dress problems

nekiah

i have 3 bridesmaids and 2 maids of honor. i have found everyones dress except for one of the maids of honor. i am having a hard time finding a dress that covers her body flaws that is the satin which is the materials the other girls dresses, please help me

alyssalowe

Idk why you wouldnt have her in the same dress as the other girls or is everyones different. Satin doesnt do well to hide anyones flaws...

nekiah

my bridesmaids dresses are the same but my two maid of honors dresses are different

mbcdefg

Has SHE looked for dresses at all? She should at least be trying on things that you suggest for her ... you shouldn't just be picking out dresses for your girls and telling them, "Here, this is what you'll be wearing."

Go with her to a bridal salon and let her try things on, and see what she likes and what looks nice on her. Or let her do it on her own ... tell her the designer, color and skirt length you want her to pick from, and then she can choose her own style from there.

Or pick a designer, color, fabric and skirt length, and then let ALL the bridesmaids choose their own outfits. If they're paying for, and wearing, these dresses, then it's very wrong if you're picking out the dresses on their behalf and not giving them any input.

If you ARE giving them input, and this girl is having trouble finding something she likes, then just keep looking. What's the problem, exactly? If it's about the satin, then like PP said maybe consider a different fabric that's more forgiving.

aerinpegadrak

I wouldn't get too hung up on the material.  It's not like anyone is going to notice or care; my girls all wore different materials and it worked out fine.

nekiah

thanks that is what i was asking if fabrics could be mixed i wasnt sure

nekiah

we will be going to the dress shop today, but i prefer to pick my bridesmaid dresses, because there is a certain look i have in mind, and i am not a fan of everyone having a  different dress.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dress-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fad071b2-6207-43d2-84e0-2ac3e9ba538dPost:2c0a5945-708a-43a6-88e7-80db2dd4522e">Re: dress problems</a>:
[QUOTE]we will be going to the dress shop today, but i prefer to pick my bridesmaid dresses, because there is a certain look i have in mind, and i am not a fan of everyone having a  different dress.
Posted by nekiah[/QUOTE]

Is this "look" more important than the comfort and happiness of your (supposedly) good friend?  Let her wear something that makes her feel beautiful.

nekiah

but if what makes her feel beautifull is inappropriate it wont be worn in  MY wedding i am not even sure how the post even came to a discussion about who is picking the dressed, because the bottom line is i will have the final say so as to the dresses. My bridesmaids dont have probolem so i dont really see what the big deal is. Everyone chooses to do things their own way, and this is the way i choose to do mine

mbcdefg

You can have the final say ("I like dresses 1, 2, and 3 ... try them on and see if you like any of them"), but you can't just pick something and say, "Here, you have to wear this."

nekiah

but i can and i will. i have asked the girl how they feel about the dresses and they love them. we have been to stores several times tried on different styles and discussed how they feel about the dress. I just dont understand why you are so adamanent in telling me what i can and can not do with my wedding.

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dress-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fad071b2-6207-43d2-84e0-2ac3e9ba538dPost:4638c894-086b-4570-8282-51815158c2de">Re: dress problems</a>:
[QUOTE]but i can and i will. <strong>i have asked the girl how they feel about the dresses and they love them. we have been to stores several times tried on different styles and discussed how they feel about the dress. </strong>
Posted by nekiah[/QUOTE]

I don't know why you're arguing. It appears that you're doing exactly what everyone is suggesting (giving the bridesmaids input and letting them vote on what they like), so what's the problem here?

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dress-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fad071b2-6207-43d2-84e0-2ac3e9ba538dPost:4638c894-086b-4570-8282-51815158c2de">Re: dress problems</a>:
[QUOTE]I just dont understand why you are so adamanent in telling me what i can and can not do with my wedding.
Posted by nekiah[/QUOTE]

Because it's common sense not to boss your friends around. And the "I can and will [do whatever I want]" attitude is really dangerous, if you want to keep these people as friends AFTER your wedding. Your wedding doesn't give you carte blanche to do whatever you want ... not when it comes to other people, anyway.

banana468

Ditto malphabet.  If you're already bouncing ideas off of them then you're already doing the right thing.

gottahavashorti

Ditto malphabet - it sounds like you are giving them some input, but you're making the final decision.  Which is fine.  What's not fine is saying "here, wear this dress and only this dress and I don't care that it sucks" if it's terribly unflattering on them.

