My basic question is: Is it ever rude to have a rehearsal dinner?
My venue kind of requires/strongly recommends having a rehearsal, which we have booked for late afternoon (around 5:00). We have also scheduled a very small rehearsal dinner afterwards, for just the bridal party/those at the rehearsal. We have told those involved, we would need them at the rehearsal (which to us just makes sense), and then there is a rehearsal dinner to follow, that my fiance and I are hosting - no one else will be paying a dime that night, including for alcohol. Admittedly, when we sent out the information for the rehearsal and dinner, we were making an assumption that everyone would want to come (it's only about 20 people, including us... not a big deal, basically just a large dinner at a decent restaurant), as for the vast majority of the people coming are our family members who will be meeting for the first time, from opposite sides of the world, it seems pretty standard to have a little get together so they can mingle.
The second part of our story is our venue happens to be Disneyland. We have been told by some of my family members (not his), that this is rude to expect people to come to a dinner, when they will obviously prefer to go into the parks (the dinner is in Downtown Disney, very close to the parks, and all of these guests will be in Disneyland area for about 5 days, so they have plenty of time to go in other evenings and days). One family member has even told me that I can't expect people to act like robots and do whatever I want them to... Because I'm organizing a rehearsal dinner. I've been told that those with children (ages 6-14) should definitely not be expected to do this as 'how can they keep their children entertained' for 1.5-2 hours...
I'm stressing beyond belief about this, as I have really really been trying to avoid being a 'Bridezilla' and now I am being told because (what I feel is trying to do something nice), I am being told is downright rude and unreasonable.
On top of that, some of these guests have indicated that as a result of us interrupting their night (yes, they have shown us how our rehearsal dinner interferes with their plans for that day) they would like to leave early, so they can catch the fireworks display in Disneyland. To me, that is rude, but very few people on my side of the family are seeing it that way, and they are seeing us as being unreasonable.
I'm starting to believe that we really are out of line, but it still feels so insulting to be told that us paying over $1,000 to feed our family is being rude and unreasonable.
Please help :-/ I have been in tears about this multiple times this week...
