When did you ask your Bridesmaids?

MrsP2b2011

Did you officially ask people to be bridesmaids or did it just come up in conversation?  Is it customary to ask right after you get engaged or wait?  I know who I want to be in my wedding but it is in 2011, so I did not know if I should ask now or wait.

mbcdefg

This thread may be helpful for you: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_question-waiting-pick-wedding-party

jagore08

You should wait until this summer to ask anyone.  All of my BM knew they would be in the WP because they're my (or like my) sisters and I'm very close to them so I asked right away. I was also getting married in just over a year and most of our BP needed to purchase plane tickets so I wanted them to save up for it too.

CTGirl30

Definately wait until you're closer - 6 to 9 months out is a good rule of thumb.  It's tempting to ask right away when you're caught up in the moment of just being engaged, but there's really no real advantage or benefit to asking early. Most of the complaints on this board are from girls who asked really early on - no harm comes from waiting. Promise.

My wedding is May 2010 and I waited to ask my girls until I think it was Oct? So 7 months in my case.  There wasn't really anything for anyone to do early on (they got their dresses in late Nov but we could have done it in like Jan or Feb and they'd have been fine....they have chosen to gift me a shower & bachelorette event so now they're planning those for me so for most of fall and winter there wasn't anything to really worry about).

When the time came, I "officially" asked each girl - individually, either over dinner or over the phone.

quotequeen

Aww, my thread was linked...  like I said there, I asked my MOH right away and we asked the rest of the wedding party a few months later.  I guess I'm not really in the same position as a lot of people who find their friendships falling off and want to kick people out though - FI and I are quiet people who don't have a lot of close friends.  My MOH has been my best friend for a long time, but she now lives across the country and I rarely see her, and don't even talk to her that often.  That isn't a requirement for somebody being my best friend because it's just not the way I am, so as a result, I would never get upset and want to kick somebody out for not talking to me enough, which is the most common reason I have seen.  I also wouldn't want to kick somebody out for not "doing enough" or "being excited enough" for my wedding, since I don't expect them to do anything but show up.

I did ask everybody, but I'm not sure what you mean by officially.  We called each person for that express purpose.

bablingbrooke

I asked about a year out, DH asked his GM about 6 months out.

Don't ask until you have a date.  It's hard to commit to something if you dont' know what it is.