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Firing a Groomsmen

abbeyc02abbeyc02
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I'm having a huge problem! I wanted one of my best guy friends to be in our wedding but lately he hasn't been much of a friend to me or my fiance. How can I go about firing him? I don't want this to ruin our friendship but in reality he hasn't been involved enough to be a groomsmen. 

Please help me!

Thanks,
Abbey
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Re: Firing a Groomsmen

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited October 2010
    Seriously?

    This will help: Firing a groomsman (it's clicky!)

    ETA: So will this: Firing a Bridesmaid 

    ETA2: And so will this: Firing a bridesmaid
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    You may find this advice helpful:


    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsman

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-moh-1

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fired

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-bridesmaid-1


    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Meg--jinx!
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    Brooke, I believe we now owe each other beverages of the carbonated nature Tongue out

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    Go. Away.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Just a note for future reference:  it helps to look at at least some of the posts on a board before asking the same question that's been asked more than a half dozen times on just the first page of this board. 

    I also suggest that you read the post titled "It's not always about the wedding".  That will be a big help to you.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • saisongbirdsaisongbird
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Ok, seriously?  Seriously?  LURK AND READ.  This question has been answered at least 10 times in the past 3 days.

    The answer is no, you can't fire a groomsman.  All they have to do is show up, in the appropriate attire, clean and sober, and smile in pictures.  Maybe they have to help escort some people to their seats, but that's about it.  It is not their job to "help" with anything.  Do they usually attend the rehearsal dinner and throw the groom a bachelor party?  Yes.  Is it required?  No.

    Also, if this is your FI's friend, HE should be talking to the guy about what's going on with the friendship.  If it's YOUR friend, then talk to him about what's going on about why he's been absent.  And repeat this, over and over: "No one will ever be as excited for my wedding as I am."
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Being in a wedding party is not a job, therefore you cannot "fire" someone.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    ::bangs head on desk::
    ::drifting out of consciousness......
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:4c59d420-4f27-430f-a34b-57a00256eef1">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]::bangs head on desk:: ::drifting out of consciousness......
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    At this point, I think they're doing it just to get a rise out of us.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:648deeb7-88c1-43e1-a8f0-1ed6c5492a5c">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Firing a Groomsmen : At this point, I think they're doing it just to get a rise out of us.
    Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]
    I'm starting to suspect the same thing.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:648deeb7-88c1-43e1-a8f0-1ed6c5492a5c">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Firing a Groomsmen : At this point, I think they're doing it just to get a rise out of us.
    Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

    That's why I'm choosing unconsciousness.  Something else you'll learn in the next few years:  Old time attorneys keep bottles of scotch in their desks for a reason.  Younger ones just know the nearest bar.  In fact, there are usually bars in close proximity to law offices; extra points if it's in their building.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited October 2010
    Haha Tricia by the end of *orientation* at my job this summer we knew where all the bars were.  (Ditto the end of the first day of law school orientation, come to think of it...)
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    For me, a bad day meant meeting people at a bar.  A really bad day constituted a bottle of wine and a big plate of pasta - usually cheese and spinach tortellini in a roasted tomato cream sauce.  I won't be an alcoholic, just 500lbs.
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:375d8d06-68ee-4786-8870-b213172d58d3">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]For me, a bad day meant meeting people at a bar.  A really bad day constituted a bottle of wine and a big plate of pasta - usually cheese and spinach tortellini in a roasted tomato cream sauce.  I won't be an alcoholic, just 500lbs.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    I fear the copious amounts of pasta and carbohydrates I will be eating.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:706ed84a-2343-4deb-b5e7-61c3577c0540">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Firing a Groomsmen : I fear the copious amounts of pasta and carbohydrates I will be eating.
    Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

    Not gonna lie here.  I'm 5'7".  When I started law school I was 125lbs.  At the end, 145. When I moved here 165.  Lost 10 lbs before bar study to put me at 155.  After sitting for the bar 160.  After eating all the leftover cake and not wanting to go to the gym for the past month, I'm at 162.  Just signed up for MyPlate and have now started back at the gym.  I miss being  a size 8, but I'll never be 125lbs again.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited October 2010
    One more thing Kate.  You'll have a leg up on everyone else starting law school - you already have a support group with Brooke and me (if we haven't already scared the bejeezus out of you).  Wink
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    JUST IN CASE you didn't find your answer, you could always check out the FAQ at the top of the page.  That's why it's a sticky, marked "New here, READ FIRST."
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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:cb26010b-b957-49d7-9214-1b89bb176841">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]One more thing Kate.  You'll have a leg up on everyone else starting law school - you already have a support group with Brooke and me (if we haven't already scared the bejeezus out of you). 
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I'm scared. But it's okay. I just ask that you tolerate me coming on here and crying/screaming/venting over some new travesty every once in awhile. Prepare for the first one on November 1st (LSAT scores come back then).
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:d262e886-9a7f-45c3-90fe-b5ae1b43d5a2">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Firing a Groomsmen : Oh, I'm scared. But it's okay. I just ask that you tolerate me coming on here and crying/screaming/venting over some new travesty every once in awhile. Prepare for the first one on November 1st (LSAT scores come back then).
    Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

