Bridesmaid concerns, please HELP!!!!

bride n love2011

Ok so here's the deal.  Im getting married next fall and I asked 6 of my closest girl friends to be in the wedding and now I hardly speak to half of them and am not on speaking terms at all with my moh.( or ex moh, whatever she is)  I understand that people get busy and sometimes its hard to keep communication and I make attempts to communicate and keep in touch a good bit but im having a big concern about two of them mostly.  So my biggest thing is that me and my moh dont even speak any more and I have no idea why.  Honestly its sad to say but its kind of a relief bc I had concerns about making her moh from the beginning but im more of a guys girl so she was my only close close girl friend for a long time and it was basically understood she would be my moh.  But she would always talk about helping me and then would flake out and would always try and compare her relationship to mine and i had a feeling that she would not come through with ANY moh responsibilities or i wasnt even sure she wouldnt bail out on me right before the wedding.  We havent spoken at all for a couple months and im pretty sure at this point she gets the hint shes out of the wedding  unless something changes very soon (i would tell her myself but she wont speak to me). The only thing is that we have a very close group of friends and me and fh are friends with her bf and most mutual friends are in the wp.  Im not sure how to handle this really. the second problem is that my other close girl friend that is a bm slept with my ex bf recently pretty much in front of me and i confronted her about it (not bc of any feelings towards the ex but just so there wouldnt be any talking behind her back and to let her know that i wasnt going to be mad at her or anything like that)  and everything seemed fine for a bit then she started getting really weird to me and her and my moh i discussed are all buddy buddy and she wont hardly speak to me either and is being really shady for some reason.  I dont really have girl drama or any drama in my life i am just concerned about all this as how to handle it regarding wp issues.  I know my wedding is a year away and friendships change and things can happen but i dont really want to have people in my wedding who areant there for me at all.  Any advice or tips how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.  And thank you for whoever reads all this bc i know its a novel lol so sorry about that!

maibrandnew

The last wedding I was in was a similar situation... a bit of advice. Cut those two out. You don't want to look at your wedding pics for the rest of your life with them in them, the day will be much more pleasant with out them in the wedding party. Just continue on and just not keep them in the loop. People grow apart.

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-concerns-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e1ecabe2-5f86-422f-b9c9-b5d389de8d1bPost:da69a82e-1e67-40c9-871f-9987dfe99d98">Bridesmaid concerns, please HELP!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so here's the deal.  Im getting married next fall and I asked 6 of my closest girl friends to be in the wedding and now I hardly speak to half of them and am not on speaking terms at all with my moh.( or ex moh, whatever she is)  I understand that people get busy and sometimes its hard to keep communication and I make attempts to communicate and keep in touch a good bit but im having a big concern about two of them mostly. <div>
</div><div> So my biggest thing is that me and my moh dont even speak any more and I have no idea why.  Honestly its sad to say but its kind of a relief bc I had concerns about making her moh from the beginning but im more of a guys girl so she was my only close close girl friend for a long time and it was basically understood she would be my moh.  But she would always talk about helping me and then would flake out and would always try and compare her relationship to mine and i had a feeling that she would not come through with ANY moh responsibilities or i wasnt even sure she wouldnt bail out on me right before the wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>We havent spoken at all for a couple months and im pretty sure at this point she gets the hint shes out of the wedding  unless something changes very soon (i would tell her myself but she wont speak to me). The only thing is that we have a very close group of friends and me and fh are friends with her bf and most mutual friends are in the wp.  Im not sure how to handle this really.</div><div>
</div><div> the second problem is that my other close girl friend that is a bm slept with my ex bf recently pretty much in front of me and i confronted her about it (not bc of any feelings towards the ex but just so there wouldnt be any talking behind her back and to let her know that i wasnt going to be mad at her or anything like that)  and everything seemed fine for a bit then she started getting really weird to me and her and my moh i discussed are all buddy buddy and she wont hardly speak to me either and is being really shady for some reason.  I dont really have girl drama or any drama in my life i am just concerned about all this as how to handle it regarding wp issues. </div><div>
</div><div> I know my wedding is a year away and friendships change and things can happen but i dont really want to have people in my wedding who areant there for me at all.  Any advice or tips how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.  And thank you for whoever reads all this bc i know its a novel lol so sorry about that!
Posted by bride n love2011[/QUOTE]

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MyNameIsNot

For the MOH, you have 2 choices.  Either 1) suck it up and deal with her being MOH, the role that you asked her to fill or 2) grow a pair and end the friendship. There is no "understood" that you kicked her out of the wedding or your life, especially if she is still a part of your circle of friends.

For the other BM, I don't see the problem.  If you are this upset that she slept with your ex, you need to reconsider getting married.  I don't see how his or her sex life is any of your business, unless you still have feelings for him.  

Frankly, this all sounds like a bunch of high school drama.  You and your friends sound really immature.  I suggest that you spend the next year growing up and learning how to have adult relationships with your friends.  It is a lesson that will help in marriage as well as in life.

As for the WP, leave it alone.  You say you are a year out, and your bio says 1/1/11.  Do you mean 1/1/12?  Roughly 14 months away?  You shouldn't have even asked anyone yet this far in advance, much less be kicking anyone out.  Leave the issue alone for another 8 months, and when it comes time to think about BM dresses, see where you are with your relationships.