How to pick the wedding party?

EveT04

Hello everyone! me and my Groom are having so much trouble picking the wedding party bc we have so many close friends, any ideas on how to pick people?

baystateapple

- Pick only the people who are closest to you, the ones you can't imagine having your wedding without.  People you have been friends with for years, or family members, are best, as it's less likely that you'll fall out of touch or friendship with them in the next few months.

- Don't pick people because of "obligations" (i.e. you were in a friend's wedding, so you feel obligated to pick her as a bridesmaid even though you don't get along anymore or you're no longer close).  Weddings are not tit for tat. 

- Remember that the size of your wedding party can have a HUGE impact on your budget.  You have to pay for all of these people, plus their dates, for dinner both at the wedding and the rehearsal dinner, plus bridesmaids' and groomsmens' gifts and bouquets and boutenniers for them the day of the wedding.  Don't have a large party if you're planning on having a small budget.

- Most importantly (at least on this forum): sides do not have to be even!  If you want more bridesmaids than he wants groomsmen (or vice versa), let it be!  It will look fine in the end.  Please trust me on this.

Good luck!

saxy414

Adding on to every thing BayState said, wait until you have at least the venue chosen and a basic idea of budget.  If you have this, that will have a huge bearing on how many people you ask. 

trix1223

Who would you call, without any doubt in your mind, if you needed emergency help at 3 am?

mbcdefg

If you're having trouble choosing between friends, consider keeping it family-only ... just siblings, maybe first cousins as well. Friends will understand.

It's also O.K. if you skip a bridal party all together.

Ditto all of the above.

bablingbrooke

Knee-jerk reaction: Who do you want standing next to you when you say your vows?  That is your WP.

Don't let numbers, symmetry, tit-for-tat, or who has money to plan a party dictate your decision.  Choose based on relationships and you are least likely to regret your choice.  Wait until you have a year or less to go.  And if it would cause family drama to not ask a sibling (yours or his), consider asking that sibling, just to buy yourself some family peace.  It's usually worth it.

kellyb1487

I would wait until you are at least 9 months away. These boards are full of people regretting their choices...

I agree with P.P. who would be the people you would trust with your life... This is not the time to ask the drinking buddy to part of the festivities

dco324

This is a time in your life when you are going to have so many unusual stressors-family relations will be tested, friendships may fail and besides your fiance, who will you turn to.  Who will you want to have standing behind you when you are saying your vows and to help you through the emotions and changes you'll experience between now and your wedding and beyond.