Bachelorette Party, FSIL Under Age

nightmare_of_beauty

My MOH offered to throw me a bachelorette party. She wants to have it at a local island that has a lot of historical stuff, but also has a street of bars.

The only problem is my FSIL (who is in the BP) is 20. MOH wants to make it to be an all day thing and see the sites, but after dinner we'll all be going to have drinks.

I asked my mom for advice and she said to have another party, call that the bachelorette party, and going to the island is just me and my friends going to the island. I don't think it's fair to ask my MOH to throw another party. I don't want to leave FSIL out, but I feel bad that after dinner, she'll basically have to leave (you can't go in the bars if you're under 21).

Any advice?

blackfire5th

I would plan something else after dinner.  I would tell your MOH that including your FSIL is really important to you.  If she still wants to go to the island for drinks, I agree with your mom and not call that your bach party.  You (well, not you) can plan something really low key for your bach party that includes your FSIL, like dinner and then watching a movie, board games, go kart, mini golf, etc.  

nightmare_of_beauty

I feel I have to add this...I'm not a fan of FSIL, I put her in the WP to make things easier rather than listening to her whining and possibly causing problems between me and FMIL.

But I do feel that she's in the wedding party, she should get to enjoy the party.

banana468

It honestly doesn't matter how much you like her at this point.  You asked her to be in the wedding so the party should be something she can actually attend.

emilyinchile

Are there any bars or bar/restaurants that allow under-21s to go in and just not drink? That would be your best bet. Otherwise I'd follow your mom's advice - have a day where you and friends go to the island (they don't have to pay for you) and do something else as your official bach party (which again doesn't have to be super expensive if you're worried about cost for your BMs).

lalap69

I think having her be a part of the whole day and then after dinner being like "sorry FSIL, we're going to the bars, see ya later" would be really mean.  I agree with PPs that you need to accomodate her.