Will you be my bridesmaid gifts?

erinleanne128

Just recently engaged and looking forward to asking my friends and family to be bridesmaids! I am looking for a cute and small gift i can give them with a card asking them to be a part of our special day! Any suggestions for inexpensive and creative gifts? Thanks!

lalap69

I've heard of several people doing roses or some other flower.

mbcdefg

Did you set a date yet (meaning, are the ceremony and reception sites booked already)? If not, I'd STRONGLY urge you to wait until that's done until you ask a bridal party. And if it's not within the next 10-12 months, I would wait until that time as well.

I just asked my MOH at our parents' house, and I asked the other BM while we were out having some food (I think I may have paid for it all as a thank you for accepting? I forget).

Some people give wine, chocolates, homemade scrap books, a mix CD.

trix1223

This is one of those things that is really unneccessary.  The honor is in BEING asked, not in HOW you're asked.

In the coming months, the wedding industry is going to do their very best to convince you that everything about your wedding must be a production, and unless it is, your wedding won't be unique, special, memorable, one-of-a-kind, clever, or clever.

Realize that their goal is to separate you from your money.  Wedding magazines, websites and tv shows exist to get you to purchase the "stuff" their advertisers sell.

Honestly ask yourself:  will asking your friends to stand with you at your wedding be more special because you gave them a cookie shaped like a dress, or gave them some other "gift"?  Do you think it will help them remember that moment more?  It won't.  They'll remember it because you asked.  It's that simple.

What you're going to find from most of the regs here is that they just asked.  They called their friends, or went out for a cup of coffee and asked.  And none of their friends said "Where's my gift?"

GL, and congrats on your engagement.

trix1223

Oh, and ditto malphabet.  DON'T ask anyone earlier than a year-preferably about 8-10 months out.  Why?  Scroll down this board, and read the countless posts from brides who asked too early, and are now trying to find ways to kick BMs out of the wedding.

TownsendStrange

I did miniature wedding dresses with a poem attached. I found them online that were made from handkerchiefs. They even had their own little heart hanger. I made a small box that opened like a closet so I could hang the dress in there but they can easly fit in an envelope too if you want to do a card. Bridesmaid loved it and they all have them displayed somewhere in their room.

Here's the link: 

http://www.weddingdepot.com/catalog/product_info.php/products_id/171

CTGirl30

The beauty of it is that you don't have to give them a gift to make it special - simply asking will be a real honor and very special in and of itself.  You'll have a chance to buy each member of the bridal party a gift once you get close to your wedding - gifts to the WP members are traditionally handed out at the rehersal dinner.

I simply asked each of my BMs over dinner and one over the telephone.

stina93446

Wait until a year out from the date if you aren't there yet. Check out the "my moh is driving me GRHHHH!" post. 

erinleanne128

thanks for all of the great posts!

the date has been set for september, leaving only 6 months to plan! our venue should be finalized within the next week. we were planning on asking after that.

i agree that it is so special to be asked, but i want my friends to think "she not only asked me, she found something that i would love so i could remember this."

thanks again, great help!

aerinpegadrak

Had I thought about it, I probably would have done flowers.  Actually, I probably would have done chocolate or some other treat.  I know that, as much as my girls love me, the last thing they need is more "stuff."  However, I just kind of asked, without really planning on how I was going to do it.

Save the money you'd spend on something for the asking and put it into their gift for being in the wedding.  If it's something that they'll individually treasure instead of more wedding "stuff" (i.e. jewelry, monogrammed totes, anything with your wedding date on it), they'll have that to remember the entire experience by.

bablingbrooke

I've never gotten a gift when asked to be a BM and it's never made me feel like the bride didn't put any thought into it.  All I can think is that I felt so special that the bride wanted me in her wedding, period.  If you want to give them a memento, a card telling them how much they mean to you would be nice.  But as someone who's been a BM several times, it's a breath of fresh air if the bride doesn't turn everything wedding-related into a mini-ceremony of some sort.

I think it's a sign if you can't come up with the gift idea on your own--it probably means it isn't natural to give one.  If it was you'd be able to think of something.  I know it would be awkward for me and my friends to exchange a mini wedding dress and poem or a cookie or something because that just isn't our thing.  If it is, great. 

I'd put the money toward their gifts, personally.  

lalap69

The reason I suggested flowers was because my career advisor told me how she asked her BMs.  She said she went over to their houses or met up with them holding a yellow rose (because they're supposed to represent friendship) and they would say "oh, is that for me?" and that allowed her to segue into asking them nicely.  I thought it sounded sweet.

I do agree that these things are not *necessary*, but if you want to do them, I think it's cute.  Just buy the flowers from the grocery store and it's not expensive.

megk8oz

My BMs were my 2 sisters and DH's sister. With my sisters, it was always a known thing they were going to be in my BP (It's kind of a "rule" in my family).

When I first got engaged and announced it to my family, the 2 of them took one look at the ring and said "So who are your BMs?". And I said "Well, you guys, of course.". They laughed and said "Duh, but who else are you asking?".

DH had pretty much the exact same experience with his 2 closest friends.

The only people that got any sort of "formal" asking was my brother and his sister. At the time, I wasn't very close with her, and DH wasn't very close with him, but we wanted them both in the WP. So we just said to them  "Listen, we want you standing up with us, but we know that you're not incredbily close with DH/Meg right now. So if you want, it's totally up to you if stand on his/her side and we really won't be offended by whatever decision you make." He wound up opting to be a GM, she opted to be a BM.

It doesn't need to be anything fancy. My only thing is if for some reason you can't ask somebody in person, please call them on the phone to ask. Do not ask them via text message or Facebook comment. Otherwise, I don't really think there's any "rules" to follow once it's time to ask.

ElleTR13

My party is spread out across the country. While I would like to ask each in person, that will not be possible. We're getting married 4.16.11, and I plan on asking them after Easter(once we nail down the time and reception venue). 

I am not doing a gift, but I am doing a card. I haven't nailed down specifics, but I plan on buying white cardstock, either an oversized postcard size or folding card. I will buy lavender cardstock as well. I am going to print a black and white picture of each girl & myself(in the case of some, I may have 2...for example, my cousin. One when we were little and one recent one). I'll put the purple cardstock behind the picture and then glue it to the white card. Inside/on the back I'll write a message. We all love getting mail, so I thought this is a cute, inexpensive way to do it. I plan on asking this early because these girls have been my closest friends for years, and I plan to(and already am!) discuss the entire planning process with them.

banana468

A tiny gift is nice - but ditto PPs on making sure that you have the date set when you ask.

wcvsb3b5

I took each of them out to lunch individually and asked. Or you can take FI's approach and when you're drunk just TELL them they are going to be in your wedding (yeah he's really big on etiquette lol).

*Disclaimer: I do not actually suggest that you get drunk and tell people they are going to be in your bp.