Wedding Party
Options

More friends that bridesmaid spots!

I have more close friends than my fiance but want to keep the wedding party even.  All of my friends that I am considering asking have a mutual friend Lisa.  However, although I adore Lisa, I am not as close to her to go out of my way to alter my wedding to put her in my wedding party.  However, I do want to involve her somehow because I value her opinion. 

Re: More friends that bridesmaid spots!

  • Options
    The thing is, I am not even close to Lisa.  So I do not really think that my priorities are off.  There are friends whom I am closer too that are not going to be in the wedding party.  The only reason this is a concern is because we have the same circle of friends (so she will know what is going on all the time) and because she's so incredibly nice and sweet that you just don't want to hurt such a nice person. 
  • Options
    It is just silly to exclude someone you really care for just for even sides.  Your priorities should be your friends not even sides.

    And, asking your friends to do things that you should be paying for isn't an honor.  It is a chore and it sucks.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friends-bridesmaid-spots?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e42a73cc-d4d6-4a61-a412-40eb8650e3b2Post:b3e123b9-0730-480c-a1e3-d82a597da21e">Re: More friends that bridesmaid spots!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The thing is, I am not even close to Lisa.  So I do not really think that my priorities are off.  <strong>There are friends whom I am closer too that are not going to be in the wedding party.</strong>  The only reason this is a concern is because we have the same circle of friends (so she will know what is going on all the time) and because she's so incredibly nice and sweet that you just don't want to hurt such a nice person. 
    Posted by blueeyedwonder4[/QUOTE]


    If you are not close to Lisa, then don't ask her to be a bridesmaid. Either ask her to be a reader, or let her just enjoy herself as a guest. Don't come up with a job for her.

    If you have friends that you are closer to, then why are they not going to be bridesmaids? Is it because the sides must be even? Or is it because you picked girls who are even closer to you than them to be BMs?
    image
  • Options
    Dont gather six of your friends in a room, and then ask five of them to be bridesmaids.  For the love of god, how insensitive would that be?  How do you think Lisa would feel?  I also agree with pp, ask each person separately to be bm.  Some may want to decline, and won't want to do it in a group setting.  Also, your sides can be uneven, people are not props, maybe give that some thought.  And lastly, the wedding party is not obligated to throw you parties.
  • Options
    Wow, good catch Jackie.  I didn't realize she was planning on gathering them in a group to ask them.  Definitely don't do that, it puts pressure on the girls to say yes, even if they need to think about it or need to decline.  And definitely, definitely don't ask them in front of someone you are not planning on asking to be a BM.  That's just mean.
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
  • Options
    Make sure to ask how much she will charge you for the wedding day coordinator position since this is a vendor and not an honor.
    Anniversary
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friends-bridesmaid-spots?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e42a73cc-d4d6-4a61-a412-40eb8650e3b2Post:6e01bc95-9865-4de2-9501-30b3043c1a17">Re: More friends that bridesmaid spots!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Go with your instinct and don't ask her because you feel you have to. <strong>I would have her help with certain festivities like the shower and/or bachelorette party planning.</strong> If you think that is too much for her to get involved in since the BP usually does that, you can have her do a reading at the ceremony, and maybe help prepare other things like invitations, decorations, etc. The sky is the limit, and i'm sure you have a lot to do!
    Posted by lilcassers[/QUOTE]

    NO...You should have no part in planning your shower or bachlorette party. If the other BMs want to include her, they will. It is <em>their</em> mutual friend after all.
    Anniversary
  • Options
    I was the coordinator for my friend's wedding a few weeks back.  I did it partly as a gift to her, and partly because I'm considering going into the business and I wanted a taste of what it would be like.

    The only time I got to sit down between 9am and 6pm was when I was driving.  I ate my meal standing up in the kitchen, scarfing down the food because I needed to leave the reception to go get champagne from Trader Joe's.  (I didn't even really have time to eat, but I didn't want to pass out.)  The only time I got on the dance floor was when I grabbed one of the groomsmen and started dancing to encourage people to get back on the dance floor after the tosses.  I kept the party running, but I certainly wasn't in a position to enjoy it myself.

    It was extremely difficult work; believe me, DOCs earn every penny they charge.  If someone volunteers to do it for you (as I did for my friend), that's one thing.  But you should never in a million years assign that sort of workload to someone unless they're being paid and under contract. 
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards