Problem w/ Mother and Sister!!!

mhdz05

Right now I have 4 bridesmaids and groom, including best man and maid of honor.
My mom and sister want me to include my sister's son who is 14 yrs old as a groom, which means I would have to get a 13 or 14 yr old bridesmaid BUT I dont want to have kids standing up in my wedding! what do yall think am I over reacting and should just please my mom and sister(who is helping for our HM)??? Please let me know what you think! Thank you!!

mbcdefg

Your sides do not need to be even. If YOU want to add your nephew as a groomsman (or as your own attendant), add him, and don't round up some random teen girl to even out the sides. Just have five groomsmen and four bridesmaids. The nephew can walk alone, or he and another groomsman can escort one lady between them.

If you really do not want to add your nephew, then just say, "Sorry Mom and Sis, but we've already selected our wedding party." Then change the subject or walk away and end the conversation.

If your mom and/or sister is paying for your wedding, even part of it, then realize that they have the right to some input. And even if they're not paying, sometimes it's worth it to give in to their wish in order to keep family peace. But you are certainly within your rights to refuse to add him if you do not want him included. If you want to compromise with them, maybe he could be a reader or bring up Communion or light a candle or something.

Or he could be a ring bearer, and just walk down the aisle with the pillow and then sit with a family member in the audience. Include him in a couple of bridal party photos and you're done.

abbygrace8

i don't think including your newphew mandates the need of a junior bridesmaid at all. junior party members are often the odd numer out- i was a junior bridesmaid in my aunt's wedding and they didn't have junior groomsmen to match. it's no biggie. if you want to ask the newphew, do it. i wouldn't let them pressure you into it, but if you want to ask because you and your fiance deem it a good decision, don't worry about getting junior bridesmaids. people get it. hope that helps!

bablingbrooke

Just because you add a Jr. GM does NOT mean you have to add a Jr. BM.  Sides can be uneven.  Our sides were uneven.  Marriage is still valid.  While we can tell (barely) in a couple of pictures, we certainly aren't kicking ourselves for not finding a warm body to stand on DH's side to even things out.  And DH is really OCD about symmetry and even he wasn't bothered

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_problem-w-mother-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e8584a93-cebf-4427-af27-626947318012Post:59431dca-5a18-45f8-ab76-613fbf638e3b">Problem w/ Mother and Sister!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Right now I have 4 bridesmaids and groom, including best man and maid of honor. My mom and sister want me to include my sister's son who is 14 yrs old as a groom, which means I would have to get a 13 or 14 yr old bridesmaid BUT I dont want to have kids standing up in my wedding! what do yall think am I over reacting and should just please my mom and sister(who is helping for our HM)??? Please let me know what you think! Thank you!!
Posted by mhdz05[/QUOTE]

As other pps have pointed out, WPs are NOT about symmetry, so if you put your nephew in the WP, you most certainly do NOT have to round up a random teen-aged girl to achieve even sides.

My DIL had her young cousin as a BM.  They did not have another random kid.  Guess what.....they're still married, AND the photos look great.  Please lose the idea of even numbers.  It just doesn't matter at all.

The bigger issue here is whether or not you want your nephew as a member of the WP.  If you don't, thank your mom for the suggestion, and tell her you've decided that you're not having him.

You could have him as an usher-he could escort your mom into the ceremony.  He could also be a reader if he's comfortable in that role.

suz62984

1) Symmetry doesn't matter.
2) If you don't want him as a GM then don't ask him. No matter who is pressuring you.  You may consider him as an usher though.
3) If you mom threatens to take away funding then fine. Money always has strings attached. The best way to control the things you want is to cut the strings and pay for things yourself. Yes, you may need to scale back on the HM a little but at least you wouldn't have been guilted into something.

mhdz05

I actually wanted him to escort my mom and she had agreed with me on that but it was untill my sister told her that she wanted to him to be a jr groomsman and for us to get a little girl to be with him she changed her mind! What I thought was even more rude was that my mom asked one of my cousins to escort her with out asking me first!
But thank you ladies for your input! I will just have to let them know that he can either escort my mom or walk by himself and still be in the pictures with the bridal party!

MyNameIsNot

He would be a groomsman, not a groom.  The groom is the guy you marry.

Sides do not need to be even.  Including or excluding people for the sake of even sides is just a horrible way to treat human beings.  Ask the nephew, and move on.  Don't look for some girl to be a prop to balance him out.

meganwalsh22

He could always be an usher which would include him but he wouldn't be standing up at the altar with you.