bummin' :-/

bdulli13

So we've planned our destination Florida wedding as a way for our families to have this great trip together since we are all spread across the country and don't get to spend much time together-- everyone is so excited, and the Save the Dates went out on Monday. My dad is SO PSYCHED to walk me down the aisle, and to have all the grandkids together at Disney after the wedding, etc.

My dad is a consultant and has a two year project in the midwest that he is assigned to. Well, he found out today the project's rollout is... when else. They told him originally it wouldn't happen until 2012 (which would be two years!) He is so bummed, and it's making me so bummed. We don't even know where to go from here. I am trying not to get worked up, in hopes that it may change down the road, but I can't help feeling disappointed

mbcdefg

Can't you reschedule the wedding?

bdulli13

Not really sure yet. In theory, yes, if it comes to that hopefully we can, but it would probably have to wait until 2012 then because of the project, then the holiday season and such. I haven't booked any vendors other than the venue yet (luckily!) so we would probably only be out the money for the Save the Dates... Does anyone know if a venue would charge anything to change the date, if you were still having it at their place? Or if they would charge the guests anything to change their room reservations (hotel and venue are one and the same)? I will contact them over the weekend, j/w if anyone else has any experience with this.

I really wish I hadn't mailed those dumb STD's this week!

tldh

There's absolutely no way he can come?  DH is a consultant and his rollout started the Monday after our wedding.  He told his boss that he's be there and she told him to get his priorities straight (her exact words) that he was taking the week off and would come on the rollout a week late.

mkrupar

Why did you mail out STD's so early? I realize it's a DW, but 8 or 9 months would have given people plenty of time to make travel plans, especially for Florida. It's not like you're going to the bahamas or something. I'm sure you dad can work it out. Can you push the wedding forward any? Is the rollout the day of the wedding? You weren'treally specific as to whether it was then or before the wedding. Travelling from the Midwest to Florida shouldn't be that hard. Even if he can only make it for the wedding weekend, at least he'll be there to walk you down the aisle.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:7c48e8c9-d465-449d-ab59-962ce23ca413">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Why did you mail out STD's so early?</strong> I realize it's a DW, but 8 or 9 months would have given people plenty of time to make travel plans, especially for Florida. It's not like you're going to the bahamas or something. I'm sure you dad can work it out. Can you push the wedding forward any? Is the rollout the day of the wedding? You weren'treally specific as to whether it was then or before the wedding. Travelling from the Midwest to Florida shouldn't be that hard. Even if he can only make it for the wedding weekend, at least he'll be there to walk you down the aisle.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

We actually sent our STDs out for our DW about a year in advance, too.  I didn't want to do it, but our familes were clamoring for information and giving everyone time to save for the trip won out.  (People also need passports, which is something I'm assuming not needed in this situation).  And after all that, we are still answering questions that were clearly and legibly answered in the Save the Date info packet.  I'm annoyed.

That being said, I'm sorry, OP.  If the company keeps moving things around, how is your Dad supposed to make any plans?  He's supposed to just be in a holding pattern?  What if you move the wedding and they change their minds?  I feel like you  need way more information and your Dad really needs to know where the land lies. 

It sucks.  I'm sorry!!

bablingbrooke

That sucks a big one.

You can still give guests info without sending a formal STD this early in the game.  We didn't even bother with them after we realized that all our guests had the info through the family grapevine.  People understand it's a year out and, really, you can't really make travel plans this far out.  Most airlines only let you book 9-10 months out.

Having said all that, yes, this is a big deal for your dad.  But is it really unfathomable that he wouldn't be able to take the weekend off for your wedding a year from now?  Especially given the circumstances?  I kind of find it hard to believe that he'd have to be available 24/7 for a project rollout in another year.  Plus if the date has already changed once, who's to say it won't change again?  I just think there's a lot of unknowns here.

Beachy730

Ditto PP's.  How close to the wedding is the roll out date?  He would have to basically have a cold, heartless boss if they wouldn't give him a few days off to go to his daughter's wedding. 

As for moving the date, our venue was very good about if we had to move the date for military, but they probably do it for anyone.  If we had to change the date they would just move our contract and deposit as is to the new date and nothing else would change.  If you aren't cancelling with this venue but only changing the date I would expect them to be accommodating.  If not and they are going to keep your deposit tell them you are finding a new venue.  If that doesn't change their mind, I would still want to book a different venue anyways that was more accommodating.

sister2groom

I would send out an email/call people telling them to ignore the STDs as you have had a problem with the date. Then wait until the 8 or 9 month mark and see if you can figure anything out in the mean time. It would just be a real hassle if you changed everything around now and in the next month your dad's work plans changed AGAIN so you actually could have it when you initially planned it.

At the very least, have your dad tell his boss he really needs to know if this is nailed down because his daughter is getting married and that if they change it again he simply will not be available.

bdulli13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:39f2a3e4-e1e7-40de-989f-6595d7e0b704">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bummin' :-/ : We actually sent our STDs out for our DW about a year in advance, too.  I didn't want to do it, but our familes were clamoring for information and giving everyone time to save for the trip won out.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]


This is exactly why. If it were any other point in time, I would have waited until the 8 or 9 month mark, but with the economy the way it is, the more time people have the better, and our families really wanted more info (two families have already booked rooms-- we haven't even booked ours!). I tried just posting the wedding website in my FB for a while, but everyone ignored that, LOL.

