NWR: F/U sister dating con artist

stina93446

Remember this whole story?

So we've gotten the guy to send us contracts and hopefully he'll sign them so that it says that he will pay us.

In the meantime, it's a legal litigation for us to hang out with him. I called my sister this week (because we're going to visit that area this weekend) and told her "since bf hasn't paid us we can't hang out with him because it'll be telling him that he can screw us out of thousands of dollars but we're still buddy buddy."

My sis said ok, I understand.

I just find out from my mom today that bf is planning on attending our family dinner this Saturday. WTF, DH and me told my parents that we're not coming, or if we come and he shows up, we have to leave. I am so sick of having to tell my parents and my sister that this guy is bad news. They KNOW that he is, they just don't want to pick sides with daughters. I understand, but come on, I can't even look at this guy, I'm so mad.

SarahPLiz

That sucks! Perhaps he is TRYING to make nice with y'all as evidence that the suit is frivolous.
Stick to your guns!

stina93446

Me and DH do not accept any kind of word he says that he is planning to change. We will believe him when we start receiving payment. It sucks because I thought everyone was already on the "he's not invited" boat. We refuse to have dinner with him because that's the opposite message of what we're dealing with him with money.

The honorable thing would be for him to find a reason not to come. I mean, I can't go without my DH. (I don't  WANT to) and I want to see my family. 

emilyinchile

"Hi sis, I don't know what BF told you, but we still can't see him socially. I understand that he's important to you, so if you don't want to go to dinner without him then we'll have to miss out and see you, Mom and Dad some other time. But I'm hoping that you'll explain to him that he needs to stay home and come to dinner by yourself."

And then when she comes to dinner by herself, kidnap her and take her home with you, far from him!

stina93446

haha, Emily. I WISH we could kidnap her. 

bablingbrooke

Hey, it worked for the Ya-Yas!

stina93446

Hmm, interesting...

**Stina prepares her sister sized knapsack**

banana468

So your sister's BF and sister know too?

Then tell sis too:  "As your sister, I just need to let you know that if the BF is there, we can't be there.  I love you and I hate to do this but legally I'm just not going to put myself in that position."

He's got her virginity and your money.  Don't let him take anything else! 

stina93446

banana, exactly that. I told my dad today just about how much this guy owes us and he was in awe. My dad was saying, "I'm going to talk with your mother tonight."

Hopefully, I finally got through to someone.

banana468

It sounds like perhaps at least the older relatives are starting to "get" that this guy is a jerk.

And your sister sounds like she's in the stage where she can't fathom NOT being with the person to whom she lost her virginity because they're so in love and she's an adult...that's at least the impression I get but you can correct me if I'm wrong.  

stina93446

Emily, I'll try my best.

Sister's boyfriend did business with DH. 

DH found out that bf lied about everything and demanded money back.

BF also tells sister lies.

God I suck. This doesn't at all sound like what is happening to me right now.

mags0607

Stina- you aren't the bad guy in this. This isn't a normal situation where you just don't like sister's BF, you legally can't fraternize with him. Congrats, you actually do get to use the "my situation is unique" card legitimately. 

 I know it sucks, but hopefully you got through to your dad, and he will talk sense into your mom or sister. I would call her though and say what pps have written. Make sure that she realizes that her BF coming to dinner means she cuts her time with you short.

I hate dishonest people! Good luck, this is a really tricky situation.

stina93446

So the newest news is this....my dad called me to say that we have a dinner reservation for 4.....my folks, DH and me. My sister and her bf get brunch. 

BF just called to say "Uh, we're not going to come on Saturday because we figured you guys don't get to see the folks that often."

Why did he call? Does he NOT know that my parents are listening to what I tell them?! And no, you're bowing out because you are a fuktard. I keep wanting to chew his little azz out over the phone. I've had it. The last couple of months have all been about HIM. When we went on vacation for xmas, bf was not even there and DH spent the majority of his beach time on the cell trying to get this guy to tell the truth. I broke down in tears on vacay because this guy has totally taken over our lives.

I really hope I can visit my sister. If the bf is there, I have to walk away. I may punch his face in otherwise.

bablingbrooke

Stina, I'm so sorry.  Hopefully when your sister sees that she literally will have to choose between this guy and her family, she'll make the right choice.

mags0607

Stina- Wow, it really seems like this guy is a pain in the ASS. This sucks that you cannot spend time with your sister.

Does your sister live in the same area as your folks? Or are they visiting as well?

Why isn't your sister just coming to the dinner without the BF? Will he not let her spend time with you guys without him there? He sounds like a douche, just watch out for any tricks he might be up to while you gys are there.

banana468

Ugh Stina that's really awful. 

And she doesn't "see" that this is what he's doing?

emilyinchile

I'm glad you get dinner with the parents, but I hope your sister realizes that she can go without him to see you guys.

I also still vote for the kidnapping plan. We can all help brainstorm ideas of the best way to do it. And you're more than welcome in Chile if you need to smuggle her out of the country.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwr-fu-sister-dating-con-artist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ddaaaed6-dc31-426d-8a83-ba2b3d357decPost:fcafecbc-e444-4dfa-99f0-de51bf0d97a2">Re: NWR: F/U sister dating con artist</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, why can't you see him? I get that it is part of the legal stuff, but why does seeing him mean that you don't want your money back? It's not like you want to see him, but I mean, he's dating your sister...it just doesn't make sense to me...also, I've never heard of anything like that. Either way the whole thing sounds very sucky. Good luck this weekend...
Posted by emilykathleen511[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm going to just hazard a guess (see if law school has actually taught me anything).</div><div>
</div><div>Basically, if they spend time with him as her sister's BF and this eventually goes to court, it might look like they weren't aggressively pursuing avenues to get their money refunded.  "Exhausting all available remedies" if you will.  So if they try to sue and he points out "Hey, you still hung out with me, you still saw me, we were friends" it might look like they just jumped to a lawsuit.  </div><div>
</div><div>My guess is stina and her DH were told to treat this purely as a business relationship rather than a family one.  Courts get all wonky when family gets involved--they often assume that things like this are done as favors, not as business transactions.</div><div>
</div><div>Again, my guess.  Stina, Leah and the other real lawyers on here can tell me how off I am (which is probably very, but hey, this is more interesting than the tax code, which is what I'm reading otherwise).</div>

emilykathleen511

Thanks Brooke   Makes sense to me...(and my Law & Order/Judging Amy scewed view of the legal system, lol).

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6ce9a58d-70d7-4c40-9afc-29231bfbc388Post:11d6fd66-f1df-46ce-88f0-f0edede11539">Re: Ang!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]J&K- I was actually thinking that. I was thisclose to just find a picture of you (FB stalker) andposting it ;) Shelly- Naw, I didn't bite into it :P. Want me to bake one filled with a billion plastic babies and mail it to you?
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]


haha! YES!  With my luck, I still wouldn't get the  baby.

emilykathleen511

It's the Knot Twilight Zone! Ahhh!