Fun Way To Ask Bridesmaids!

Ann13579

Hey ladies, just wanted to share a fun idea for "proposing" to your wedding party. I saw all of the fun ideas on Pinterest, and i knew that I wanted to ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding in a fun way, but I wanted to do something original. Here's what I came up with:

My fiance and I hosted our engagement party in the back yard of our new home in August. We were having 8 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen, and we wanted to make them feel special when we asked them instead of just sending them a text or calling them. We came up with the idea of making T-shirts, each shirt having one letter, which spells out "BE IN OUR WEDDING?!".








 During the party we announced that we had a little activity and randomly handed out the shirts to our bridal-party-to-be. We asked them to each put on their shirt, and solve the puzzle. After a few moments of working together, they managed to line up in the correct order. It was so fun to watch these 16 people who were strangers at the beginning of the day work together to solve it!



It gave us a chance to introduce our friends to each other, and to our families who were there!

Did anyone else do anything creative to ask their wedding party to participate?

PrettyGirlLost

Very cool, thanks for sharing!

Jen4948

Not married yet, but if I have a wedding party, I'm just going to ask them in a straightforward way without trying to be "creative," "clever," or "unique."  I'm not knocking you, but all too often, people's attempts to be these things when asking for something come off as none of these whatsoever, just cutesy, cliched, and undignified, and the other people involved don't necessarily appreciate them.

Not only that, what would you have done if one or more of these people had said no?

beardownbchs

Why on earth did you host your own engagement party?

I'm with you, Jen. My FI and I are only having one person each and I asked my sister by saying, "Well, I'm giving you a reason to wear that terrible dress again" (we were BMs in my brother's wedding with very unflattering dresses we both hated).

Ann13579

Actually, I've never been to an engagement party hosted by anyone except the couple, so I'm not sure what that shocks you? Our parents have already been gracious enough to host the wedding/ rehersal dinner, so I can't imagine asking them to add another party to the list!


http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/rehearsal-dinner/qa/whos-hosts-engagement-party.aspx

Jen, I see what you're saying, its definately not the way for everyone to go. My girls and I are so close, and they had all been dancing around the question for so long I had no doubt in my mind that they would all be in wholeheartedly.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fun-way-to-ask-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ee300dd1-4c6b-40ea-a09c-197fdea37c8fPost:57298f8d-4dd5-4099-b458-630e565d0095">Re: Fun Way To Ask Bridesmaids!</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, I've never been to an engagement party hosted by anyone except the couple, so I'm not sure what that shocks you? Our parents have already been gracious enough to host the wedding/ rehersal dinner, so I can't imagine asking them to add another party to the list! <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/rehearsal-dinner/qa/whos-hosts-engagement-party.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/rehearsal-dinner/qa/whos-hosts-engagement-party.aspx</a> Jen, I see what you're saying, its definately not the way for everyone to go. My girls and I are so close, and they had all been dancing around the question for so long I had no doubt in my mind that they would all be in wholeheartedly.
Posted by Ann13579[/QUOTE]

The couple never hosts any of the pre-wedding parties.  These are parties thrown in your honor by others and you also never ask for them to be thrown.  If you get them, great, if you don't, that's life.

Also, do not take etiquette advice from anyone or anything that is part of the wedding industry including TK.  They have no interest in doing things the right way; their only interest is separating people from as much money as possible.  Stick around the boards.  We'll help keep you on the right path.

PrettyGirlLost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fun-way-to-ask-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ee300dd1-4c6b-40ea-a09c-197fdea37c8fPost:b7af1c7e-56fb-4f44-bf5a-5004beb304a5">Re: Fun Way To Ask Bridesmaids!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fun Way To Ask Bridesmaids! : Also, do not take etiquette advice from anyone or anything that is part of the wedding industry including TK.  They have no interest in doing things the right way; their only interest is separating people from as much money as possible. Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

My friend who got married last year had a pretty funny comment about brides on their wedding day and the wedding industry. . .it was a little crass but I thought it was also a bit appropriate.

