Reader attire?

sweetpea0911

Haha, I know the subject probably rings the bridezilla alarms bells, which is why I'm counting on you girls to help me avoid it.  J's brother Eric is his best man.  We have asked Sarah, Eric's long term girlfriend, to be our reader.  I also wanted to extend the offer to Sarah to get the same dress as the bridesmaids (my sister and J's sister) are wearing.  

The only reason I really thought of this is because she's the only one in both immediate families who will not be dressed similar (MOG is wearing a dress like the girls, the girls picked the same dress, and all the boys will be in tuxes with blue ties).  I don't really care WHAT she wears - hell, she could show up half naked in white for as "big" of an impact it would really have on the ceremony - but I thought it might be nice to offer.  Should I just keep my mouth shut?

banana468

Unless you want her to be a BM, I'm going to say no.  It sounds sweet but it can also serve to remind her that she's not in the WP.

skippylouwho

I'm guessing she'd rather not spend the money on a dress she won't wear again. I think you may be in the stage of overthinking things

sweetpea0911

Okay.  I had the overthinking feeling, but thought I would check.  I love Sarah - we're 98% sure that they're going to get engaged before the year is over (Eric took Jordan to look at rings with him!!!) - and I'm so glad she's taking part in the ceremony.

Thanks girls =]

bablingbrooke

You only get a say in what the WP wears.  This does not extend to readers, parents, or anyone else.  No one will look at her and say, "Well, she looks out of place!  The others are wearing periwinkle and she's in cerulean!"  People just don't pay that much attention to the details of a wedding.

mysticl

I've been the reader in a few weddings and no one has ever said a word to me about what I should wear.  If she's in the BM dress I could see your guests muttering about why isn't that one BM up there with the rest of them?

If you want to do something "special" maybe get her a corsage.  I've never been given one as a reader (and didn't mind because I don't really like them), it's not usually on the list of people who get them so it could be a bit of a stand out thing.

trix1223

sweetpea~I'm glad you're heeding the advice of the pps.  I'm with them that it is inappropriate for you to dictate what a reader wears, and even more inappropriate to put someone who's not in the WP in WP attire. 

And I'm glad you like her and hope the engagement comes to pass.  I have both a BIL and a SIL that I think are among the best people I know.  I'm so happy that my brother and sister had the good sense to marry people that I adore. 

sweetpea0911

Thanks for more reenforcement that it's an issue of overthinking - you are all right.  I wasn't even worried about what it looked like, more that I know that what it's like to feel out of place with J's family and since they're all in "wedding related" attire, I didn't want her to feel left out.  She's definitely getting a corsage though, and I know whatever she wears will look perfect on her (she's got fantastic dress sense...I'm making her go shopping with me over her next week break, haha).

Thanks again ladies =]

mbcdefg

I agree with you, don't say anything about her attire.

Ditto on the corsage idea. We gave one to one of our readers (our friend and the Best Man's FI) and she wore it all night, even when she changed outfits between the ceremony and reception.