How old is too old???

huckie

My FI is the fifth, youngest, and only guy of his family. His sisters (all married, with children) range from 33 to 43.  His oldest sister once told him that she'd feel ridiculous as a bridesmaid, so I don't want to give her the option and have her feel pressured to say yes if she really doesn't want to do it.  On the other hand, I would feel like I'm the "bad guy" to their family if I don't ask her and ask the other three.  The other three sisters I know would love to be in the bridal party.  Is it rude to ask his oldest sister and her husband to do the readings while the others are in the wedding party? 

FYI- We are both very close with our families.  I already have 2 sisters (my 2 MOHs) and a best friend in the party. 

aerinpegadrak

A request to be a bridesmaid isn't a subpoena.  If you want her standing up with you, just ask.

emilyinchile

Ditto Aerin, but you also don't have to ask his sisters to be BMs. In some families that would be a huge snub, and you know your FI's family better than we do, but you could also ask them to read, have your FI ask them to stand up on his side or just have them as guests (possibly processing in with the families to make them stand out).

Otherwise I would maybe have your FI ask her to read and say something like "sis, we want you to be involved in whatever way possible, so we'd love to have you as a BM, but I remember that conversation we had, so if you don't like that idea, would you consider reading something?"

JenO24

exactly what emily said!

trix1223

Emily:  you're so smart.  OP:  please do what Emily said.  Because she's so smart. 

Lisa8888

BMs were traditionally young, unmarried women. Now a days, it is common to have married BMs. I think there may be some merit to the age cut off especially if the bride is young.

I don't think you should ask his sisters just because they are his sisters. The people you select should have a close, personal relationship with you.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Honestly, my FI's sisters are not in the WP. My brother is. We asked his sisters to be readers. They're 31 and 33 and I really think that they'd feel ridiculous being BMs. FI and I are both fine with this choice. Why not just stick to the people you're close to?

marissa_claire

Why don't you find another job for them to do since there are so many and you want them to be a part of the day... she could do a reading, or they could hand out programs, keep an eye on gifts, etc.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_old-old?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fb7deec9-379c-4c09-a270-f57378099a9fPost:15cd27d8-f00f-43e2-aaab-1c088524274f">Re: How old is too old???</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you find another job for them to do since there are so many and you want them to be a part of the day... she could do a reading, or they could hand out programs, keep an eye on gifts, etc.
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]
<div>No one wants to work at a sibling's wedding.  I'd rather be a guest than to be assigned some meaningless task designed to make me feel included.  A 35 year old's feelings aren't going to be hurt if they're not in the WP (at least not a 35 year old of average maturity).</div>