Wedding Party

My friend asked me to be her MOH and now she is going all bridzilla on me!

Ok, so a friend of mine asked me to be her MOH, and I of course said that I would love to, but I have concerns about the cost of things.  She said not to worry because she picked out dresses from David's Bridal that were $79.00 and she was going to gift shoes, and Jewelry, and if I needed it she would help me out.  I told her as long as that was the case I could pull it off no problem because her parties (shower, bachelorette) were going to cost money too.  She agreed.  She told us to hold off on buying our dresses even though she knew what she wanted.  Now last minute, she has changed her mind and wants the dresses hand made and they are going to cost $200.00 now.  I was stunned when she told me this and I told her I'm sorry, a year ago when we discussed this, it was only going to be 79.00, I can't pull off a 200.00 dollar dress, I didn't budget for it being that high.  She said no worries, she would help me with the dress, reluctantly I agreed and told her I would still be in her wedding as long as she was seriously going to help pay.  But, when it came time to pay for the thing (they wanted it in full) she said she would not be helping me and I had to come up with the money myself.    I did some digging and found out a way to pull off the $200.00 dress and informed the bride.  (I am getting married too, and she is always saying "when you get to this point you will understand how I feel"  Though I have never felt her stress level). 

She then told me she wanted the dress to be cut exactly to fit my body, so that I could wear it again and I told her that I was uncomfortable with the idea because I don't wear dresses very often and I would prefer it to be cut true to size.  After she was on my case about having it cut to fit my body, I caved and told her the reason behind it was because I wanted to sell the dress afterwards so I could get some of the $200.00 back.  She immediately took that as I hate the dress.  I tried to explain to her that the reasoning was because of how expensive the dress was and as with other Bridesmaid dresses I have they just sit in my closet.  She WAS suppose to be a BM in my wedding and I told her and the other girls (before this all happened) that IF they wanted to sell the dresses they should do it together to get a better chance of selling them, and she thought that was a good idea.  I spoke to some of the other bridesmaids and they said they were going to sell their dress as well. I'm not hurt by this, I understand you getting a dress for someone else's wedding and wearing most likely once.  The other girls from her wedding WERE planning on doing the same thing until now...

OK, so here is the thing, this girl kicked me out of her wedding...which fine, I can understand, and she took herself out of mine, again I can understand, but seriously, she hates me now and I made her day horrible, and she won't even talk to me.  I tried to tell her once that I didn't want a dress to ruin our friendship and she goes "you should have thought about that before you told me you were going to sell your dress"  What should I do?!  I'm so confused, honestly did I do something wrong?  I never told her the dresses were ugly, I just said that I need to recoup some of the expense that I wasn't expecting and I don't wear dresses often, which she should know because she has only seen me in a dress once, at PROM...and we have been friends for over 10 years...I don't know what to do, the only dress in my closet right now is my wedding dress...What should I say to her if anything?

Re: My friend asked me to be her MOH and now she is going all bridzilla on me!

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    You haven't done anything wrong, and you shouldn't feel bad about it in the least.  She has allowed a dress to ruin your relationship, and she has lost her mind.  She's behaving like a complete bridezilla, and there's really nothing you could do to appease her ridiculousness. 

    Really, I have no idea how to tell you to reason with a person who would act like that.  Personally, I would realize that I'd seen her true colors, and that she's not the person I thought she was.  She does not sound like a very good person, and I don't think I'd want to continue being friends with someone like her.  But I'm saying that as an outsider, and I haven't invested the years of friendship that you have, so I know that sounds cold.  
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    Wow.  I'm sorry your friend is so off her rocker that she would kick you out of her wedding and end a friendship over you not being able to afford a dress and wanting to recoup some of the cost of that dress.

