family vs friends for bridal party?

pupaju

I'm really stuck about who to ask to be in my wedding, and considering it is only 10mo away I really need to start asking people.  I know my MOH is going to be my best friend from med school just because she is so close to me and my fiance.  I also am having my fiance's sister as a bridesmaid.  for the remaining bridesmaids I'm between my cousins and my friends.   I have 5 close friends who I have grown up with since 3rd grade.  We are really close, have all been in each other's weddings.  I think they would be less offended if they were not in my bridal party because they would understand if I wanted to have my family, but I would be really sad not having them be part of my wedding.
       I also have 4 girl cousins who are all around my age and who I have grown up with since we were babies.  We are all extremely close also and I know they would love to be in the wedding.  I think they would be more offended than my friends if they were not included in the wedding, and I'm also having trouble imagining them not being in my wedding.
       i wish I could have all of them but that would be 10 ppl which I think is too big for our country wedding (~175ppl).
       Any suggestions?  Family only?  just friends?  have everyone?  Have my family do the readings at the church?

thanks!

megk8oz

Ditto Brooke.

Nobody is owed a spot in your BP. I was a BM for a friend of mine (DH was also a GM in their wedding), and when it came time for me to pick the BP, it never occured to me that I should ask this girl-we weren't that close to begin with, imo, and her wedding proceeded to put a lot of strain on the friendship on top of that. As far as family members go, I usually only say "Ask them to avoid drama" if the relative in question is a brother or a sister. But regarding cousins, all bets are off, imo.

Don't ask people just to avoid hurting feelings-it's impossible to ask "everybody" to be in the BP, any rational adult can figure that out. Don't ask people based on how "involved" you think they'll be in the planning process-if people volunteer to help, that's great, but nobody is actually required to help you plan except for your FI.

Ask people that you just cannot imagine not standing up there with you when you're saying your vows.

aerinpegadrak

Factors you should consider in selecting bridal party:
- emotional closeness to the person
- potential drama factor (sometimes it will cause less drama to just ask the person than not to)

Factors that shouldn't be part of the decision:
- physical distance
- financial situation (if it's more than they can afford, that's their decision, and you can always do what you can to accommodate them)
- ability to assist with wedding planning
- ability to throw parties
- gender
- numbers

SarahPLiz

 I think you should just stick with the 2 you know for sure you want there, the MOH and FI's sister. The rest can just be guests. If they offer, they can still be in on planning the shower and b-party.

FWIW, My sisters are my MOH's, and are both out of state. I saw them at Christmas and wont see them again until a couple days before the wedding. I have 4 really close girl friends here in town, who are not in the WP,  who have already offerred to throw a b-party/shower/whatever they want to call it, for me. Friends do that sort of stuff whether they are BMs or not, I promise.