As far as traditions and ettiquette, I was told by older generations that the engagment party pre-dated the bridal shower. Is this the case?

Ann13579

Actually, I'll be honest, I probably wont "stick around the boards" or around you or count on you or anyone else on here to "keep me on the right path". This was my first day checking out the board here, and I've never come across a bigger bunch of stuck up prudes who think they're the answers to the wedding universe. I've come across probably about a dozen or so posts in the last half hour or so where you and several other notable people did nothing but knock and judge the things that other people are enjoying doing and are proud to display.

I wanted to celebrate my engagement with my family and my fiance's family, so what? We were excited about something exciting in our lives and we wanted to have a party. Who cares if its a "pre-wedding" party? If I want to have my family and his over to OUR house to celebrate this time with us, and they chose to come, and they had fun. Who cares if we foot the bill? its not "if you get them, great, if not, thats life", if i want to celebrate my engagement with my friends and family i'll darn well do as i please.

The way that you and several others on here feel the need to knock down nearly every suggestion or idea that is put out is amazing. I was literally just on a board where you were telling a woman she wasn't entitled to a wedding because she had a courthouse "wedding" first. Who ARE YOU to even say that? You don't know her situation, who in EARTH gave you the power to decide if a wedding is allowable or not?


I'll go back to my wedding planning bliss now with my wonderful supportive fiance doing things the way that we want with our wedding, and enjoy our day with our guests, and you can enjoy knocking people on a wedding board all day long. Don't bother replying, wont be checked.

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fun-way-to-ask-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ee300dd1-4c6b-40ea-a09c-197fdea37c8fPost:391f251a-df12-434f-9e34-0d96efd1a1d8">Re: Fun Way To Ask Bridesmaids!</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, I'll be honest, I probably wont "stick around the boards" or around you or count on you or anyone else on here to "keep me on the right path". This was my first day checking out the board here, and I've never come across a bigger bunch of stuck up prudes who think they're the answers to the wedding universe. I've come across probably about a dozen or so posts in the last half hour or so where you and several other notable people did nothing but knock and judge the things that other people are enjoying doing and are proud to display. I wanted to celebrate my engagement with my family and my fiance's family, so what? We were excited about something exciting in our lives and we wanted to have a party. Who cares if its a "pre-wedding" party? If I want to have my family and his over to OUR house to celebrate this time with us, and they chose to come, and they had fun. Who cares if we foot the bill? its not "if you get them, great, if not, thats life", if i want to celebrate my engagement with my friends and family i'll darn well do as i please. The way that you and several others on here feel the need to knock down nearly every suggestion or idea that is put out is amazing. <strong>I was literally just on a board where you were telling a woman she wasn't entitled to a wedding because she had a courthouse "wedding" first. </strong>Who ARE YOU to even say that? You don't know her situation, who in EARTH gave you the power to decide if a wedding is allowable or not? I'll go back to my wedding planning bliss now with my wonderful supportive fiance doing things the way that we want with our wedding, and enjoy our day with our guests, and you can enjoy knocking people on a wedding board all day long. Don't bother replying, wont be checked.
Posted by Ann13579[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Don't you dare put that in quotes. There are plenty of people who would LOVE to have the privilege of being able to be legally wed that can't. A wedding is when you get married, so yes, that person cannot have a wedding when she is already married.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, I feel sorry for your wedding party. You sound super high maintenance.

