OK.. I'm in a Predicament. Help me out. (:

lindseyandzach2014

I am getting married April 12, 2014.

Being excited and starting my planning process already, I kinda told the girls that I want in my wedding that I want them to be my bridesmaids. 

Well.. a few problems.

1- My fiance DOES NOT want one of them in the wedding because he really doesn't like her and she hasn't been the best friend to me.

2- I have like 9 people picked out and he has 7 or 8. 

3- I HATE hurting people's feelings. 

Soooo ladies.. what should I do about this? I am a nice person and don't wanna hurt anyones feelings, but don't want my fiance upset or anyone else. 

I know someone's probably going to get upset. But what do yall suggest I do? 

Peledreamsofrain

1. There is no rule anywhere about even sides. Don't worry about numbers. 2. It's not your fiance's call. Just as you don't get to control his choice of groomsmen, so too does he need to butt out of the bridesmaids. 3. Do you want her there? Thats all that matters

Miss Esa

There is nothing wrong with uneven sides when you do get married, so if your FI only has 7 GM and you have 9 BM, its not the end of the world.

ericaandtom2012

1- You pick your side, your FI picks his.  Unless the BM in question has physically harmed him, he gets no say (or tired to sleep with him, but I doubt you'd be asking her to be a BM then).  Why did you ask someone that hasn't been a good friend to you?

2. Uneven sides are fine.  It's about having the people there that you want there, not about having symmetrical pictures.  They're people (supposedly your closest friends), not props.

3.  You don't have to hurt anyone's feelings.  Keep the girls in that you've already asked.  Asking someone to step down is a friendship ending move and shouldn't be done, except in extreme (she tried to kill me/sleep with my FI) circumstances.

I know you're excited, but don't go BM dress shopping until you're less than 9 months out.  Styles change as do people's sizes. 

sdose13

DO NOT ask anybody now. Friendships and everything can change in a year and a half.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ok-im-in-a-predicament-help-me-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:de3c809f-e4ac-4b1a-ba73-4ef6190e9d23Post:076a97b6-292b-46cb-9560-5f79546ddded">Re: OK.. I'm in a Predicament. Help me out. (:</a>:
[QUOTE]DO NOT ask anybody now. Friendships and everything can change in a year and a half.
Posted by sdose13[/QUOTE]


She already did.

msuprincess04

I'm getting married two weeks after you, and while excited about it, I kept my mouth shut, and plan on doing so for at least another 9 months. Anything can happen between and now and then, and who knows who we will want standing on our day.

But, that ship has sailed.

As you've already asked her. You should keep her. Yes, you can dismiss her, but realize that you will also be dimissing her as a friend. No one likes the feeling of being demoted, or being told they were a mistake, or being told that they just aren't as special as you told her she was. Sides can be uneven, your FI will get over it, move on. And just let it all be till at least June 2013.

p.s. You may want to take off your name from your signiture. Don't you know there are crazy people on the interwebs?

lindseyandzach2014

Thank you all for your advise. 

I did get excited and ask ahead of time and I do realize I should've waited before I said a word. 

(:

lindseyandzach2014

I decided to have her in my wedding anyways thanks to yalls opinion. 

Yall were right. 

And I am not doing anything for sure yet, just kind of mentioned it to them. Who I wanted to be it. It will all be okay,(: 

and my fiance understands. 

lindseyandzach2014

Soo thanks very much ladies. 

Btw, most of the girls are childhood friends, so I am pretty sure I want them in it. 

But thanks for your thoughts and opinions.

lindseyandzach2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ok-im-in-a-predicament-help-me-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:de3c809f-e4ac-4b1a-ba73-4ef6190e9d23Post:7862b816-dab0-493e-b7a6-1e3704155768">Re: OK.. I'm in a Predicament. Help me out. (:</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm getting married two weeks after you, and while excited about it, I kept my mouth shut, and plan on doing so for at least another 9 months. Anything can happen between and now and then, and who knows who we will want standing on our day. But, that ship has sailed. As you've already asked her. You should keep her. Yes, you can dismiss her, but realize that you will also be dimissing her as a friend. No one likes the feeling of being demoted, or being told they were a mistake, or being told that they just aren't as special as you told her she was. Sides can be uneven, your FI will get over it, move on. And just let it all be till at least June 2013. p.s. You may want to take off your name from your signiture. Don't you know there are crazy people on the interwebs?
Posted by msuprincess04[/QUOTE] Thanks for the advice. I will do that. And just curious, what part of my signature are you talking about? 

MyNameIsNot

You FI's last name is on your ticker.  

Peledreamsofrain

Yes, with your user name, and your statement on your ticker, I know your fiance's entire name.  I also know your future full name.  I'm way too lazy to be a crazy stalker person, but other people might have more gumption.  You never know.

DMoore421

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ok-im-in-a-predicament-help-me-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:de3c809f-e4ac-4b1a-ba73-4ef6190e9d23Post:c7fa0974-40c5-4a74-a041-9acb9c481e6f">OK.. I'm in a Predicament. Help me out. (:</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting married April 12, 2014. Being excited and starting my planning process already, I kinda told the girls that I want in my wedding that I want them to be my bridesmaids.  Well.. a few problems. 1- My fiance DOES NOT want one of them in the wedding because he really doesn't like her and she hasn't been the best friend to me. 2- I have like 9 people picked out and he has 7 or 8.  3- I HATE hurting people's feelings.  Soooo ladies.. what should I do about this? I am a nice person and don't wanna hurt anyones feelings, but don't want my fiance upset or anyone else.  I know someone's probably going to get upset. But what do yall suggest I do? 
Posted by lindseyandzach2014[/QUOTE]

This is the exact reason that I thought about it for almost 6 months before I asked my girls - i didn't even half ask anyone until I was sure how many I was going to end up having and how many guys FI was going to have -

Did you specifically ask her to be  a BM or did you ask her to have a part in the wedding - maybe you can get away with her reading or carrying the gifts (if catholic ceremony)

lindseyandzach2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ok-im-in-a-predicament-help-me-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:de3c809f-e4ac-4b1a-ba73-4ef6190e9d23Post:7294555b-632f-492f-810a-ebd3a6d977be">Re: OK.. I'm in a Predicament. Help me out. (:</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, with your user name, and your statement on your ticker, I know your fiance's entire name.  I also know your future full name.  I'm way too lazy to be a crazy stalker person, but other people might have more gumption.  You never know.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]Is that better?? :)

lindseyandzach2014

Thanks you guys so much. 

I am going to have her in my wedding. 

The reason why these girls were already asked is because they were all childhood friends and I know I want them in my wedding. They aren't just some friends I recently made.