Out of country groomsman?

AngelaReneeClaire

Hello ladies, 

My FI is having an out of country best friend be a part of the wedding party, which is great, I wouldn't have it any other way. But we're having a few issues with the timing of the event. 

He lives in Germany and school doesn't end for him until July 27th. We would like to have our wedding on August 3rd, because if we did it any later than that, FI's beginning of school would be cutting into the honeymoon.

But I was wondering about pre-wedding festivities. Is it okay if he's not able to attend all of them? I feel like it's at least a bummer, if not a little weird. 

Have you heard of that situation before? How was it handled? Thanks for the advice!

itzMS

What are "pre-wedding festivities"?

The only requirement for bridal party members is to show up at the ceremony, in the selected attire, so I think you should be just fine.

jagore08

No one needs to attend any pre-wedding activities, this includes the rehearsal.  

Peledreamsofrain

The timing is what it is, you just have to work around it. You are already being very courteous by asking what timing will allow him to comfortably attend the wedding, he will understand if he misses out on something else.

Belle0720

First of all, it's pretty great that your FI has a friend willing to fly overseas to support you two on your wedding day! One of my bridesmaids is living in Germany right now too so I can definitely relate. I knew when I asked her to be a bridesmaid that she might not be able to make it to the wedding let alone any pre-wedding events. But it was really important to me to at least ask because in an ideal world I want her standing next to me on my wedding day.

The idea of not having her (or any of my bms) by my side at the wedding, bridal shower, or bachelorette party definitely stinks, but life goes on and at the end of the day the most important thing is that FI and I are getting married.

I'm sure the groomsman doesn't expect you to schedule anything around him and if your FI is bummed that his friend can't make it to something beforehand, remind him how excited you are to marry him!

AngelaReneeClaire

I meant things like the bachelor party and the usual dinners and get-togethers that are involved when OOT guests arrive, but you're right, none of those are mandatory. We were also thinking of doing a WP get-together, but I suppose we could fit it in the week of.

Thanks for all of your helpful comments!

AngelaReneeClaire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_out-of-country-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fc0af388-d559-425c-8572-d6aa5a499f17Post:9a3e453b-7f7c-4244-bcd6-ab168bb4d364">Re: Out of country groomsman?</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all, it's pretty great that your FI has a friend willing to fly overseas to support you two on your wedding day! One of my bridesmaids is living in Germany right now too so I can definitely relate. I knew when I asked her to be a bridesmaid that she might not be able to make it to the wedding let alone any pre-wedding events. But it was really important to me to at least ask because in an ideal world I want her standing next to me on my wedding day. The idea of not having her (or any of my bms) by my side at the wedding, bridal shower, or bachelorette party definitely stinks, but life goes on and at the end of the day the most important thing is that FI and I are getting married. I'm sure the groomsman doesn't expect you to schedule anything around him and if your FI is bummed that his friend can't make it to something beforehand, remind him how excited you are to marry him!
Posted by MissKristenWed84403[/QUOTE]

<div>This is super encouraging, thanks so much. I definitely will! :)</div>

londonlamb

             I had the same problem but it is more than just a groomsman. FMIL,groomsman, and sister. So we pushed all activites into one week so there is something everyday that week. You could do some thing like that if you wanted him to attend everything but i dont think its that big a deall if he can't. 

           as a side note we only had a two week openig that theywould be able to fly out ths year so we had to have the wedding in those two weeks. We choose a date relizing it was the only one that would work. Then my FI got word that he has training ( navy) he has to fly out to around that same time. We had to wait a bit and found out that he leaves 4 days after. We were very relived that we had picked the right date.