Too 'Matchy' BM gift?

daniellemarie13

I know that I'm supposed to 'shop like it's their birthdayday', and when I started doing that, I kept picking out similar items (way different styles) for my BMs. I don't want to be too matchy matchy, but we are all very similar and love the same things, so when I would shop for their bdays, we would usually do accessories, shoes, purse, etc. Would it be okay if everyone got this (only VERY different styles for each person): a fashion purse, with one article of jewelry (a ring for a few, then a necklace for others), then one small personal item like a pair of sandals, book, etc. in each person's gift? (*NONE of the items are to be used in the actual wedding). I just don't know if its frowned upon to give the same thing TYPE of thing to everyone (all 5 will get a purse). What do you think?

gottahavashorti

You shopped like it was their birthday.  You're thinking about their tastes, not a canned BM gift that none or one might like.  They have similar taste and you're still personalizing the individual items, so you're golden.

If you said "I want to get them a purse, necklace and book" and one never wore jewelry and another only carried neutral colored tote purses and you were getting all of them a red clutch, that would be another story.

aerinpegadrak

My attendants all did get the same gift, a leatherbound copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales.  I share with all of them a mutual love of both Disney and literature, and I knew they'd all like it.

It's not necessarily frowned upon to get them matching gifts.  It's frowned upon to get them all matching gifts that don't take them into account as individuals.  If what you're planning is the sort of thing you'd gladly give each of them for a birthday or Christmas, you're good.

quotequeen

It wouldn't even be a problem to give them identical gifts, if you honestly believed that each of them would love it.

bablingbrooke

I think it's fine.  I usually give my friends the same "type" of gift, just personalized.  Example: A book plus a gift card.  I don't get them the same book and gift card, I give them books they'd enjoy plus a gift card to the place they love.  They love to read and like the places the gift cards are for, so it works.

If they like the same type of thing, go for it.  The reason people say, "Don't do matchy-matchy gifts" is that brides will often get four identical pink monogrammed tote bags with identical pieces of jewelry (to be worn in the wedding, of course).  Should the BMs accept the gift gracefully?  Of course.  But if you wouldn't shop like that anyway, why do it for the wedding?  See the difference?

KRHagen

I think your are doing a great job. Don't get hung up on what's said on here. If your girls will like it, then do it. I bought my girls thing for them and things for them to wear in the wedding (PIB). They loved it. It should NEVER be about what strangers online think. It should be about making you and your BMs as happy as can be.

bablingbrooke

Something to wear in your wedding isn't a gift to them, it's a gift to you.  Of course they told you to your face they loved it; a bride once gave me jewelry I could never wear again for a wedding gift (it was of course to be worn in the wedding) and I gushed over it, but it's been three years and I never use it.  Just be aware it's not a gift for them.  It would have been going above and beyond the bare minimum to get them something in addition to the jewelry.

Angrytomato

When my sister got married, she gave us BM gifts of jewelry to be worn in the wedding. I wear mine all the time still. It was a beautiful gray freshwater pearl necklace with swarovsky crystals.

I absolutely agree that if all your bridesmaids love the gift, it's ok for it to match. You know your BMs likes and dislikes.

I have 4 BMs for my upcoming wedding, and I have no idea what to buy them. They are all such different girls.

Faye&Conrad

That sounds great and like you are really taking into account the things they like and their personal styles. I was the MOH for my best friend and all we got was the necklace and earring set that we were to wear in her wedding....she was real inconsiderate to the whole BP throughout the whole thing though..