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sorry my rant....i have to listen to HOW many toasts?? seriously.

I know we are super great and excellent and Justin and I are the perfect couple and and am even better together and yada yada yada, but how do I get FMIL to refrain from the hour and a half long list of toasts she wants telling us all this is several different ways, by five different people who probably dont want to do the speech thing anywayz?

seriously here is her list:
FMIL/FFIL
MOB
MOH/BM
BM/GM
MC (FBIL/FSIL)
Uncle so and so from FI's side
Uncle so and so "   "
Aunt " " from FI's side...
...oh and I'm sure steph that you have people from your family who want to give a speech...maybe all your brothers can each give one... (omg I have FOUR! ) HELLS NO!

oh and they all have "names" and who is supposed to toast whom...like "toast the the bm's, toast to the gm's, toast to the tablecloth, fork, knife...i dunno ....wow. She tells me the BM does the toast to the bridesmaids...and tells them how great they all look...and they do this over and over again until we all die of boredom. My thoughts are " they are sitting there dressed in their finest for all to see?? Did we need Cpt. Obvious to make a speech and point that out or can we eat already?"

Has anyone else had issues like this? re speeches?? I also love how she told my sister who has crazy body issues and severe social anxiety that she "must" make a speech or everyone will wonder why she did not do a speech  (Well actually my family all knows EXACTLY why) I promptly told her in front of FMIL that no one expects her to make a speech and the family only rehearsal dinner might be a better place for it if she should decide to want to later.

What is this obsession with speeches?? Does FMIL not understand that I will not have eaten in a bit and will probably slide under the table and begin the crawl to the buffet?? One wedding for his family last summer we did not eat until 9pm because of all the stupid speeches full of inside jokes no one got and the ceremony was at 3pm the older crowd was freaking!!! (and I was ready to split and go to McD's) My thought on this is its really disrespectful to guests to have that many useless speeches that have nothing to do with the couple. Thoughts?? comments to my rant?? thanks for listening to me vent ladies!

My idea of the perfect toast

Yay! Stephanie and Justin finally married! We are all so happy! Now lets go eat all this awsome food from the menu they have created for us and party it up! (insert "love you guys" "your are the greatest" "welcome to the family"... whatever you want under two sentances lol.)
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