The possible moving of the wedding isn't a big deal to me... The date has no particular signifigance, and I will marry my love any time, anywhere. I am a realist and I know this could absolutely change again depending on how smoothly the project is going, and when I posted last night it was more out of shock at the possibility, since we hadn't even considered that (like I said, they told him two years at least), and not an "OMG, what am I going to do!" type of thing. Truthfully, I am more upset that my DAD is upset-- this was so exciting for him, since he always ends up missing every other event that our family has (a trip to Gatlinburg, numerous cousins weddings, etc.) His boss is cool, and is trying to figure out how to make it work so he will at the very least, be able to be there for the wedding day. But, he will miss all of the other wedding "festivities" like playing golf with all his boys and his dad (all three of my brothers live in different states), taking the grandkids to Disney, etc.

So much can change as all of you with consultant hubbies/parents/etc know, but dad is being a Debbie Downer (and rightfully so, he really does have the worst luck) and I am feeling bad for him. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

bdulli13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:07d58a7f-76d6-4741-9a75-8dc073000b35">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]But is it really unfathomable that he wouldn't be able to take the weekend off for your wedding a year from now?  Especially given the circumstances?  I kind of find it hard to believe that he'd have to be available 24/7 for a project rollout in another year.  Plus if the date has already changed once, who's to say it won't change again?  I just think there's a lot of unknowns here.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

We just don't know. It depends on the project and how it's going. Unknowns is an understatement! He has had projects where he hasn't been able to come home for three weeks because he was needed there for a rollout, and others where he was able to work from home on his laptop and answer questions over the phone (which hopefully, will be the case here).  As of right now, the rollout is scheduled for the Monday after the wedding (two days later), so him being there that weekend could be crucial... or it could not. Uncertainty is a b*tch. I am hoping that since his boss knows so far in advance, they can keep someone who is equally capable in the loop, so my dad can enjoy a few days off and not just the wedding day. He has sure earned them.

mbcdefg

Maybe instead of the bosses giving him the dates that the rollout might occur, could they guarantee him a block of time where they WON'T need him for anything?

Ghoti

Man BD that is a bummer! I would really try not to stress too much, tell your dad to let his boss know NOW that he has a wedding to attend, and see what they can do to make sure he can be there.

bdulli13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:91da2334-422e-46f9-93dd-93d49b3a9123">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe instead of the bosses giving him the dates that the rollout might occur, could they guarantee him a block of time where they WON'T need him for anything?
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

That's a good call, I will suggest that to him. Maybe if they can say, hey, at the end of August or early september we won't need you, then we can rearrange accordingly.

Lisa50

Oh my gosh!  You sent STDs without a venue booked?!  You're a brave woman.  I hope your father is able to make it to the wedding.  Good luck!

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:07d58a7f-76d6-4741-9a75-8dc073000b35">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]That sucks a big one. You can still give guests info without sending a formal STD this early in the game.  We didn't even bother with them after we realized that all our guests had the info through the family grapevine.  People understand it's a year out and, really, you can't really make travel plans this far out.  Most airlines only let you book 9-10 months out. Having said all that, yes, this is a big deal for your dad.  But is it really unfathomable that he wouldn't be able to take the weekend off for your wedding a year from now?  Especially given the circumstances? <strong> I kind of find it hard to believe that he'd have to be available 24/7 for a project rollout in another year. </strong> Plus if the date has already changed once, who's to say it won't change again?  I just think there's a lot of unknowns here.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

Actually not that unfathomable.  DH had two rollouts within the last year.  The first one was on site meaning he was in another part of the country.  He volunteered for this one because if he hadn't, he'd have been on site starting the Monday after our wedding.  For that one, he was working 12 hour days 15 days straight at the home office.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:87034430-af21-4bcc-8c30-a763158dada8">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my gosh!  You sent STDs without a venue booked?!  You're a brave woman.  I hope your father is able to make it to the wedding.  Good luck!
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

Reading comprehension fail. She has the venue booked.

bdulli13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:69dd08f4-24ed-451e-a884-77add8f9eb32">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bummin' :-/ : Reading comprehension fail. She has the venue booked.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]


LOL, thanks Emily!

Yes, the venue has been booked for several months now.

bdulli13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bummin?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fd8e254f-eae0-4fc8-814f-56a4b2fa30d9Post:62068c4a-197a-4965-8ea2-e1b714703181">Re: bummin' :-/</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bummin' :-/ : Actually not that unfathomable.  DH had two rollouts within the last year.  The first one was on site meaning he was in another part of the country.  He volunteered for this one because if he hadn't, he'd have been on site starting the Monday after our wedding.  For that one, he was working 12 hour days 15 days straight at the home office.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]


Exactly, Tricia... You totally get the situation. While it may NOT be an issue, it may be. You know that the couple weeks surrounding the rollout are totally crucial and can be very demanding. I did make the suggestion to my parents that my dad speak with his boss this week and see if there is another week during late September or earlier in October that could be better, so we will see what happens there.