Wedding Party
Options

Ushers?

So far I've been very fortunate with my wedding planning and all the big things have been coming together great.  Now it's just all the little things...

 I have a really good guy friend and a guy cousin that I am really close with that I would like to be involved with the wedding, but I don't want to ask my fiance to make them groomsmen because those should be his closest friends. 

Now my questions are....

* Can you have ushers that aren't groomsmen or are the groomsmen supposed to be the ushers?

* Who is supposed to walk the mother of the bride and the grandmas in? (my dad will be walking me in and my grandpas have been in heaven for many years)

* Are ushers supposed to wear tuxes if they're not groomsmen?

* Would it be okay to have the ushers also be the readers for the ceremony? (we're having a church wedding)

Thanks for your help!

Re: Ushers?

  • Options
    There is no "supposed" in any of this.  That said:

    -You can have GM who aren't ushers and ushers who aren't GM.  They can also be on and the same.  Our GM weren't ushers.
    -My cousins/ushers walked the moms and grandmas in, but I'm sure there are others who can do it (say if you have some male relatives who aren't in the wedding who would like to do it). 
    -Their attire should match the overall formality of the wedding but they don't have to match the GM exactly.  Our GM wore tuxes but our ushers didn't.  I'm not a fan of ushers in tuxes, personally.
    -Why wouldn't the ushers be able to be the readers?  I think it's a great idea.


    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Options
    The answer to literally every one of your questions is that it doesn't matter. Anything is fine. My only slight caveat is that I wouldn't make the ushers wear tuxes unless your wedding is black tie because renting them is expensive and a pain, and I don't think usher is a big enough role for it to matter.
  • Options
    * Can you have ushers that aren't groomsmen or are the groomsmen supposed to be the ushers?
    Groomsmen and ushers do not have to be the same people.  From what I've seen at weddings, they are usually not the same people, but I did see one wedding where one of the groomsmen was an usher.

    * Who is supposed to walk the mother of the bride and the grandmas in? (my dad will be walking me in and my grandpas have been in heaven for many years)
    Whoever you want. It can be the ushers, or if you have a brother or someone that might want to walk your mom or grandmas in.  We will be having an usher escort my mom and FI's grandma, and FI's dad will be escorting FI's mom.

    * Are ushers supposed to wear tuxes if they're not groomsmen?
    They can, but they don't have to.  I've seen in both ways.  I've seen them in tuxes and I've seen them in black pants and a black shirt with a tie to match the wedding colors...it just depends on what you want.

    * Would it be okay to have the ushers also be the readers for the ceremony? (we're having a church wedding)
    Yes, I don't see why not.  We haven't picked a reader yet for our reading, so it will most likely be someone who is already involved in the wedding (usher, BM, GM)
    image
  • Options
    Another thought: you could have them stand as YOUR attendants. It's fine to have mixed-gender wedding parties, and it's fine to have uneven sides. If they are very close to you, this would be very kind and appropriate. And to my knowledge, there aren't any religions that forbid this.

    * Can you have ushers that aren't groomsmen or are the groomsmen supposed to be the ushers? You can have separate ushers and groomsmen, or you can have the groomsmen do the ushering duties. Either is fine.

    * Who is supposed to walk the mother of the bride and the grandmas in? (my dad will be walking me in and my grandpas have been in heaven for many years). Anyone you want. My brother (also a groomsman) escorted my mom. It would be fine if your friend or your cousin escorted them.

    * Are ushers supposed to wear tuxes if they're not groomsmen? Your call. Talk to them about their budgets, and ask if they already own nice suits. Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking someone to rent/buy an outfit if they weren't in the wedding party as a groomsman, but maybe they're O.K. with it. I would also include them in at least a few of the formal bridal party photos.

    * Would it be okay to have the ushers also be the readers for the ceremony? (we're having a church wedding). I don't see why not ... their duties are over once they usher people to their seats, so it's not like they'd be unable to do it. Check with your church to see if your readers must be of the same religion as you, because that's the only reason why I would think a church would say no to this. I'm Catholic and our priest never even asked us if our readers were also Catholic. I've seen other church weddings where bridesmaids/groomsmen have done the readings.
    image
  • Options
    Agreed...whatever works for you.

    Our groomsmen are our ushers.  They will walk the grandparents down, and then my FI will walk his parents down and then my brother (a GM) will walk my mom down.  Then goes the bridesmaids, then the flower girl, then me and my dad. 

    One is a groomsman, usher and reader; so they can be whatever you want them to be. 
    I updated my bio on 06/24/10, however if you want to see my planning bio you have to go to www.lizardlipsplanningbio.weebly.com because I am having a hard time making it clicky!
  • Options
    We have two ushers who only have the "duties" of seating people at the ceremony.  One will walk the Mother of the Groom to her seat (he is a good friend of ours, and longtime friend of my fiance, but has social phobias and wouldn't be comfortable actually standing up and being a "focal point" in the wedding party, but felt that seating people would be enough of a distraction for himself to be alright) and the other is my brother, whom we wanted to include in the wedding, but my fiance had not met until nearly a year into the engagement, so "groomsman" wasn't quite appropriate.  He will be walking my Mother to her seat.

    They are both wearing idential tuxedos, but different from the groomsmen.

    Good luck and congratulations!
    10-10-10
  • Options
    Thanks for all the input!  I'll probably just have them be ushers and readers.  Tuxes are kind of expensive, so I like the idea of having them wear ties that match the wedding colors.  My wedding colors are a dark blue (Marine from David's Bridal) and silver.

    I considered having them stand on my side, but I already have seven bridesmaids.  I have my sister, my ister in law and my fiance's sister that were a given.  Then I have my best friend since kindergarden, two really good friends since high school and one other close friend.  My fiance is including my brother in the groomsmen, but I don't want to ask for anyone else.
  • Options
    If you don't want them on your side, that's totally fine.  But don't let something silly like numbers dictate who stands up with you.  Although I think including them as ushers is a good idea.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards