I got fired? What now?

jenmitens

I need some advice ladies:

So three years ago my best friend (of about 15 years) was getting married.  I was asked to be her MOH.  I lived about 4 hours away from her, so I couldnt just go out to lunch or dinner whenever to talk about the wedding, but we talked on the phone.  And I was planning showers and bachlorette parties with her other BMs.

I had driven to see her one weekend, so I could order my dress, (which was an additional hour and a half drive from her house so a total of 5.5 hours in the car one way)  On the way home, she brought up how she really didnt want my boyfriend (of 4 years) to come to the wedding.  She didnt really like him.  (she hadnt really hung around him much, as he lived where I had moved to.  But as girls do, we only talked about our SO when they made us mad.  So frankly, I had the same opinion of her DH)  We got into it, and talked it out, and came decided that we would tell each other all the good stuff about our SO too, not just when they were being difficult. 

About three months later, she came to visit me, for a completely seperate event, it was a college alumni event.  It had nothing to do with weddings, and we didnt really talk much about her wedding that weekend.  Well about a week later, she calls me up and kicks me out of her wedding.  ( I still got an invite though, which I declined)  I was heartbroken.  She said I wasnt really invested in her wedding, and we didnt talk about it enough, and I wasnt planning anything for her (I just didnt tell her that I was, hello?  SUPRISE!). 

She got married, and replaced me with one of the other BM.  I sent her an email a few weeks later saying congrats, and I wish her and her DH a lifetime of happiness.  She said she wanted to be friends again, it didnt work.  No matter what I did or said, she would just argue with me about anything and everything. (even who my friends were on Facebook)

Fast forward 3 years, I've gotten married (to the guy she didnt want at her wedding), and she sends me a card, saying I'm sorry, lets be friends again, etc...

My question is How do I put it all behind me.  I felt betrayed, and there are still a lot of hurt feelings between us.  I dont even know if it's worth it in the long run. 

I hope that made sense, I tried to cram the basics into the post. 
Thanks!

mattycam

I believe some people are meant to be in your life forever and some people are meant to be in your life for a season. I am so sorry to hear this is how your friendship of 15 years ended but that just comes to show that not everyone is who you think they are. You can forgive someone without letting them back into your life again and as Tricia put  it "You are much better without toxic people in your life."

LD1970

Wow, yeah, I'd tell the wench to take a hike.

jenmitens

Thanks!  I do what I can.  :-)

All of you ladies are right, I really just need to leave her in the past, where she belongs.  I think she's just lost a lot of friends (shocker, I know!) and is trying to get any back that she possibly can.  Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, I will not be one of them.

bablingbrooke

Hope this changes a few minds from brides who think that the ditched friend will "just understand" or that a wedding that looks perfect is worth all the hurt feelings.

I think you're making the right call.