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HELP!! need to pick a MOH, but cant decide!!

ok, so this is my second wedding, and let me start by telling you the crap that came with the first. When it was time to pick my MOH, I had to choose between my gf of almost 20 years (since pre-school) or my friend I met in college who was fast becoming my second half. I ended up choosing the college friend, for my MOH, and figuring the other friend was not a "girly girl" and too into weddings I chose her for my bridesmaid. All was ok until about a week before the wedding, when the bridesmaid freaked and almost dropped out. The wedding went alright (minus the bridesmaid dyeing her hair red the nite before) but the bridesmaid was obviously still pissed, she didnt come to the gift opening or even get us a card or present!! Anyways, now 6 years later, I am divorced, and no longer speak to the person who was my MOH (she married the best man, who she met at my wedding, and since he was the grooms best friend, my ex got them as friends not me) and now the bridesmaid and I talk rarely, I didnt even go to her wedding.

Ok, so now I am getting married again, and again, I have to choose my MOH... I will likely only have one person, and I have to choose. So here are the two I need to choose from. The girlfriend who I got back in touch with (thanks to facebook) just after my divorce, and has been there for me for the past 3 years no matter what, or my sister. My sister (half sister) and I were never close, and again since my divorce we have gotten a lot closer, and she too has been there when I needed her. I want the friend because I feel I should, and shes here in the place I live, but at the same time she was just a MOH, and didnt like it much (she plans to elope when she gets married) and I want my sister, because no matter what, she is my sister, and I love her, and I think my fiancee will end up having his brother, so its a family thing.


SOOOO.... anyone.... pls? Advice? I need help on this!! Thanks!!!!

Re: HELP!! need to pick a MOH, but cant decide!!

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    Your mistake in the first wedding was choosing someone as MOH because you figured she'd be the biggest help. (And I fail to see why the bridesmaid dying her hair red posed a problem. How does her hair color affect your wedding? Unless THAT is what led you guys to get a divorce, then that has no bearing on your life whatsoever.)

    Your MOH should be your best friend. Not the person who lives closest to you, not the person who's the girliest and most into weddings, not the person who'll be the biggest help during the planning. Your absolute best friend.

    If you have two best friends, have two Maids of Honor.

    If you cannot decide who's your best friend, don't have a MOH. Have all bridesmaids. Tell them that you don't want to play favorites and you love them all equally. A MOH is not required.
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    You're not getting married for another year.  Don't choose your WP yet, it's too early.  Also don't choose people for your WP based on what they can do for you.  It should be the person that you feel closest to.  Or have two MOH or none at all.  It really just doesn't matter.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_need-pick-moh-but-cant-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cd82b013-e9eb-457e-9be6-a3c2b79f122cPost:15d0a59f-a4b6-47fd-ba3b-0161cc39313b">HELP!! need to pick a MOH, but cant decide!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok, so this is my second wedding, and let me start by telling you the crap that came with the first. When it was time to pick my MOH, I had to choose between my gf of almost 20 years (since pre-school) or my friend I met in college who was fast becoming my second half. I ended up choosing the college friend, for my MOH, and figuring the other friend was not a "girly girl" and too into weddings I chose her for my bridesmaid. All was ok until about a week before the wedding, when the bridesmaid freaked and almost dropped out. The wedding went alright (minus the bridesmaid dyeing her hair red the nite before) but the bridesmaid was obviously still pissed, she didnt come to the gift opening or even get us a card or present!! Anyways, now 6 years later, I am divorced, and no longer speak to the person who was my MOH (she married the best man, who she met at my wedding, and since he was the grooms best friend, my ex got them as friends not me) and now the bridesmaid and I talk rarely, I didnt even go to her wedding. Ok, so now I am getting married again, and again, I have to choose my MOH...<strong> I will likely only have one person,</strong> and I have to choose. So here are the two I need to choose from. The girlfriend who I got back in touch with (thanks to facebook) just after my divorce, and has been there for me for the past 3 years no matter what, or my sister. My sister (half sister) and I were never close, and again since my divorce we have gotten a lot closer, and she too has been there when I needed her. I want the friend because I feel I should, and shes here in the place I live, but at the same time she was just a MOH, and didnt like it much (she plans to elope when she gets married) and I want my sister, because no matter what, she is my sister, and I love her, and I think my fiancee will end up having his brother, so its a family thing. SOOOO.... anyone.... pls? Advice? I need help on this!! Thanks!!!!
    Posted by ckjs1[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I can't believe you are still butt-hurt about her not buying you a gift.  Greedy much.</div><div>
    </div><div>As for the bold part.  Are you saying that you only want one MOH or only one attendant?  If it's the later, don't let numbers get in the way of relationships.  Have both your friend and sister stand up with you.  It's also okay to have uneven sides so it's okay if your FI only wants his brother.

    </div>
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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    I have two MOH. I couldn't decide and those two were the ones I wanted...so I just have both of them working together!
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    Have two MOH and no BM.

    Your previous MOH not getting you a card or gift is irrelevent.  We had WP members who didn't give us a card or gift, but obviously they cared about us enough to be in the wedding.
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