How young is too young to be a flower girl?

flaviapop

I have an adorable soon to be neice who is going to be 1 1/2 on the day of my wedding and my cousin's daughter who is going to be 2. I've asked both the parents to have them as my flowergirls and both were thrilled. Now I'm wondering if that's too young. I would absolutely LOVE it if they stole the show and just ran all over the place, but I don't want to have a situation where they get too distressed by the crowd.

Are they too young to walk down the aisle together? Should I have them be escorted by the last bridesmaid?

bablingbrooke

I think they're too young if they can't 1) understand what their role is and 2) if they can't explain it you in their own words.  Kids that young wont' be able to walk down the aisle without some help and will probably freak out at a lot of strangers; not saying they will, just saying that the odds are in your favor that they will.  Since you've already asked, it wouldn't be right to take it back.  Sounds like you're prepared (hoping?) that they won't be able to do it, so I'd stay the course.

aerinpegadrak

Since you've already asked, I think you just need to have someone appointed to take them out if they freak out during the ceremony, and don't pressure them to go down the aisle.  If they don't want to walk down, perhaps they can be escorted by the previously mentioned appointed person, or you can just skip that bit.  You really aren't going to know how they're going to handle it until you get there, so be flexible and have a plan B.

trix1223

I'm not a fan of children that young having a role in a WP.  As brooke said, my criteria is that they can get down the aisle under their own power, and use words to explain what their role is, and why they're doing it.  I would not care to have toddlers in a WP.

Their only function is the "Awwwwwwwww, look how cute they are!"  and they'll be cute whether they're in the WP or not.

Having said that, you've asked, so now you're pretty much committed to it.  I'd hope that they get down the aisle without a meltdown, which is not at all guaranteed, and then just let them sit with their moms for the rest of the ceremony.

GL

filaw

We had 2 year olds as our ring bearer and flower girl.  The ring bearer's mom walked them both down the aisle in a wagon.  (I know, not a popular idea around here).  They had had plenty of time to get to know each other and the wagon and play in it while their parents wheeled them around, etc., at the rehearsal dinner, so that everyone could feel comfortable.

It wasn't a big deal, they got in the wagon right before (their moms cleverly put some snacks in it) and were happy as clams as they went down the aisle, and then sat with their parents.

I do think that's definitely too young to be unaccompanied, but I wouldn't "take back" the invite, and I think it'll all turn out fine.  Have some combo of their parents walk or carry them down the aisle.  Especially since they're family too, I think that could be nice.

mbcdefg

Ditto PPs ... since you've already asked, it'd be mean to take it back now.

IMO, they're "too young" if they can't walk down the aisle themselves and if they'd be prone to meltdowns/refusing to walk. And if they aren't old enough to speak in fairly full sentences.

However, I'm not that patient with kids when they're not quiet and still, and I'd be super annoyed if a random small kid was in my wedding and cried the whole time, or started puttering around on the altar during my vows.

But I don't have any nieces/nephews or other kids that I'm very close to. If I WAS close to a small kid, I'd probably feel differently and would be willing to overlook those things in order to include a beloved kid. I think your plan to include really small kids is fine, but I personally think it'd be best if someone held their hands and/or carried them down the aisle.

lalap69

You've already asked, so whether they're too young or not doesn't matter.  You have 2 little FGs.

I always believed 3 years was the youngest, but I'm going to be having my 5 month old niece as a FG because it's just not worth fighting with my sister over.  She'd be at the wedding anyway, so if she's being carried down the aisle and called a FG, it doesn't really make a difference to me.

flaviapop

Yea, I would definately not choose to take back my offer. I'm just asking for some suggestions with how best to include them such as whether they need accompanyment.

bablingbrooke

I would not ask the last BM to escort them.  Have a parent do it--they may not react well to being walked by a stranger and the BM signed up to walk down the aisle, not babysit two toddlers.  

mrscarter052011

It depends on the kids.  When my friend asked my daughter to be a flower girl at the age of 2.5, I said sure as long as you're ok with the fact that she's 2.5.  I wasn't sure she would walk down the aisle but we kept it low key like didn't force her and she did great.  Also, I sat near the front on the aisle so she could come to me, she did and she walked right past me and stood by the bridesmaids. 

But, if they do get scared I would have a parent walk them down as Brooke suggested above.