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small wedding with a lot of close friends

I am having a destination wedding and there will probably only be about 80 people max attending.  My sister would easily be my MOH.  My fiance has two older sisters who I am close with and I have 4 best friends.  I think with the small guest list I would not have this many people people standing.  My fiance has his three best friends that he wants standing.  I could have my sister and two sister-in-laws.  Would that still be too many people?

Second question could I have two flower girls and two ring bearers?  my fiance has 18 nieces and nephews and the two girls will be 5 and boys 4.  I just don't know how to pick one girl and one boy.  I love them all!

Please help
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: small wedding with a lot of close friends

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_small-wedding-lot-of-close-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:dbd11cd5-ee1b-4365-844a-73c02fa5e331Post:594c6734-c3c6-4a96-a1e1-daa8c1ddbcb5">small wedding with a lot of close friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am having a destination wedding and there will probably only be about 80 people max attending.  My sister would easily be my MOH.  My fiance has two older sisters who I am close with and I have 4 best friends.  I think with the small guest list I would not have this many people people standing.  My fiance has his three best friends that he wants standing.  I could have my sister and two sister-in-laws.  Would that still be too many people? Second question could I have two flower girls and two ring bearers?  my fiance has 18 nieces and nephews and the two girls will be 5 and boys 4.  I just don't know how to pick one girl and one boy.  I love them all! Please help
    Posted by KearaRick[/QUOTE]

    <div>Keara, you don't have to include everyone, ESPECIALLY all those kids. I'd make it easier on myself and just invite people as guests. I think having 6 bms (did I count right?) is way too many for an 80 person wedding. That's practically 10% of your guest list. But whatever you want to do I guess...</div><div>
    </div><div>Sides don't need to be even so if your FI only has 2 friends and you have 6, fine, but since you want his sisters in your wedding, they can stand on his side too. </div><div>
    </div><div>But I am going to repeat myself, you don't HAVE to include everyone. Once you get past a certain number, it becomes a circus trying to rally everyone together and follow directions, children and adults alike. </div>
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
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    Also, you don't even NEED ring bearers and flower girls. They are pointless jobs. The only reason for these jobs is to be cute.
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
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    yea I wouldn't have that many.  I was thinking maybe just three on each side.  Is that still too much? I could handle just my sister and then I suppose he could still have his three.  I actually want the four kids in the wedding but I don't know if that is too much.  They will just look so cute.
    BabyFetus Ticker
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    I don't think those are TOO many. Yes they are a lot for that many guests, but it's not like you asked 10 on each side. 

    Again, sides don't need to be even, so stop thinking "3 on each side." Think about "what friends/family do I want up there with us?" Whatever faces come to mind, that's how many people....plain and simple.

    As for the kids, as long as you're cool with dealing with them, go for it.
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    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
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    You CAN have as many or as few as you want.  I personally think that 6 people is too many, especially at a small DW.

    And the kids will still be cute whether they're in the wedding or not.  Take lots of adorable photos with them.  Have a "kiddie dance" with them all around you and your FI.  Then you get the benefit of cute without #1)  singling out 4 of 18 nieces and nephews, and #2) not having to wrangle that many kids during a ceremony.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    You can do whatever you want.

    However, I think it'd be a lot easier if you kept it small. If you only want your sister, then just have her and that's it. Even if your FI has three guys ... you don't need to match his number of attendants. Or ask the sisters-in-law if you want to include them (not because you want to even out the sides). I am sure your friends will understand if you choose to keep it family-only ... they still get to come to the wedding and enjoy themselves as guests, plus you could always ask them to do readings if you want.

    You CAN have flower girls and ring bearers if you want, but personally I would not pick any if I had 18 nieces and nephews. Selecting just two or four out of 18 seems like a nightmare waiting to happen ... hurt feelings, angry parents, drama, blah blah blah. I would just save yourself the trouble and have no children in the wedding party at all. We didn't have a DW but we had no kids in the wedding party, and dealing with adults-only made things SO much easier. The last thing I wanted to do on my wedding day was keep track of a flower girl during our fun photos at the park, or try and coax a crying ring bearer down the aisle.

    image
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    I had a destination wedding with 40 guests and 10 attendants.  That was mainly because we originally asked everyone when we were planning to invite about 175 people.  Honestly, though, I wouldn't have changed it, because it let us draw a very clear line of "we're only inviting immediate family and the wedding party" so our other friends didn't get butthurt about not getting an invitation.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    This resonated with me.
    I'm leaning toward a destination wedding myself- well, it will be for my guests, since my Fi and I recently both moved from OH to FL, and FL is where we'd prefer to have the event.
    Like you, I may have under 100 guests and 6 bridesmaids.
    Just depends how things play out, but bottom line:
    I think if you want to have 6 bridesmaids, 10, or none, it's fine!
    It's entirely up to you, and I see no ettiquette rule being broken.
    These days it seems anything goes anyhow, unless someone is being blantantly ignorant, and you're clearly trying to be as inclusive to as possible.

    Now choosing a flower girl or ring bearer from 18 children?... That spells trouble.
    I'd just avoid assigning duties to any of them because you're asking to upset someone, more likely the eager parents than the children. If it's imporant to you that the children participate in some way, try to have the kids sing a special song, recite a poem, or have a few do a simple reading instead. Or the dance that was mentioned is a really cute idea.

    Good luck!







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