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Mom wants me to change my date!

I told my parents a few weeks ago that I'm getting married--since then, they've been after me to change my date for numerous reasons.  1) It's my last semester of college and my current plan is to have a destination wedding in October 2) They would like to contribute money and would be able to save if I waited.  I realize the work that is involved with a wedding and know I'll be able to handle it with school...And I also told my parents that I appreciate the money offer, but I know they are in a tough financial spot with 2 kids in college and recent health problems--my FI and I -can- pay for the wedding by ourselves.  I just really don't want to hurt my parent's feelings. 

Re: Mom wants me to change my date!

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_mom-wants-change-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f16ed14b-470d-493a-88eb-4a5b9941a642Post:0a73f447-a6c8-4de7-bcf8-26a4518bfa56">Mom wants me to change my date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I told my parents a few weeks ago that I'm getting married--since then, they've been after me to change my date for numerous reasons.  1) It's my last semester of college and my current plan is to have a destination wedding in October 2) They would like to contribute money and would be able to save if I waited.  I realize the work that is involved with a wedding and know I'll be able to handle it with school...And I also told my parents that I appreciate the money offer, but I know they are in a tough financial spot with 2 kids in college and recent health problems--my FI and I -can- pay for the wedding by ourselves.  I just really don't want to hurt my parent's feelings. 
    Posted by jdalke88[/QUOTE]

    Well, ultimately it is up to you. But if you don't want to hurt their feelings, then maybe wait? You will just have to decide which is more important to you.
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    If you and fiance can pay for wedding, go for it !  You'll be saving your parents money and stress
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    If you want to have a small DW you pay for yourselves, I say go for it.  
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    If you're paying for it yourselves, then do what you want.

    However, money issues aside, I think it would be very wise to wait until you finish school (and also get full-time jobs and experience life a bit) before you get married. I wonder if that is partly their concern? Honestly, I wouldn't be too jazzed either if my college student kid wanted to get married.

    But, if you're adults and can pay for everything yourselves, then that's your right.
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    I think your mom is right in waiting until you're done with school. The last semester can be a real bitch, especially if you're taking seminar classes. I don't know why you'd want to deal with a wedding at the same time as exams, final papers, and finishing up school. The smart thing to do is to wait, and if I were a mother I wouldn't be too excited about my kid getting married her last semester either.
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    I would delay it by a few months, maybe until January or so.  Not in order to get your mom's financial contributions, but because it's amazing how busy your last semester can be.  My last semester of college was insane between classes, a research class, work and trying to spend time with DH. 

    While my last semester of grad school wasn't quite as bad, it was nothing like the rest of grad school and I still ran out of time to do everything I needed while trying to finish up my capstone research paper and presentation, finish planning the wedding for a week after graduation, going to DH's graduation, moving both him and my sister, planning a move and job searching.  I haven't been able to get done nearly everything I needed to do, even with a ton of help from DH.

    Ultimately though, the decision is up to you because it's your money.
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    I don't think you *have* to change it, but I personally wouldn't feel comfortable getting married on a date that I knew my dad didn't agree with - assuming that he had real reasons for objecting and that he'd be ok with a date that was reasonably close to the one I was thinking of (like a couple months later). I think your parents' concern of you trying to fit everything in with school is legit, and as long as they're not trying to get you to push it back by a long time, I'd probably try to figure out a compromise with them.
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    I agree about waiting until you're done school. You haven't started those courses yet. You don't know how hard they will be!
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    We specifically set the date for two years after we got engaged so that I wouldn't have to deal with planning during my last year of undergrad.  And it really paid off, because I went months at a time without even so much as thinking about the wedding, because I simply didn't have the time.  It was a HUGE relief to be able to set it aside completely and focus on finishing my degree, then pick things up after graduation without feeling that I was horrifically behind schedule.

    If there's some pressing reason that you have to be married ASAP and you can afford it on your own, then go for it sooner.  But I see nothing wrong with waiting, and it might help you in the long run.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_mom-wants-change-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f16ed14b-470d-493a-88eb-4a5b9941a642Post:73fddf17-d8bd-4bcf-a55f-7cb63d4261ed">Re: Mom wants me to change my date!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We specifically set the date for two years after we got engaged so that I wouldn't have to deal with planning during my last year of undergrad.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this. I am a year from finishing classes and then I have an internship to complete before graduating. I don't want to be planning a wedding while doing either of those things, especially because the wedding will be in my hometown in Wisconsin and I will be living with my fiance ourside of Washington D.C.

    I agree with waiting a little until after finishing school (even if it's a month after graduation), especially if you're doing a destination wedding.

    Also, what do you mean by "paying for everything"? Are you also paying for the plane tickets and accomidations for your parents and sibling? That might be part of their financial concern if they have to pay for their flight and hotel room.
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