Wedding Party

How old is too old for the flower girl?

I am planning a wedding for early fall in 2013. I plan to have my little cousin who is currently 8 years old along with my fiance's niece to be my flower girls. I mentioned it to my mom and she thinks that my cousin is going to be too old for a flower girl at the time of the wedding. She will be 10 years old when the wedding occurs. What is your option on the topic girls!? I really need some support!

The thing is that my lil cousin said that she is going to be a flower girl when I brought my fiance to meet my whole family.

Re: How old is too old for the flower girl?

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    Magdala9Magdala9 member
    First Comment
    edited May 2011
    For me it was height, My 11 year old flower girl was taller than me so she was graduated to a junior bridesmaid.   I called her my flower girl until I saw her at her dress fitting; then went home and changed the wedding program. 

    Since she was graduated to a junior bridesmaid and it was recognition of her more grown up status, she was fine with the idea. 
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    I was 10 in the last wedding I was FG in. I agree about the height though if they are hitting puberty early up to JBM they go
    Nichole Tampa, FL BabyFetus Ticker
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    You should ask the child if she feels like she is too old. She herself might consider it a baby job. If you make her a bridesmaid instead, just call her a bridesmaid. There's no reason to attach "junior" to the title. She wears a dress and walks down the aisle just like the rest of the bridesmaids.
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    Height?  Really?  Reaaaaally??

    The flower girl is too old when she says she is too old.

    Ask her. 

    If she says "That's a baby's job," then make her a bridesmaid (not a junior). 
    If she says "YAY!!!" then she's a flower girl.
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    I have four sisters and one will be ten when I get married. I had no problem placing her because she's had her heart set on being my flower girl for a long time and I don't mind because she wants to do it and, personally, I don't feel like that's too old. However, she's going to be a flower girl along with another one of my sisters (who will be seven), and my fiance's cousin (who will be eight). I have another sister who will be thirteen and I thought that was too old to be a flower girl, so she's a junior bridesmaid. So, I think ten is fine for a flower girl, but older girls should be a junior bridesmaid.  
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    Your wedding is 2 years away. You say in your OP that at the moment she would like to be a FG, but that could completely change in 2 years.  I'd say if that's what she thinks right now, fine.  Maybe in another year or so ask her about it again and see what she says.  You shouldn't have looked into any dress for her yet, so if she changes her mind, JBM it is!
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2011
    Again... there is no difference between junior bridesmaid and bridesmaid.  Why do that to a younger teenager?  All it says is "Aw, you little thing.  You're ALMOST like the big girls!!!!  Now go play while we chat."

    Bridesmaid wear a dress, carry flowers, and stand at the altar.  Juniors do the exact same thing.  Parties, showers, etc... they aren't strictly bridesmaid things and can be attended/thrown by anyone.  Calling her junior because she doesn't have money to buy a dress or gift or can't attend a blow out bachelorette party isn't fair.  She's fulfilling her honor position by being at the wedding.

    Just call her a bridesmaid.  I promise - she'll appreciate it :-)
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    mine is 9 (a young cousin).  she does look about 6 however she lobbied for the position! 

    agree w/PP.  Wait 1 1/2 years and see how she feels.
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    The FG's we picked were my 2 cousins who will be 3 and 2 and our daughter who will be 1( very young i know) but there the youngest girls in the family the next age up is the FI's niece who will be 11 when we get married and she is so excited about being a junior BM.

    So if she doesn want to do then just moveon to another family memeber or a close family friend

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    I say ask her, she may think it's a "baby job" and not want to do it.  but ask her when it's a year out. a lot can change between now and then and it's wayyy too early to be picking dresses and such anyway.  If when the time comes both you and her want her as a flower girl - go for it.  yes, people will have comments. I have my 7 year old SISTER as a fg and multiple people told me she's told old and should be a JBM and don't I have any other younger little girls I could use instead?  I'm like, uh, she's my sister, she's THRILLED, and for crying out loud, she's only 7!  But yes, one of my 1st TK questions was if I was crazy and she was too old lol
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    I thought JBM came about because the BMs all had the same dress, but putting a 10 year old in an adult dress seems wrong, so there was JBM.  The dresses were kids dresses, but in the same colors and usually very similar styles to the BMs.    Now that its more common for the BMs to have different styles, I don't know that it matters if you call them JBM or not.

    As for the OP, let her decide closer to the wedding, when the BMs are ordering their dresses.  My then 10 year old sister didn't want to be a FG at our sister's wedding because she wasn't a "little kid" anymore.
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    I would wait to see closer to the wedding. It also depends on her maturaty, I was a flower girl at 10 and I was so happy and proud to be apart of the wedding party. Then again I wasnt as mature as kids seem to be now a days.

    And for height, it can be a problem if your a short bride. I had a couple younger cousins in mind for my flower girls but one is taller than I and the other will most likely be by next year. So having a flower girl taller than the bride seemed odd so I am choosing the daughter of a cousin who will be 4 at the time (and significantly shorter than I :P)
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