Wedding Party
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well..

Sorry it was so long...venting.
Thanks for advice...

Re: well..

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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    I can't read this.  Please edit and use the return key it so it forms paragraphs.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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    My eyes hurt from reading all of that.

    I would just say to let it go.  It's all over now.

    If she seems ok now, then just let it all go.  There's no reason to keep a grudge about this.

    image
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    edited June 2010
    CN: OP paid for MOH's dress and flight from Louisiana to CA.  MOH flew in on Wednesday before the wedding....attending all pre-wedding activities (bach party, rehearsal dinner, etc)  MOH acted distant at all events until wedding day.  OP talked to MOH one on one after RD to see what was bothering her, but did not get much of a response.

    MOH got into a fight with her H at the reception. OP feels that was disrespectful.

    MOH acts like things are fine now that she is back in Louisiana.  OP is unsure if she should continue the friendship.

    EDIT: Suz's cliffnotes are better than mine. :)
    image
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    Take out "matron of honor" from the title. None of this has anything to do with her being your MOH. This is a friend issue.

    From what I understood, your friend was snotty to you and some other friends. She then had a disagreement with her husband in front of some other adults. The second one to me is none of your business. The first one is your business, since it actually affected you, and it sounds like she's just chosen to let it go rather than apologize, whether because she didn't want to say sorry or saw no reason to. The question is whether in the normal course of your friendship you would call her on something like this and want to talk it out or whether you'd just let it go as water under the bridge. Do whatever you'd normally do. Don't bring your wedding into it because it's not at all about your wedding beyond the fact that it happened to occur on the days around that time.

    Oh, and focus on being a happy newlywed instead of looking for WP drama after the fact!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_matron-of-honor-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d9a22731-2be5-4190-95cb-23b81f1b2543Post:93b44a8a-0e0a-4326-8feb-970009756f82">Matron of Honor drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]I got married last month and my matron of honor was a friend I've known since we were 14 years old...she is like a sister to me. I was so excited to know I would have her stand by my side on my special day! She lives in Louisianna and the wedding was in CA, knowing her husband got laid off 8 months before I paid for her dress and her & her husband flight to CA to help her out. We planned a weekend of events for our wedding...Thurs. was my bachelorette night-we went to Hollywood and the guys took my hubby to Vegas; Fri. we had our rehearsal dinner at Dave & Busters and then Sat. was the wedding!  Well there was a total of 8 girls that went to Hollywood (myself, my mom, hubby's mom, my cousin, our best man's wife, my moh, two sis-in-laws) and since everyone had met Wed. I just knew we would all be ok as far as socializing...well I was wrong. Everything was going great until I started walking with our best man's wife (arms linked together) on Hollywood Blvd..See, our best man is a friend we've known since high school...and I had met his wife twice before the wedding and she didn't know anyone there so I was talking with her and we were chatting about how cool it is that our husbands are best friends and how we have so much in common..etc...well my moh starts yelling stuff like "there they are walking ahead of everyone again!", "They're walking off together ignoring us!"...just immature stuff like that...we heard her but were like whateva she's just drunk...well the next morning my moh had this attitude...(fyi: I got so wasted I barely remember much after hollywood blvd and I had a hangover) so she pretty much was quiet and when I asked her a question she said "Oh now you're talking to me" All of us girls looked at each other like we couldn't believe how immature she was being...well before we got ready to go to rehearsal dinner and my parents surprised me by having my god mother and sister flew out...so when I saw my god-sister I began crying b/c we haven't seen each other in a while and she couldn't be in my wedding party b/c she wasn't sure she would make it...everyone noticed after my god-sister arrived my moh really started acting funny...at rehearsal dinner she didn't talk and when my sis-in-law(also my wedding planner) tried to ask her something about the wedding she brushed her off...While all of us walked around playing games after dinner and rehearsing...she didn't play and didn't talk...and had this mean look on her face the entire time...I didn't say anything to her...b/c in my mind she was not going to ruin my night...everyone was having a great time talkin to each other and getting know each other and she was being bitchy to them!! Her husband was even walking around talking to everyone..Well that night was our last night before the wedding and all of us girls stayed at a rental house, we were steaming our dresses, putting bouquets together, and talking about what to do the next day...well she was sitting on a couch away from everyone and my mom asked her what's wrong she says nothing...my cousin asked her what's wrong...she says nothing...She stayed with me in the master room and before we went to bed I asked her "what's the problem...you've been acting mean and antisocial and everyone noticed... so what's the problem...?" (I didn't want to talk about it in front of everyone or seem like I'm puttin her on the spot) I even asked her does she feel like I'm ignoring her b/c I'm not trying to...I thought I did a pretty good job and spending time with everyone! She says nothing and spends the rest of the night texting her husband.. by the morning of the wedding she was acting like nothing happend...talking to us and helping out with stuff. However when the reception starts she got wasted before the toasts and cake was cut...which is fine...but she got into a fight with her husband in front of my parents-in-laws friends...I missed it b/c I was outside saying bye to some guests...but everyone else saw and heard and told us how disrespectful they thought it was...The next morning after our wedding we all went to breakfast-minus my moh and her husband b/c their flight left early...I was asked by everyone what was up with my best friend...is she a jealous friend? Why was she so mean to some of them? She pretty much gave them a bad 1st impression! Now that the wedding is over and she is back home she has been acting like nothing happend....I haven't felt like talking to her...I can't believe the one person who was supposed to be by my side and make sure I'm happy for that weekend was the one pissing me off the whole time...I wouldn't be so mad at her if everyone didn't notice...but she was so rude to ppl I love and care about! Then she has the nerve to ask them to be her friend on Facebook...wow...you didn't even talk to them while they were in your face...so why act like you're their friend now. My sis-in-law told me that the only thing she could think of why my moh acted like that is b/c she probably had in her own mind thought we would spend more time together just me and her....which I understand but that's no excuse! And now I've been feeling like we will not be friends like we used to be....now I'm stuck with what shoud I do...I don't know if I should bring it up or just not worry about it...but I'm personally hurt b/c I would never do that. I have visited her in her town and met her best friends and I didn't act like that...I talked to them and even stay in contact with some of them....so I guess I'm just wondering how to deal with this friendship from here.... Sorry this was so long but I've been needing to vent for three weeks now...and I just need some advice from others!!
    Posted by KrissyPeel[/QUOTE]
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    For starters ... =/= ? or .

