Who would you choose?

HISMICHELLEOBAMA220

I have 2 best friends both I love and respect equally, however 1 is more financially stable and the other I have known my whole entire life! Neither are married, and both feel its their duty to be my maid of honor! I am helping my childhood friend with some of the purchases, because my god son (her son) will also be in the wedding party. My other best friend thinks this isn't fair, and wants the maid role to herself! What do I say and do to make this ticky tack problem go away!

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_who-would-you-choose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fab270d9-9cc6-406b-8699-487a813fa992Post:450cd857-716b-4835-87c2-22b27bd54f97">Who would you choose?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have 2 best friends both I love and respect equally, however<strong> 1 is more financially stable</strong> and the other I have known my whole entire life! Neither are married, and both feel its their duty to be my maid of honor! I am helping my childhood friend with some of the purchases, because my god son (her son) will also be in the wedding party. My other best friend thinks this isn't fair, and wants the maid role to herself! What do I say and do to make this ticky tack problem go away!
Posted by HISMICHELLEOBAMA220[/QUOTE]

Their financial stability has absolutely NO bearing on who you ask to be in your WP.

Why don't you just make them both MOHs or make them both BMs? Problem solved. If your friend whines that she wants to be the sole MOH, then she has issues, not you.

michellesean

I agree with PP.  I'm in the same exact position.  One friend I've known since we were 3, the other girl I met about 6 years ago, both will be my MOH and they didn't see anything wrong with the situation.  Tell them that they are both special to you and you want them both there standing up for you.

mbcdefg

Pick your closest friend as the MOH, or have them both be co-Maids of Honor if you can't choose between them, or don't have a MOH at all if you don't want to designate one (have them all be bridesmaids).

"My closest friend(s)" is the only deciding factor. Not financial stability, ability/desire to help you plan the wedding, ability/desire to throw a shower or bachelorette for you, where they live, how long you've known them, how much they beg you to be MOH, etc. Your closest friend(s). Period.

ETA: And a HUGE ditto to Fancypantsamy. Not only is it causing you a lot of problems to tell the one girl that you're financially assisting the other girl, but it's pretty rude of you to tell a third party about someone else's money problems. Lesson learned ... it's none of the other girl's business what you or the cash-strapped girl do with your money.

Fancypantsamy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_who-would-you-choose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fab270d9-9cc6-406b-8699-487a813fa992Post:450cd857-716b-4835-87c2-22b27bd54f97">Who would you choose?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have 2 best friends both I love and respect equally, however 1 is more financially stable and the other I have known my whole entire life! Neither are married, and both feel its their duty to be my maid of honor! I am helping my childhood friend with some of the purchases, because my god son (her son) will also be in the wedding party.<strong> My other best friend thinks this isn't fair</strong>, and wants the maid role to herself! <strong>What do I say</strong> <strong>and do to make this ticky tack problem go away!</strong>
Posted by HISMICHELLEOBAMA220[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">A really nice gesture to your oldest friend would be not to talk about her financial situation with the other BM anymore. There is no reason why financially stable BM had to know that you're paying for things for the other one.<div>
</div><div>I think this ticky tack situtation of yours would smooth out exponentially if you started saying a little less. </div></div></div>

QueerFemme

I think you made an error by sharing someone else's financial situation.  Maybe you could solve the problem by paying for the other person's stuff also. 

aerinpegadrak

We paid for stuff for some of our WP, but not others, depending on who needed it, but we didn't share it with anyone else.  No one has a right to know anyone else's financials unless they're entering into a professional relationship.

joe&cassie

I think it is perfectly acceptable to have two "honor attendants".  I am going to have a maid of honor and matron of honor and FI is having a best sister and best man.  My maid of honor is my twin sister and my best friend is the matron of honor.  I just could never decide between my twin and my best friend who is also like a sister.  I am her baby's godmother and she lived with us for awhile.  She is considered family.  Do whatever you feel is right.

LizzyRB

I ended up choosing to have no MOH and 4 BMsI don't know how big your WP is, but for me, my group is all pretty close anyway. So far it's been easy and I have actually been glad not just one person is singled out.

bratto06

how much money each make has nothing to do with it..being a MOH is a huge honor...it should be someone that is very very special to you that will cause no drama or added stress but be there to support and love you through this wonderful time