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Wedding Party

Would you side-eye me?

It's too late at this point, because they've all been asked, but I guess I should have gotten some feedback ahead of time... Undecided

I'll be having 8 BMs, 2 Jr. BMs, 4 GMs, and 1 Jr. GM.  And a flower girl.

Ends up to be a whopping 16-person wedding party- 18 including us.  If it helps, 3 of my 8 are his family members. 

So... bad? I'm getting a complex.



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Re: Would you side-eye me?

  • I do tend to roll my eyes at huge wedding parties, but it's certainly not the end of the world.  BTW, you could have his family members stand on his side.
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  • It is what it is.  I might find it odd if your guest list is under 100.
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  • FWIW, the guest list is like 180... I mean I'm clearly pretty far out so that's not LOCKED IN or anything, but that's what it's looking like.

    And quotequeen, I was considering that.  Plus I'm going to ask the church if they're allowed to just... sit. That'd be cool.
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  • I was in a wedding a few years ago where I was one of eight BM's, and there were eight groomsmen.  It was a lot, but it was what she wanted.
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  • I would side eye you but it is what it is. You've asked. 
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  • Yes it's too many but it's okay, your wedding ,your decisions
  • I would not side eye you but I think that the amount of BM- GM is a little odd. But you are welcome to do as you want it is your wedding
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  • No. DH and I had 7 BMs, 7 GM, 2 HP and 2 Ushers.

    One friend of mine had 11 BMs and 10 HP and 11 GM.

    I just feel sorry for you having to buy presents for all of those people. BM gifts just about killed my budget.
  • As long as you're close to all of them, there isn't anything wrong with it.  It will be difficult to get so many WP gifts, and it will be a challenge getting BM dresses if you want them to match (this would be a good example of when to just give them a color and designer, or even just a color, and let them choose their own).

    FWIW, FI and I will probably both have 6--I feel like we got a little happy with the asking, but they're the ones that are closest to us, and we want them standing with us.
  • I think its fine.  I think the amount of BMs compared to GMs is a little odd since its such a big difference, so I would definitely think about his sisters on his side.

    Also, like you said see if they can sit during the ceremony.  We had 5 on each side, and only the MOH and BM stood at the altar with us.  The rest of the WP sat in the first pew on each side.  I went to a wedding yesterday that had 6 BMs and 7 GM, and all of them stood on the altar with them during the ceremony, in a very small church.  It looked really weird and too cluttered up there.

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  • Anything more than 6 on either side earns you a "well that's kind of excessive" from me, but it's one of those things where you're not hurting anyone, so I don't really care. It's not like I'd sit through your whole ceremony judging you for it.
  • I went to a wedding once that had a 30-person WP (16 BM, 14 GM).  By comparison, yours doesn't seem to big.  But objectively, yes, it's a big WP. 
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  • To best honest I wish it could have been smaller, but in the same thought I feel like there's nobody in the party that's one of those not-so-close friends or something.  It's almost all family members.

    So, okay, oh well.  Thanks for the opinions, everyone, I appreciate it.  Sucks I'll be laughed at, but I guess I'm not that worried in the long run.
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