Choose a few options you'd be happy with.  Let your MOH choose one of those dresses.  Or give her veto power over the options that make her feel self conscious.

nekiah

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dress-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fad071b2-6207-43d2-84e0-2ac3e9ba538dPost:08319056-97ac-44a7-ac79-0a4f051efce2">Re: dress problems</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: dress problems : I don't know why you're arguing. It appears that you're doing exactly what everyone is suggesting (giving the bridesmaids input and letting them vote on what they like), so what's the problem here? In Response to Re: dress problems : Because it's common sense not to boss your friends around. And the "I can and will [do whatever I want]" attitude is really dangerous, if you want to keep these people as friends AFTER your wedding. Your wedding doesn't give you carte blanche to do whatever you want ... not when it comes to other people, anyway.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

what i am trying to get you to understand is you cant impose your views on people, because everyone is different YOU are the one that has a problem with me picking my bridesmaid dresses instead of allowing them to vote or pick their one. They have no problem with it because they are doing the same thing. Its common sense to know when your opinion is not valued and keep it to yourself.

nekiah

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dress-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fad071b2-6207-43d2-84e0-2ac3e9ba538dPost:09f95960-9c0b-431c-b003-d17ec6190f06">Re: dress problems</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto malphabet - it sounds like you are giving them some input, but you're making the final decision.  Which is fine.  What's not fine is saying "here, wear this dress and only this dress and I don't care that it sucks" if it's terribly unflattering on them. Choose a few options you'd be happy with.  Let your MOH choose one of those dresses.  Or give her veto power over the options that make her feel self conscious.
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]

Thanks that's what we ended up doing today and we are able to get everbodys dress squared away

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dress-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:fad071b2-6207-43d2-84e0-2ac3e9ba538dPost:421d0938-3c9b-406a-9568-edc3ec7764c4">Re: dress problems</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: dress problems : what i am trying to get you to understand is you cant impose your views on people, because everyone is different YOU are the one that has a problem with me picking my bridesmaid dresses instead of allowing them to vote or pick their one. They have no problem with it because they are doing the same thing. Its common sense to know when your opinion is not valued and keep it to yourself.
Posted by nekiah[/QUOTE]

You can't forbid people from posting their opinions on a public message board. If you don't like what people have to say, tough shiit. Don't follow their advice, then.

And people aren't saying to give your bridesmaids input because they want to boss you around or make you do it their way. They're saying this because a lot of people here have seen, or been in, situations where brides have lost friendships because they bossed their bridesmaids around or gave them zero input. It's not a "Do it my way" situation, it's a "Your friends will appreciate this" situation. Just beacuse someone says to your face that she's happy with your decision, doesn't mean that she's not talking crap behind your back about it. And people here have seen that happen a million times.

You're entitled to do things your way if it doesn't affect anyone. I would never talk you out of having dresses in a color I didn't like, or to serve a cake in a flavor I hate. But if you ask for advice on how to deal with other people, then people on this board are going to give you advice based on how THEY would want to be treated. If it doesn't affect any of your friends, then do whatever the hell you want. If it affects your friendships and how you treat people, then people here are going to call you out on it if you ask how to handle that situation.

However, I still don't understand why you're getting so defensive, because it appears that you're giving them input anyway. So I don't know why you're getting pissy with everyone.

deb84

I think the question you were trying to ask is if she can wear a different fabric...YES, the different fabrics may dye slightly differently but not enough that people will notice. 

To avoid extra drama please be clear about what you are asking...

nekiah

Thanks we were able to find a dress that was different but had some of the same material as the other girls dresses