Appropriate WP Gift Budget?

augurey

I've only ever been in 1 wedding ever (when I was 11); FI has been in a lot more, so I pretty much relied on him for the WP gift budget.

Our wedding party is my brother, his 2 sisters and his brother. We figured $100 per for the gifts; so a total of $400.

With us closing on a house here within less than a month left, we did a spreadsheet of our budget with our bills for the house.

We're going to be on a very tight budget until the wedding (very tight, but it'll still work out)  - it's our guest list that's killing us (and we already trimmed down as much as we possibly can as FI's family is monstrouly enormous).

I was discussing the budget with my mom (she's contributing as much as she can - not much, but every little bit helps which we are very grateful for!). She seemed really shocked when she found out we were doing $100/person and said that $25 would be sufficient enough.

 $25 sounds too little to me, but I also think $100, while it'd be nice if we could do that, might just be slightly too much. I feel like $75 might be a little more doable - but then again, the extra $100 might not really make a difference in our monthly budget for the wedding.


While I realize this will probably be a "do what you can afford" type of thing, but I'm curious as to what others think is an appropriate amount to spend on WP gifts.

banana468

IMO, it really varies.

And while I don't think the cost of a gift should be a 'pay for what your BMs have done' thing, I also don't think that $25 gift cards are cool if you know that your BMs are easily out $1000 each to be in your wedding.

The important part is that it's heartfelt and for your BM as if it's their birthday / not for your wedding.

jerzmom114

$100 seems like alot to me! We had a very tight budget when we were planning our wedding, and we have 3 kids so we had to make every penny stretch!! We spent about $25- $30 per person in our WP .And def make the gift personal and heartfelt as PP said

aerinpegadrak

There's always eBay.  The gifts I got for my attendants retailed for around $80, but I was able to score them for around $30 each.  Depends on what you're looking for, of course.  I think DH spent around $60 each on his attendants, but I don't know for sure.  I know he also hit the sales pretty hard.

I do think that you should keep their expense in mind; as Banana said, they're more likely to feel slighted by a lesser dollar amount if they're spending a lot to be in the wedding and if you're spending a lot in other places.  

firsttimersluck

I think 25 is pretty low with all that they have had to buy to be in your wedding.. Our budget was around 100 for each of our six. It ended up being closer to 150 for the girls and 60 for the guys because we got lucky with the prices of the guys' gifts. 

mcskatcat

It really varies.  Like others have said, $25 might be okay in some circles, but if they're traveling and purchasing their own dress I would spend more than that.  We spent about $50 per person but we also paid for their attire.  But everyone had to travel, so it was a tradeoff.  

If you're comfortable with $100, then don't let the salesgirl influence you.  You're BP will appreciate it, and it IS your chance to show them you appreciate everything they've done.  

augurey

Thanks for the suggestions!

They shouldn't have to really pay too much - well, I guess I can't really say that because it might be a lot for what their budget allows or it might not be anything. Thankfully, no traveling! But I feel awkward about finances, so if it were up to me, I'd rather them pay as little as possible (which I'm trying to do).

We would definitely like to do fun gifts (from what I've heard growing up, the norm for the girls is jewelry - which meh, might be nice for some, but I don't think is for everyone). I think it's more of a tradition in FI's family, which I like. I have a decent idea on things that they both like - I definitely have a lot of time for all of this, but ideally I'd like to shop throughout the year for fun stuff that I find - and actually think this will be kind of fun looking for stuff for them!

I, personally, would feel cheap if we did anything less than $75 - with our budget being so tight, I would feel better doing $75, but things could always change to where we might be able to afford a little more.

I'll definitely keep ebay in mind; I think Amazon might be kind of fun.

Thanks again for the input!

JaxInBlue

Agree that it varies.  I think we spent about $50 on the guys and $75 on the girls.  But I agree with PPs too that there are amazing deals to be had - not just eBay, but through other discount sites.  If you have time, it might not hurt to sign up for a couple of the group coupon/deal sites and see what you can pick up through those.  We bought our parents photobooks after the wedding using Groupons - it helped us save a bit of money on their gift.

lauralaur

We spent $50-$60 per. I think it partially depends on what you are getting them. If you score something awesome that you know they'll love for $30, then great!

libby2483

We are spending about $30-$35 per person.  This is actually higher than average for our circle, so I think it really depends.  And we just closed on our house and our wedding is less than a month away as well, so I definitely know how you feel about money being tight!  

shanliann

id do some investigating and shopping. I found my maid of honor a great watch that was orignally $125 on clearance for 38.
i know she will love it so i had to grab it while i found it at such a great price, i may even save it for her birthday or christmas, point is, great price, she will love it.

if you could find something that your wp would love and for example they would be thrilled to receive a $125 watch, it would help you out to only spend 38, and you wouldn't feel gulity about only spending the $38


So maybe the solution is, get them $100 worth of stuff, at good prices and sales and only spend $50 or less.

Just an idea from a girl who loves a bargain!!

kmmssg

You can make a killing by shopping during the holiday season and shopping for each person like it is their birthday or Christmas.  Please DO NOT do matching gifts.  That is the invention of the wedding industry to get more of your money.

Last November I decided I wanted a few things for the house/kitchen but my budget wasn't playing along very well.  I had my eye on some wine glasses that were 30.00 for 4.  Not a bad price at all.  Thanksgiving week and the first week of December?  Those glasses were 9.99 (and mine!).

If I had a girlfriend who really enjoyed wine, I'd get her some really nice wine glasses and a bottle of her favorite wine.  Maybe someone enjoys reading, or sports, or whatever.  Shop for each person individually during the holidays and you will score big.

Oh - it should never ever be something to be used for your wedding, like jewelry.  Yes, it is traditional in many circles, but think about it.  Why would you give someone something that was to be used (and coordinated with) for your wedding?  That isn't a thank you at all.  Check out the thread on Wedding party about how not to treat a bridesmaid.  She received a bag in the bride's wedding colors - wasn't feeling very thanked at all.

jemmini6

I think an appropriate budget depends on what your WP is spending to be in your wedding.  For example, if you asked them to buy a $350 BM dress, and then gave them a $20 gift, then yeah, that comes off really cheap.  However, if the only spent about $100 on a BM dress, and then gave them a $50 gift, I think that's pretty reasonable.  (not basing it off just dresses alone, but that was an example.)

random4180

We spent about $250 dollars on all our wedding attendants (5 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen, 2 jr. bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, and one ring bearer.) Maybe that's not much to most people but we didn't ask them to do anything besides show up (no dress to buy or tux to rent.) Some of the kids gifts were on sale or bought with groupon coupons or during one of the Knot shop's sales. Both the groomsmen and bridesmaid's gifts were handmade items off etsy and not wedding-related.

I think the budget varies depending on your particular social circle and your financial means; we don't have a lot of money ourselves and we know our attendants will appreciate our gits. I'd go with what you know about your friends and what you think they might find appropriate or innappropriate.

Miss_2010

I am sure it varies.  For the wedding I have stood in, I have had my hair and makeup paid in full as the main gift then a Sephora bridal party bubble bath gift as a "small extra gift" which i thought was way over the top, I have stood for 2 people who gave no gift (and I didn't think anything about that nor did I expect anything) and my SIL and brother gave about a $5-$10 gift with no thank you note. 

Varies greatly. 

theponz512

Whatever is in your budget is what you spend. If your able to spend 100, then you can spend that. If not, spend what you can. The price tag isn't what matters, the meaning and thought behind it is.