Bridal Show - Can I give them my opinion?

amarch

My bridesmaids offered to throw me a bridal shower (theyre awesome:)), but they don't all know each other and they're having some troubling making decisions (I know this because they all tell me about it....I haven't asked them about plans and am trying to stay out of it as much as possible).

One of them initially suggested having it a tea brunch at a restaurant, and they all agreed (but no reservation has been made yet).  Another one of them recently offerred having it at her place, which I think is an even better idea, especially since I've been worrying about how much they'd end up spending at the tea place.  Now they're all asking me what "we" should do. 

I don't want to get involved in the planning....but is it ok for me end their decision making back-and-forth and just tell them I prefer my friend's house?  I also don't want the friend who first suggested the tea place to feel shot down, since I know she still likes that idea best:(

Thanks!

banana468

Personally, I'd just say, "I think all those suggestions are great.  The last thing I want you to do though is to spend a ton of money!  If that means something at a home, I would just love it!"

And then stay out of it.  :-)

emilyinchile

Ditto Banana. I think that sort of makes it clear that from a money standpoint, you're not expecting some blowout event, but it doesn't diss the more expensive idea.

deepcovejackie

Banana said it just right.  You sound like a considerate bride for being concerned about finances.  :  )

amarch

Banana - Thanks for responding!  I agree, and that's what I said a few weeks ago when they asked me about the tea brunch idea: "That sounds really awesome. As long as everyone is on board and ok with the costs, I know whatever you guys decide to do will be great"...and then changed the topic. 

I said something similar yesterday to my sister/MOH and the friend who offered her place. But today, a couple of them have already (and it's not even 12:30 yet!) emailed or texted me to ask which one they should do.  And the friend who suggested the tea brunch was very defensive of her original idea. 

I guess I just have a bad feeling about my friends getting frustrated with each other over this.  The girl who offered her house just emailed me now (as I'm writing this)..."If you decide you would like to have it at my place could you let everyone know, bc I don't want to step on any toes"  ugh

So do I keep "bean dipping", or step in and say something like "I love both of the ideas you guys came up with, but I would really hate to feel like you guys are spending too much money, so I think having it at BMs house would be perfect"

baystateapple

I think your response is perfect.  If they know you're not expecting a big party, then hopefully nobody will get upset at the BM for having it at her house.

You sound like a very considerate bride.  :-)

banana468

Amarch, that could work too.  The biggest thing i'd do is to be as neutral as possible.  :-)