have little or no connection just so your wedding has a certain look.  Put substance before style; you won't regret it.

CaylaSummer

Hey there,

I know one bride who didn't have a wedding party. She is super busy so she didn't bother to even ask anyone. I'm not sure if she has tonnes of friends or not but I don't think that really matters. 

 Trust me keep your BP small. I have 5 girls and I wish I had only ask 3. Just think about how much money you have to spend for their bouquet, gifts and on top of that to try to get them all to agree on a dress and fitting time is a real pain.

Although I can't relate but I do understand that  how you're feeling is maybe beyond just the number. It is nice to have that support and just talking a wedding stuff with your friends.   

junebug62511

Same boat. My fiance is my best friend and I spend all my time with him. I am just lucky enough to have family that I could ask to be in the wedding-sisters, cousins, sister-in-law. I think its more meaningful to include family anyway than asking some girlfriend who I barely talk to.