Asymmetric Bridal Parties?

kpachla

Starting to think about the BP and we are having issues with it!  We've had a number of friends throughout the years that we would love to have involved in our wedding, but where to draw the line gets rough.

We've got some friends that are closer to me and where I would include the guy in my side, but she's not close enough to the girl to put in her side (though we are close as friends).

We've got some friends that invited her to be in their wedding by not me, despite being close friends.

So we're thinking of doing just siblings to have a set policy that isn't contestable - but the issue is I have one brother and she two sisters.  We'd anticipate having all of our other friends that would be in the Bridal Party typically helping out with something else to let them know that they are important in our lives.

Is asymmetry ok?  The other issue is she's much closer to her sisters than I with my brother, so that also presents a unique issue.

Any thoughts would be very welcome.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_asymmetric-bridal-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfb8ff10-178d-4b57-b340-bbbecda842ebPost:141c1c73-2e98-4e26-98c3-f031eb4994ec">Asymmetric Bridal Parties?</a>:
[QUOTE]Starting to think about the BP and we are having issues with it!  We've had a number of friends throughout the years that we would love to have involved in our wedding, but where to draw the line gets rough. We've got some friends that are closer to me and where I would include the guy in my side, but she's not close enough to the girl to put in her side (though we are close as friends). We've got some friends that invited her to be in their wedding by not me, despite being close friends. So we're thinking of doing just siblings to have a set policy that isn't contestable - but the issue is I have one brother and she two sisters.  <strong>We'd anticipate having all of our other friends that would be in the Bridal Party typically helping out with something else to let them know that they are important in our lives. </strong>Is asymmetry ok?  The other issue is she's much closer to her sisters than I with my brother, so that also presents a unique issue. Any thoughts would be very welcome.
Posted by kpachla[/QUOTE]
The very first thing on the page: "Are uneven wedding parties okay? (Yes!)"  Mixed gender parties are also okay.  It's not about numbers, or genders, or who was in whose wedding, or anything but each of you choosing the people you're very closest to to stand at your sides.<div>
</div><div>I'd be wary of the bold part, though.  Guest is an honor, too, and you shouldn't assume that anyone will be helping with anything unless they volunteer, regardless of their title.  After all, if they were really all that important to you, you'd find a way to put them in the WP and figure out the logistics later.</div>

Maggie0829

1)  The groom picks his side and the bride picks her, regardless of who the other picks.  Weddings are not tit for tat.  Your wedding part should consist of who you are nearest and dearest with

2)  Uneven sides is perfectly fine.

3)  You do not have to include both parts of a couple in the wedding party if you are not close with them.  It is perfectly fine to ask only the guy from a couple to be in the wedding party and not his SO.

Ask yourself this question, who, regardless of age or gender, could you not imagine not having standing up next to you on the day you get married?

Peledreamsofrain

Even wedding parties are a holdover from the days when people thought women would break or get lost if not escorted by a man.  Since this is not the case, focus on the more important element: who do you want up there with you?

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_asymmetric-bridal-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfb8ff10-178d-4b57-b340-bbbecda842ebPost:141c1c73-2e98-4e26-98c3-f031eb4994ec">Asymmetric Bridal Parties?</a>:
[QUOTE]  We'd anticipate having all of our other friends that would be in the Bridal Party typically helping out with something else to let them know that they are important in our lives.Posted by kpachla[/QUOTE]

Important, but not important enough to make the wedding party cut?

kpachla

In Response to Re:Asymmetric Bridal Parties?:[QUOTE]In Response to Asymmetric Bridal Parties?:nbsp;nbsp;We'd anticipate having all of our other friends that would be in the Bridal Party typically helping out with something else to let them know that they are important in our lives.Posted by kpachlaImportant, but not important enough to make the wedding party cut? Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

That's right. If our wedding party is our siblings, then there isn't a "wedding party cut" just our family and the friends are involved in another way.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_asymmetric-bridal-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfb8ff10-178d-4b57-b340-bbbecda842ebPost:bbd7ff6e-31fd-43a9-b06e-91fe169058ca">Re:Asymmetric Bridal Parties?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Asymmetric Bridal Parties?: That's right. If our wedding party is our siblings, then there isn't a "wedding party cut" just our family and the friends are involved in another way.
Posted by kpachla[/QUOTE]

But what other ways are you talking about, like readers and ushers, or possibly you have musically talented friends who could play during the ceremony?  If these are the ways then ok, but anything else, like guestbook attendants, cake cutters, handing out programs, etc are crap jobs that no one should ever be asked to do.

kpachla

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_asymmetric-bridal-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfb8ff10-178d-4b57-b340-bbbecda842ebPost:dc31fb81-f559-4d59-873a-096e650ca44a">Re:Asymmetric Bridal Parties?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Asymmetric Bridal Parties? : But what other ways are you talking about, like readers and ushers, or possibly you have musically talented friends who could play during the ceremony?  If these are the ways then ok, but anything else, like guestbook attendants, cake cutters, handing out programs, etc are crap jobs that no one should ever be asked to do.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>I see the confusion.  It would be in the former ways that you mentioned, we do have musically talented friends (harpist + singers + paino players) and very eloquent friends for readings, so I'm certain we'd find something for them to be involved in that would in fact be meaningful.</div>

StephBeanWed61502

Everything everyone has already said, but also wanted to add that if you have a good photographer, s/he'll pose the group so well in pictures that you literally won't even notice the asymmetry.  Our photographer showed us a sample album where the bridal party included 14 (yes, 14) women on the bride's side, and only 4 men on the groom's.  I swear, the pictures were staged so well I hardly noticed until the photographer pointed it out to us.

partease

ok but if possible stand only one sister because it somewhat looks awkard... But if not posssible don't her any of her sisters and let them stands together...