    There's a lot that I wish I'd known before day 1 of being a 1L.  I think Brooke feels the same.  That's why we've been telling you anything that comes to mind now.  Just remember that we survived, you will too.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:11665837-d71d-4d04-88ab-5b38837af39f">Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm having a huge problem! I wanted one of my best guy friends to be in our wedding but lately he hasn't been much of a friend to me or my fiance. How can I go about firing him? I don't want this to ruin our friendship but in reality he hasn't been involved enough to be a groomsmen.  Please help me! Thanks, Abbey
    Posted by abbeyc02[/QUOTE]

    He's not "involved enough"?

    WTF are you expecting him to be doing?
    image
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  • abbeyc02abbeyc02
    First Comment
    Actually ladies, I have not got on this message board at all! 

    So I don't know what questions have been asked and/or answered. 

    In my situation, the groomsmen has been stealing money from where we both work so I think I should fire him because he is basically stealing money from me. 

    THANK YOU!
    Report Reply
  • abbeyc02abbeyc02
    First Comment
    And he's my gay best friend so I would think he would be want to be involved in all of this planning! 
    Report Reply
  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:05ff0f56-b6ee-4987-a543-35f6fcccf1ce">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]And he's my gay best friend so I would think he would be want to be involved in all of this planning! 
    Posted by abbeyc02[/QUOTE]

    You'd better be a troll.

    You wouldn't just bust into a conversation without kind of introducing yourself and getting to know the people you were talking to, right? Same goes for the boards.

    What does him being gay have to do with anything? Does that mean guys who want to be involved in planning have to be gay?

    Why did you feel the need to mention this? This is yet another pit fall you could have avoided if you had gotten a feel for the board before you busted on in here with your poor manners and stereotypical comments. Wow.

    And your groomsmen are not required to help you plan. Nor is the rest of your wedding party or family. You and your FI plan your wedding. The end. If you don't like it, elope.

    If someone is stealing money from you, then cut off ties and the WP thing takes care of itself. Not that I believe you.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited October 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:05ff0f56-b6ee-4987-a543-35f6fcccf1ce">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]And he's my gay best friend so I would think he would be want to be involved in all of this planning! 
    Posted by abbeyc02[/QUOTE]
    Why on earth would you think that?  On what planet does liking penis automatically equate to wanting to help someone choose napkin colors?

    The only people required to have a hand in the planning are you and your FI.  If it's more than what you can handle together, scale back or hire a planner.  It's just a party, it's not that complicated.

    And yes, on any online community currently in existence, you are expected to become at least passingly familiar with the rules of posting and the FAQs, and if you skip that crucial step, you can expect to be raked over the coals for it.  Welcome to the interwebz.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:05ff0f56-b6ee-4987-a543-35f6fcccf1ce">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]And he's my gay best friend so I would think he would be want to be involved in all of this planning! 
    Posted by abbeyc02[/QUOTE]
    Obviously he doesn't have any taste, if he's friends with you.

    Way to sterotype there, OP.  What an ignorant statement.
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_firing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f798ec03-f7bf-486c-ba8c-a3019e60e49cPost:6f364bb3-64d0-4476-be5a-46fdcec963ef">Re: Firing a Groomsmen</a>:
    [QUOTE]Actually ladies, I have not got on this message board at all!  So I don't know what questions have been asked and/or answered.  In my situation, the groomsmen has been stealing money from where we both work so I think I should fire him because he is basically stealing money from me.  THANK YOU!
    Posted by abbeyc02[/QUOTE]
    So... him stealing money = him not being involved enough in your planning process.  Maybe he was stealing the money to throw you a kick ass bachelorette party.  At a drag show.  You know, because gay men are into that stuff, right?
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    It never occurred to you to read other posts on a message board before posting a question yourself?  That's the netiquette on every message board on every website.

    Anyhoo, you keep changing your story and are making generalizations, so I'm gonna go ahead and call troll.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    Brooke, if you want to see another, more entertaining troll, click here


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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The FAQ?
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
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