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Bridesmaid because you were on in their wedding??

Myshel6Myshel6
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I am sure that this has been asked a million times but Im wandering the etiuquette on not having people in your wedding party when I was in theirs.  Its something Im having a hard time with and I dont know how to handle it.

HELP!
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Re: Bridesmaid because you were on in their wedding??

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    This will hopefully be helpful:

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_her-bridesmaid-she-mine?plckShowLatestPost=1
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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  • stina93446stina93446 member
    2500 Comments
    This question is asked on the FIRST page of this board. You need to LURK before you post questions.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited August 2010
    It's her first post ever, stina, relax.  It was at the very bottom of the page and she may not have seen it.  ETA: Also, though you and I may have the page set up so that a new response brings the thread to the top of the page, I think the default may be like the old knot where it would stay in the order it was originally posted, in which case it might not be on the first page anymore.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • suz62984suz62984
    1000 Comments
    A few tips:
    -Weddings aren't tit for tat.
    -Being family doesn't automatically give you a spot.
    -Wait to choose your wedding party within 8 months of the wedding. You'll be glad you did just because relationships change.

    I think each situation/friendship is different. What are the circumstances surrounding your wedding party decision?
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Not at all necessary.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • roma14roma14
    10 Comments
    Agreed that they are not tit-for-tat, necessarily, but if you're close to the person, be prepared for hurting that person's feelings, especially if your reasons are along the lines of having even sides.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited August 2010
    You either check or uncheck the "sort by most recent post" button at the top.  I don't remember which one it is.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Bummer.  What browser do you use?  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Maybe try Safari?  That's what I use.  Can you use Safari on a PC?  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • frogurt814frogurt814
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-because-were-their-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:de0d6488-6f66-4660-a6e0-8fab4e03123dPost:babbc44c-fd50-4658-b3f3-7cfbd4493809">Re: Bridesmaid because you were on in their wedding??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Agreed that they are not tit-for-tat, necessarily, but if you're close to the person, be prepared for hurting that person's feelings, especially if your reasons are along the lines of having even sides.
    Posted by roma14[/QUOTE]
    Ditto this exactly.  My MOH is getting married next spring/summer and did not ask me to be a BM at all.  I know wedding parties are not tit-for-tat but it really hurt my feelings that I thought our friendship was at a completely different level than she apparently does.  My wedding was in July so it's not like it's been years and we haven't spoken or something.

    Just my input.
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-because-were-their-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:de0d6488-6f66-4660-a6e0-8fab4e03123dPost:b805bf08-a8d7-4e8f-a80f-50c7589b09f2">Re: Bridesmaid because you were on in their wedding??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't have one of those.  I just have "show user's signature" box.  Lame.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Keep looking for it. Mine switches back between "show user's sig" and "sort by most recent post" in the exact same place. Why? I have no idea.
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    Stage, I actually just figured it out. Make sure you're on the "Wedding Party" Board page, not a particular thread. It's going to be in the same place as the "Show user's sig" button.
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  • Myshel6Myshel6
    First Comment
    Thank you to the people who actually gave me advice. I have never done anything like this before and thought it would help to reach out.  To the b*tch who was rude get a life.  You were married 2 years ago so get off the knot and do something with yourself.  I feel bad for the poor man you married to have to deal with you.  You have now made me realize why I have never been on message boards before because people like you are rude. 
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-because-were-their-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:de0d6488-6f66-4660-a6e0-8fab4e03123dPost:86fcffae-27b9-4c40-b989-7bb541804d5c">Re: Bridesmaid because you were on in their wedding??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you to the people who actually gave me advice. I have never done anything like this before and thought it would help to reach out.  To the b*tch who was rude get a life.  You were married 2 years ago so get off the knot and do something with yourself.  I feel bad for the poor man you married to have to deal with you.  You have now made me realize why I have never been on message boards before because people like you are rude. 
    Posted by Myshel6[/QUOTE]
    There isn't a single response in this thread that was rude before this appalling display of bad manners.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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  • jcaruncho2010jcaruncho2010
    100 Comments
    I disagree.  There was a previous poster who wrote "This question is asked on the FIRST page of this board. You need to LURK before you post questions."  I think that was pretty rude.  If you don't want to answer a question posed on the board, don't answer it, but stina is not even a moderator to rudely "chastise" the  poster like that.
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  • goetzr19goetzr19
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-because-were-their-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:de0d6488-6f66-4660-a6e0-8fab4e03123dPost:36465624-9ffa-4c30-a112-f0226eff07af">Re: Bridesmaid because you were on in their wedding??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree.  There was a previous poster who wrote " This question is asked on the FIRST page of this board. You need to LURK before you post questions."  I think that was pretty rude.  If you don't want to answer a question posed on the board, don't answer it, but stina is not even a moderator to rudely "chastise" the  poster like that.
    Posted by jcaruncho2010[/QUOTE]


    Ditto this.  aerinpegadrak---you're abrasive and crass yourself, so you wouldn't have thought that anyone was rude of course! <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" class="Discussion_PostTable"><tbody><tr><td class="Discussion_PostTableUser"></td></tr></tbody></table>
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