    If you were still on good terms, I'd say to remind her that it's her marriage to her FI is what's important, not the appearance of the BM dresses and whether the dresses stay in her BMs closets after the wedding.  But it doesn't sound like you're on good terms, so maybe let the friendship drift for now and hope that she comes back to her senses soon.
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    Wow, your friend sounds like a raging bridezilla alright. Just let the flames die down and lets hope she will come to her senses, if not, you basically just saw the girl for her true colors and should try to move on. No sense in worrying about this girl who not only lied to you, but basically treated you like dirt. 
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    It sounds like this girl needs to get over herself. She isn't acting like a bridezilla she is acting like a CHILD.  This is something you do when someone upsets you in a sandbox at age 4.  If she can't understand where you are coming from then trust me you don't want to be friends with this person.  I wouldn't.  It sucks when you see the true colors of a long-time friend after so many years, I know I have been there.  I chalked it up to lesson learned.  
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    edited March 2010
    You sound like you were a great bridesmaid. You were upfront from the beginning which as a bride (and human lol) I appreciate, and yet all she cared about was the stupid dress. 

    You didn't do anything wrong, and I think you're better off no longer have to deal with her craziness. 

    Try not to worry about it, and don't let it spoil your own wedding planning process. Let her live in bridezilla land, and you just do your own thing and don't worry about her.
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    Wow, ditto others, you did nothing wrong. 
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    Sounds like you were a great MOH and a fabulous friend.  You don't need her.  Move on with the good friends you still have and let her reap what she's the time her wedding's over she won't have any friends left.

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    I'd say, "I'm really sorry you feel that way.  You were a great friend of mine but the way you acted as really hurt me.  I hope one day I'm able to put this behind me."

    She sounds like a crappy friend.

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    WOW.  I'm so, so sorry that you're going through this.

    Since she kicked you out of the wedding party after you shelled out money (and more than you budgeted) for a dress to be in the wedding party, I think she should pay you back for the dress.  I know that's probably not your biggest concern right now, but I kind of want to make her pay in every way possible for being such a huge bridezilla and horrible friend.
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    I'd put up the dress on Ebay and send her the link to it.  Maybe she can buy it for the girl she'll probably replace you with.

    Seriously, though, I've seen wedding stress change people.  This is extreme, though, and a good indication of what you might have seend more of in the future.  I know it's hard to let go of a 10 year friendship, but this isn't your fault.  You didn't ruin her big day because you want to sell the dress afterwards, she's just trying to make you feel guilty.  She's the one who backed out on helping you pay, and knew you wouldn't be able to afford an expensive dress from the start.

    Consider yourself lucky that you got out now, before she demands the $1000 bridal shower.

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    I would probably cry a little because it sucks to lose a friend over anything, especially something as stupid as this, and then I would breathe a big sigh of relief that this pile of crazy was out of my life.

    As PPs have said, you did nothing wrong, and she sounds like a crazy biatch. She should never have saddled you with that extra expense, and if one of my BMs could get some money back for her dress I'd be thrilled, not offended. Just take some comfort in knowing that you handled the situation with grace and honesty, and try not to be too upset that someone who was not a good friend to you is having a temper tantrum.
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    You did nothing wrong. She sounds unreasonable and petty. If she is going to let a dress ruin 10 years of friendship then she wasn't a true friend to begin with. It was wrong for her to suddenly not help out with the payment of the dress. It is also none of her business what you do with your dress after you sell it. To bad you and the other BMs couldn't band together to all say you were selling the dress right after the wedding. She couldn't kick everyone out.
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    I think she should definitely pay you back for the dress since she kicked you out.

    Also, why would you want to be friends with someone who values a dress more than your friendship? She's a beast. Be glad that you don't have to deal with her anymore.
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    Holy cow!  No you did nothing wrong.  She went off her rocker big time.  She may come to her senses some day but whether you've moved on by then or not is up to you. 
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    wow.  Why would she care what you do with your dress after you wear it to her wedding?  I'd see if there's any way the store will take it back.  You'd think she'd at least have the decency to kick you out before you paid for the dress.
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