How young is too young to be a BM?

beckster5551

Long story short I'm down a BM. I was planning on having a Jr BM and now I'm thinking about having her be a BM. She will be 10 at the time of the wedding. Would it be weird if one of my BM was a 10 year old girl? FI wants a traditional wedding so the BM would be walking down the aisle with a GM. 

Any advise you would have would be great.

trix1223

Can she walk down the aisle?  Can she stand respectfully during the ceremony?  Can she smile for the pictures?  If the answer to all three questions is yes, she's capable of being a BM..

As for the walking down the aisle with a GM,  you're overthinking it.  No one, not a single person, is going to think they're a couple for heaven's sake.  It's a 20 second walk out of the church (or ceremony venue). 

Go ahead and ask her.

beckster5551

She can do all three:) She is actually a year ahead in school and will be going into sixth grade. I had to brag a little. 

Thank you so much for your advise. I was worried what people would think of her being a BM.

mbcdefg

A junior bridesmaid is the same thing as a bridesmaid, so it really doesn't make a difference.

bablingbrooke

If the BM can't tell you what her role is, she's too young.  A 10 year old BM is totally fine.  Why wouldn't it be?

We had a very traditional wedding and the BMs walked in solo while the GM stood up at the altar with my DH.  The processional has nothing to do with the "traditional-ness" of the wedding by any stretch of the imagination.  And if they *must* walk in together (can't imagine any scenario where that's the case but I'm willing to go with it) then a 10 year old walking in with an older man is hardly a Lolita-making scenario.  It's 15 seconds down the aisle together.

Shel79

My little sister is one of my BMs, and she'll be 13 at the time of our wedding.  If people think anything weird about it. . . well, that's their problem!

clmower

My 11 year old daughter (who will be 12 at time of wedding) is my MOH.  I know that is a bit more untraditional, but I think will be ok as one of my other BM will step in for the "older" responsibilites of the MOH.  This will be the second time she is in a wedding as a BM.  I agree with everyone else, if the young BM can walk down the asle, smile, and be respectful, there is no problem with it.

banana468

It's fine.  Just make sure that her dress is appropriate for her age.

emilyinchile

I was a 12 year old (jr) BM. I walked down the aisle with an adult GM and even sat next to him at dinner at the head table (back when they were in fashion). My dress was different so that it was age appropriate, and I had sparkling cider for the toast, but other than that, I did everything the other BMs did, and it was fine.

megk8oz

You're overthinking this.

The recessional is barely 30 seconds long unless you're in a giant cathederal ... and even then, how long could it possibly be? Same thing if you do a BP "grand entrance" during your reception: it's a 30 second walk. So she'll be on the older GM's arm for less than 2 minutes the entire night. Not a big deal.

Plus, it's a pretty safe bet that the majority of your guests will have attended a wedding before and know how the "pair offs" work, so I really can't imagine people are going to think they are each other's "dates" be all "Oh, snap, she's 10, that GM is 30! Do her parents know about them?!?!?!?! Scandalous!!!!" about it.

stina93446

To answer the question in the title, I think 6 is too young. Anything older than that can stand there and take a picture without fidgeting.

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_young-young-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e76a662c-e8b5-4af0-aed2-892118d9a46cPost:32db2aaa-3373-4f05-8598-8ccfc225d5ef">Re: How young is too young to be a BM?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was worried what people would think of her being a BM.
Posted by beckster5551[/QUOTE]

I very much doubt that any sane person would gaso and scream out, "OMG, Ashley is a Bridesmaid instead of a Junior Bridesmaid. That must meant that she went to the bachelorette party! What a little tramp!"

"Junior" is just an unnecessary title that some brides choose to tack onto a young bridesmaid. It means absolutely nothing. All bridesmaids do is participate in the ceremony. Any of that non-wedding stuff (bachelorette party, planning/paying for a bridal shower, penis straws, etc.) is extra and not mandatory.

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_young-young-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e76a662c-e8b5-4af0-aed2-892118d9a46cPost:68ed226f-19e7-4289-bebf-df2713062349">Re: How young is too young to be a BM?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How young is too young to be a BM? : I very much doubt that any sane person would gaso and scream out, "OMG, Ashley is a Bridesmaid instead of a Junior Bridesmaid. <strong>That must meant that she went to the bachelorette party! What a little tramp!"</strong> "Junior" is just an unnecessary title that some brides choose to tack onto a young bridesmaid. It means absolutely nothing. All bridesmaids do is participate in the ceremony. Any of that non-wedding stuff (bachelorette party, planning/paying for a bridal shower, <strong>penis straws</strong>, etc.) is extra and not mandatory.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

<div>I double dog dare you to give this girl a penis straw!</div>

beckster5551

I thought I was over thinking it all. 

As for the penis straw I think not. To me she will forever be a 3 year old. 

Thanks!

jessporras

I don't think there's too much of a distniction between a junior bridesmaid and bridesmaid in title.  A bridesmaid's a bridesmaid.  The only distinction I would make with a younger girl, however, would be that she wouldn't participate in my bachelorette party where there could potentially be themes inappropriate for someone of her age, paired with the fact that (depending on your state) she may not be able to get into some 21+ establishments.  She could absolutely be a part of planning a shower, or whatever else your bridesmaids may do. 

Depending on how sensitive and/or aware your younger bridesmaid may be, you may have to explain that the bachelorette party is for older girls, but that she will be a big part of the most important day- your wedding!