Wedding Party
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What to do with SiL

my fh just asked his half brother, on his mother's side, with whom he's always had a very rocky relationship to be one of the ushers.  now because he's asked his brother , his dad and stepmom want us to put his step sister in the wedding.   FH doesn't like her though, so he wants her to have a very minimal part in our wedding.  Can we have a female usher? It's a Roman Catholic ceremony, but he doesn't really want her anywhere near the ceremony once its really in progress.   They're paying for approximately half the ceremony so, I really want to make this gesture to them but,  I want FH to enjoy the ceremony too.
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Re: What to do with SiL

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    Yes, you can have a female usher.  

    Your FILs have no say in the WP.  Having said that, if not including FSSIL is going to cause major drama, it might be easier just to have her as a BM or GW (groomswoman); I personally advocate having her on your FI's side.  All she has to do is buy the attire and show up, so you don't need to worry about her planning or naysaying anything.  You and your FI know the family dynamics better than I, but just make sure you two take the long view on this before making any decisions: what is the long term effect of having her vs. not having her?
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    Female ushers are acceptable, or she could do a reading.

    Another option is for her to wear a black dress and stand on your FI's side. If you wind up making her a bridesmaid (which you don't have to), her only obligations are to get the dress and show up to the ceremony.

    But I don't get why you don't want her "near the ceremony" in any capacity ... she'll still be attending as a guest, won't she? Are you afraid she'll ruin it?
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    Well, first of all, if you're inviting her, she'll be near your ceremony, so the idea that she won't be "anywhere near your ceremony" is just silly.

    Yes, she can be an usher.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    Female ushers are fine. I've seen it done before and didn't think anything of it.
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    You can have a female usher.  Or she could help with the bringing of the gifts if it's a full Mass.
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    Is your wedding really in 5 weeks?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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