</div>

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fun-way-to-ask-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ee300dd1-4c6b-40ea-a09c-197fdea37c8fPost:391f251a-df12-434f-9e34-0d96efd1a1d8">Re: Fun Way To Ask Bridesmaids!</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, I'll be honest, I probably wont "stick around the boards" or around you or count on you or anyone else on here to "keep me on the right path". This was my first day checking out the board here, and I've never come across a bigger bunch of stuck up prudes who think they're the answers to the wedding universe. I've come across probably about a dozen or so posts in the last half hour or so where you and several other notable people did nothing but knock and judge the things that other people are enjoying doing and are proud to display. I wanted to celebrate my engagement with my family and my fiance's family, so what? We were excited about something exciting in our lives and we wanted to have a party. Who cares if its a "pre-wedding" party? If I want to have my family and his over to OUR house to celebrate this time with us, and they chose to come, and they had fun. Who cares if we foot the bill? its not "if you get them, great, if not, thats life", if i want to celebrate my engagement with my friends and family i'll darn well do as i please. The way that you and several others on here feel the need to knock down nearly every suggestion or idea that is put out is amazing. I was literally just on a board where you were telling a woman she wasn't entitled to a wedding because she had a courthouse "wedding" first. Who ARE YOU to even say that? You don't know her situation, who in EARTH gave you the power to decide if a wedding is allowable or not? I'll go back to my wedding planning bliss now with my wonderful supportive fiance doing things the way that we want with our wedding, and enjoy our day with our guests, and you can enjoy knocking people on a wedding board all day long. Don't bother replying, wont be checked.
Posted by Ann13579[/QUOTE]

You cannot change FACTS.  If you get married at a courthouse, that is your wedding.  That is a FACT.  Another "wedding" is a reenactment and not real.  That is a FACT.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fun-way-to-ask-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ee300dd1-4c6b-40ea-a09c-197fdea37c8fPost:391f251a-df12-434f-9e34-0d96efd1a1d8">Re: Fun Way To Ask Bridesmaids!</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, I'll be honest, I probably wont "stick around the boards" or around you or count on you or anyone else on here to "keep me on the right path". This was my first day checking out the board here, and I've never come across a bigger bunch of stuck up prudes who think they're the answers to the wedding universe. I've come across probably about a dozen or so posts in the last half hour or so where you and several other notable people did nothing but knock and judge the things that other people are enjoying doing and are proud to display. I wanted to celebrate my engagement with my family and my fiance's family, so what? We were excited about something exciting in our lives and we wanted to have a party. Who cares if its a "pre-wedding" party? If I want to have my family and his over to OUR house to celebrate this time with us, and they chose to come, and they had fun. Who cares if we foot the bill? its not "if you get them, great, if not, thats life", if i want to celebrate my engagement with my friends and family i'll darn well do as i please. The way that you and several others on here feel the need to knock down nearly every suggestion or idea that is put out is amazing. I was literally just on a board where you were telling a woman she wasn't entitled to a wedding because she had a courthouse "wedding" first. Who ARE YOU to even say that? You don't know her situation, who in EARTH gave you the power to decide if a wedding is allowable or not? I'll go back to my wedding planning bliss now with my wonderful supportive fiance doing things the way that we want with our wedding, and enjoy our day with our guests, and you can enjoy knocking people on a wedding board all day long. Don't bother replying, wont be checked.
Posted by Ann13579[/QUOTE]

I think you may enjoy WeddingBee much better.  They will blow so much smoke up your butt you will be floating down the aisle on your wedding day.  Don't let the door hit you in the rear on the way out.

ccvasquez

That is pretty creative. I just asked them in person, one at a time.  The first was my maid of honor and I was out of town visiting his family when he proposed, so I called her on the phone that night!  The others I waited several weeks and approached them individually.  I hope all goes well with your wedded bliss.
Just ignore the negativity found on some responses if they don't address your question. 

jemmini6

OP, I think you are confusing 'opinions' with 'facts'.  Most of the things the regulars counsel new posters on are the FACTS of wedding etiquette.  Can you host your own engagment party?  Of course, no one here will stop you, but according to wedding etiquette that has been steadfast for decades, it is inappropriate, which is what people will comment on.  

Obviously, if your family was okay with you hosting your own engagment party (which they'd probably never comment on to your face, but you probably know them well enough to know if they'd judge you for it), then it's a moot point.  However, for other posters who may read this post because they have a similar question, then it doesn't harm anyone to mention the 'correct' etiquette of that situation, in case other posters' families aren't as accomodating.

But...the honesty of this site isn't for everyone, so if you aren't finding The Knot boards to your liking, no one will be upset if you don't stick around.

allychase

Thank goodness I don't know you and wasn't invited to your self-hosted gift giving party.