    Paragraphs are your friend. This all starts running together.

    CN:OP got married a month ago and flew out MOH and Hubby since he lost his job. They all went out and MOH was acting "immature" because she wasn't getting enough attention. Made snotty remarks and was pissy all weekend; she was rude to ppl in wedding and family.  MOH got wasted at reception and got in fight in front of OP's family at end. Now she is Facebook friending them and OP doesn't like it. OP feels relationship will never be like it was because MOH was pissy all wedding weekend. MOH acting like nothing ever happened. OP not talking to her. Friendship advice?

    Advice: Talk to her and go from there. Tell her how you feel and see what she has to say. She might have been immature at your wedding but now you are being immature by not telling her how you feel.


    Anniversary
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    Wow, that was really long.  I admit up front to giving up on reading it all.

    Having said that:  are you still married?  Happily? 

    Then why does all the silliness that happened matter?  Let it go.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    This is why people shouldn't get drunk.
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    You can't control who becomes facebook friends.

    That's all I've got.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_matron-of-honor-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d9a22731-2be5-4190-95cb-23b81f1b2543Post:61621b06-9b73-4de7-9f9f-cbac23ed9ba8">Re: Matron of Honor drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is why people shouldn't get drunk.
    Posted by jenn.daniel[/QUOTE]

    No, it's why people shouldn't be idiots. Being drunk doesn't make you an ass, and being sober doesn't make you a good friend.
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    You were quoted. Deleting makes you look like a child who didn't hear what she wanted so she took her ball and went home. FYI for future posts.
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    FYI emily...i got the advice i needed from suz...
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    Krissy, the reason for not deleting is that, believe it or not, you're not the only person who may have a similar issue here.  Another bride, who is feuding with a friend can read your post, the replies, and perhaps get some help or advice from your situation.

    When you DD, you look , whether it's right or not, like a whiny little kid who doesn't hear what she wants, so she takes her dolls and goes home.

    You're new here.  I just wanted to fill you in on the "etiquette" of the boards.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    I don't see anything wrong with getting my advice and moving on...I don't appreciate being called names for deleting my post.....I have been on other boards and haven't had a problem so thanks for telling me how it is on this board.
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    Ditto Emily and Trix - just b/c you get the advice you need (but didn't want to hear, in some cases) isn't a good reason to delete your original post. And as Trix pointed out, your issue & the subsequent replies may very well help someone else reading these boards...this isn't meant to "bash the newbie" but more so you understand why people hate to see DD's (not just on this board but accross TK):

    (a) it's a moot point if you've already been quoted.

    (b) people get irritated for taking time to write out a response and then the original post is wiped out. A good way to guarentee nobody rushes to respond to your next question.
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    Just out of courtesy to others who posted and those looking at past threads, don't delete.  If you have a topic that you know is sensitive and you might regret posting, then tell us right off the top that you might delete and to please not quote from it.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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    Krissy, it's considered rude and discourteous to the people who gave you advice to delete your original post or to modify it in any way.  That's a fairly universal rule on all boards on TK.

    Beyond that, deleting your post means that anyone who has a similar issue won't be able to see what others have advised.

    There is nothing wrong with getting your advice and moving on - but that can be done in a post within the thread.  There's no need to alter your original one to make it appear as it "went away".  This is particularly unnecessary as many posts are quoted anyway. 

    Just something to know for the future.
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    Why can't you get advice and move on without deleting your post?
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